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bigtree

(91,929 posts)
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:31 PM Jun 29

Where will the seniors in nursing homes go?

Elizabeth Warren @SenWarren 3h
Republicans, before you vote to close 1 of 4 nursing homes, can you update us on where those people will go?

Maybe call a few seniors in your state and go over plans for where they go next?

Or call the son whose dad has dementia and tell him how he can be a full-time caregiver?






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Where will the seniors in nursing homes go? (Original Post) bigtree Jun 29 OP
Republicans do not think ahead nor do they consider the consequences of their actions vapor2 Jun 29 #1
A huge amount of the nursing homes DENVERPOPS Jun 29 #7
Here in Florida the history of nursing homes has been dismal. Every year reports allegorical oracle Jun 30 #25
What you are describing are not "nursing homes". Katinfl Jun 30 #29
Thanks for the clarification. Skilled nursing facilities, then, are often still referred to as allegorical oracle Jun 30 #34
Texas is the same. Most of them provide very little care, but Republucans control the state. Lonestarblue Jun 30 #32
What you are describing is actually known as PoindexterOglethorpe Jun 30 #67
So, is where you live a "Continuing Care Community"? If not, what is walkingman Jul 1 #77
Yup Joinfortmill Jun 30 #45
I disagree - they think ahead AND they do consider the consequences of their actions rurallib Jun 30 #41
Exactly. It's a win-win for them: Fewer nursing homes, more seniors die, less money drained from SSA/Medicare/Medicaid. Native Jun 30 #52
The Plan is for married women to care for all elderly relatives. delisen Jul 1 #79
I don't believe the average thuglican gives a hoot where these people go. They'll just step over the bodies. wcmagumba Jun 29 #2
They don't fucking care who they hurt. BlueKota Jun 29 #3
Congress? SocialDemocrat61 Jun 29 #4
Six feet under. RockRaven Jun 29 #5
The elderly were immediately sent to the gas chambers BonnieJW Jun 30 #39
they won't even have "camps" - Nigrum Cattus Jun 30 #42
On the sidewalk first mahina Jun 29 #6
Got sick? Die quick! Seinan Sensei Jun 30 #20
Yep. You got it. Karasu Jun 30 #55
Don't support Medicaid cuts. But nursing homes are profitable. In fact, here's an article from Silent Type Jun 29 #8
You must not have had much experience in the area. W_HAMILTON Jun 29 #14
Plenty experience. NHomes make money. And if some unprofitable NH closes, there are plenty who'll Silent Type Jun 30 #16
It doesn't matter if nursing homes are profitable or owned by rich people MadameButterfly Jun 30 #21
I'll bet money there are more nursing home beds in 2, 3, 5 years than now. Whether quality will just be awful or abysmal Silent Type Jun 30 #36
There damn sure won't be more Medicaid beds with less Medicaid funding. W_HAMILTON Jun 30 #49
We'll watch but I say there won't be. In three years they'll have ripped $24B from those homes. Bengus81 Jun 30 #59
This sounds like how Trump said retailers would just eat the cost of tariffs NickB79 Jun 30 #60
Thel lucky ones . . . AverageOldGuy Jun 29 #9
Leave them on the doorsteps of every fucking shitstain who votes for this monstrosity. GoCubsGo Jun 29 #10
Start showing up at all the christian nationalist/dominionist/right wing churches that promoted this monstrosity jmbar2 Jun 29 #11
They can not be bothered Seinan Sensei Jun 29 #15
If a couple are both working just to get by, they can't afford to pay caregivers pnwmom Jun 30 #48
FAT CHANCE Skittles Jun 30 #22
Some of the large church groups in Florida own and operate nursing homes. So they benefit allegorical oracle Jun 30 #26
Interesting model jmbar2 Jun 30 #28
The one I'm most familiar with takes anyone -- there's a years-long waiting list. Apartments allegorical oracle Jun 30 #35
My brother recently went into a nursing home. He's on the autism spectrum. jmbar2 Jun 30 #38
Soylent Green. roamer65 Jun 29 #12
Nursing homes and care services that Figarosmom Jun 29 #13
GOP agenda: bankrupt then kill everyone and anyone BigmanPigman Jun 30 #17
Republicans must have timms139 Jun 30 #18
Undertakers are not the villains here. Joinfortmill Jun 30 #46
30 states have filial responsibility laws KT2000 Jun 30 #19
I didnt know about this. Joinfortmill Jun 30 #47
"We're going to appoint a Secretary of Useless Eaters." - G.O.P. BoRaGard Jun 30 #23
Maybe their attitude is Not my problem I don't care. 😡 TommieMommy Jun 30 #24
More than once I've witnessed the inhumane results of adults children having to quit their jobs... Trueblue Texan Jun 30 #43
Reagan didnt care when he kicked pepple out of mental hospitals SSJVegeta Jun 30 #27
Yep. This goes back to Reagan and the bullshit of compassionate conservatism. progressoid Jun 30 #44
"Re-elect us to stop the Dems from kicking you out of Medicare" Ruby the Liberal Jun 30 #30
Every accusation is a confession mac56 Jun 30 #56
Horrifying. Passages Jun 30 #31
The street. Kid Berwyn Jun 30 #33
Treat em and street em. n/t librechik Jun 30 #37
There was no where for my late husband to go CountAllVotes Jun 30 #40
I'm sorry for your loss. area51 Jun 30 #57
Well, they're opening up concentration camps for something........ lastlib Jun 30 #50
GOP don tcare Demovictory9 Jun 30 #51
GQP don't care about my grandparents, parents, et al.,............ Lovie777 Jun 30 #53
Most 'nursing homes' are already appalling. pandr32 Jun 30 #54
Oh, no, no - I've seen plans for the lovely new Trump-themed facility. It's called "Hartsheim", I believe . . . . hatrack Jun 30 #58
They will be given a femur from a cow and sent on their merry way JT45242 Jun 30 #61
I'm a young senior LittleGirl Jun 30 #62
Several close friends run care homes JCMach1 Jun 30 #63
These BASTARDS better NEVER mention death panel again. bluestarone Jun 30 #64
They don't care. At ALL. Evolve Dammit Jun 30 #65
Like the turtle so coldy said from the evil depths of his soul, "They'll get over it." C Moon Jun 30 #66
The morgue. dsharp88 Jun 30 #68
On the streets, where a vicious zorbasd Jun 30 #69
To their graves malaise Jun 30 #70
Thats exactly right. Best hoard our pain meds halobeam Jul 1 #71
Sad but true malaise Jul 1 #72
I visit a nursing home almost every day... kentuck Jul 1 #73
from experience bigtree Jul 1 #74
You are right. kentuck Jul 1 #75
life just trundles on, in it's own interminable way bigtree Jul 2 #80
That is a beautiful thing to do. delisen Jul 1 #78
Senior parents formerly parked in nursing homes will be banging on bubba's door for a place to live. SheltieLover Jul 1 #76

vapor2

(2,710 posts)
1. Republicans do not think ahead nor do they consider the consequences of their actions
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:34 PM
Jun 29

Part of me just says this party of GREED and POWER will own everything that happens

DENVERPOPS

(13,003 posts)
7. A huge amount of the nursing homes
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:58 PM
Jun 29

are run by slumlord Uber Rich, oligarchs as their "Cash Cows"..........just wait for them to figure out who/what caused their income to be obliterated.

That is the same thing that Countless U.S. Corporations will finally "wake" up to as their businesses crash as a direct result of the RepubliCon party THEY helped put in place with massive campaign donations...........

an example is the current Soy Bean farmers that didn't learn the first time.....of course Trump bailed them all out for his disastrous tariff on China for soybeans.
Trump scrambled and made the farmers whole again, spending 60 billion......of course many of those bailed out were "Corporate Farms"

allegorical oracle

(5,376 posts)
25. Here in Florida the history of nursing homes has been dismal. Every year reports
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 07:59 AM
Jun 30

make headlines about abuse and neglect -- even rapes that occurred.

It's improved with legislation, but costs are beyond the means of most people. Now called "senior living facilities" can charge $300,000 to be accepted and $3,000-$6,000 per month for a one-or-two-bedroom apartment. They're very nice, all-inclusive -- meals, transportation, activities, medical attention. But largely unaffordable for most.

The average options are as you point out -- cash cows for shady LLCs.

Katinfl

(430 posts)
29. What you are describing are not "nursing homes".
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:30 AM
Jun 30

They are , in fact, “senior living facilities” , designed for people with the means to live there. No one on Medicaid lives in one of those facilities. Most residents in a skilled nursing facility (nursing home) are on Medicaid. They are very different.

allegorical oracle

(5,376 posts)
34. Thanks for the clarification. Skilled nursing facilities, then, are often still referred to as
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:05 AM
Jun 30

"nursing homes" at least generically. They may think that the word "skilled" has changed a stereotype of them, but the mother of a lifelong friend of mine was raped in one of those facilities. Maybe some are fine -- and make a valid effort to hire skilled personnel, but the prospect of living in one of them can be grim.

Lonestarblue

(12,811 posts)
32. Texas is the same. Most of them provide very little care, but Republucans control the state.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:49 AM
Jun 30

And most of the don’t what happens to seniors, or to anyone else for that matter. They care only about doing what their billionaire overlords tell them to do.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(28,003 posts)
67. What you are describing is actually known as
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 07:56 PM
Jun 30

"Continuing Care Communities" and yes, they are very expensive to get into.

Meanwhile there are still plenty of senior living places such as the one I'm in. It's essentially an apartment house with about a hundred units altogether, divided between independent (the lion's share) and assisted living. My monthly rent includes two meals per do, transportation to grocery store, various activities Rummikub or bingo. On Fridays there's a lunch excursion to some restaurant in town, chosen from resident suggestions. Frankly, I'm surprised that many more residents don't go out to these, especially given the complaints many have about the food here.

rurallib

(63,924 posts)
41. I disagree - they think ahead AND they do consider the consequences of their actions
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 12:22 PM
Jun 30

and when the cameras aren't their they celebrate causing so much pain and upheaval. After all, what good is power if you can't use it.

No, I believe they know full well what they are doing. Good gawd how many times do they have to be told?

Native

(7,190 posts)
52. Exactly. It's a win-win for them: Fewer nursing homes, more seniors die, less money drained from SSA/Medicare/Medicaid.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 03:49 PM
Jun 30

I'm sure DeathSantis will have a solution for us here in Florida though. Not to worry, seniors, he can whip something up for us in the Everglades.

delisen

(7,110 posts)
79. The Plan is for married women to care for all elderly relatives.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 12:34 PM
Jul 1

Women are going to be driven out of the workforce to stay at home and care for everyone, male children in poorer families will be leaving school in early teens to work, female children leave school early to be part of the family care team.

There will be only minimal medical care available.

For families with no female caregivers or too many needing care, there will be government-contracted, profiteering corporate institutions for the elderly, chronically ill, and and all ages of citizens deemed mentally ill or unfit for education. These contacts will be awarded to corporations as rewards for obeying the corrupt government.

In short MAGA world is a return to a world such as Victorian England but with women being barred from all but the most menial jobs, fulfilling only the role of child bearing and caregiving. The Victorian institutions for persons considered mentally ill or mentally defective will be owned and operated by corporate entities, as will prisons,and will receive government funds but have little or no oversight . These will all be places where people are sent to die.

The entire plan fits together, it is the complete reversal of democracy and of government of , by, and for the people.

wcmagumba

(4,383 posts)
2. I don't believe the average thuglican gives a hoot where these people go. They'll just step over the bodies.
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:37 PM
Jun 29
But not really. "Oh, what a world, what a world", The Wicked Witch of the West while melting...

BlueKota

(4,400 posts)
3. They don't fucking care who they hurt.
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:39 PM
Jun 29

They don't have a soul or a conscience. They are just cash hungry monsters.

RockRaven

(17,625 posts)
5. Six feet under.
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:44 PM
Jun 29

Which is what MAGA Republicans want. They are fully into Nazi "useless eaters" and "Lebensunwertes Leben" (life unworthy of life) territory these days, just look at the sort of stuff Bobby Brainworm and Fraudster Oz have been spewing.

This isn't hyperbole; MAGA Republicans want people to die in droves so that the wealthiest people on earth -- who already have so much they literally could not spend it all on material goods if they tried every day of their remaining life to do so -- can be yet even wealthier.

BonnieJW

(2,977 posts)
39. The elderly were immediately sent to the gas chambers
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 12:08 PM
Jun 30

As soon as they entered the camps. Also, the ill, children, anyone with any kind of disability or mental issues. Since we are now a nation run by nazis, I'm sure they'll follow the same procedures.

Silent Type

(10,514 posts)
8. Don't support Medicaid cuts. But nursing homes are profitable. In fact, here's an article from
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 10:59 PM
Jun 29

Center for Medicare Advocacy. There are plenty of other similar articles.

MARCH 14, 2024

FacebookTwitterLinkedInShare
Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Nursing homes claim to lose money every year, but they stay in business and don’t close or file for bankruptcy. How is that possible? It’s possible because industry claims aren’t true. Nursing homes hide 62.9% of profits by paying inflated prices to related parties, primarily for real estate and management services.

In “Tunneling and Hidden Profits in Health Care,” economists Ashvin Gandhi and Andrew Olenski report that if nursing facilities spent their hidden profits on staffing, mean staffing ratios would significantly increase – by nearly 0.23 hours per resident day (HPRD) of registered nurse (RN) time, a 28.9% increase, or by 0.47 HPRD of certified nurse aide (CNA) hours per resident day, a 21.0% increase.

Moreover, if the hidden profits were spent on staffing, facilities would be much closer to complying with the staffing hours identified in the Biden Administration’s proposed staffing ratio rule. Compliance with the 0.45 HPRD RN requirements would rise from 55.2% to 75.6%; compliance with the proposed 2.55 HPRD certified nurse aide (CNA) standard would rise from 15.3% to 36.1%.

The researchers base their work on 24 years of nursing homes’ Medicaid cost reports in Illinois, which requires facilities to submit detailed Medicaid cost report information, including mandatory reporting of information about related parties. Gandhi suspects that hiding profits might be more common in states other than Illinois, “‘where it’s easier to not report the transactions.’”

Here’s link, but paragraphs above are pretty much it— https://medicareadvocacy.org/nursing-homes-hide-profits/

Again, not for cuts, but NHs aren’t really the target for cuts, and they can absorb some whatever hits them. I bet they are doing well 5 years from now. Admittedly, some small mom-and-pop homes struggle.

No NH resident— all of whom meet tough requirements for Medicaid NH coverage - will be impacted by any work requirements.

Hope bill fails, in any event.

W_HAMILTON

(9,340 posts)
14. You must not have had much experience in the area.
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 11:29 PM
Jun 29

Lucky you.

Many nursing homes limit the number of "Medicaid beds" they have so that they can instead focus on the much more profitable private pay patients.

Cutting Medicaid funding will in no way help everyday Americans. There will be even fewer Medicaid beds, which means poor and middle class families will themselves be forced to care for loved ones that they most likely do not have the resources or expertise to provide.

Silent Type

(10,514 posts)
16. Plenty experience. NHomes make money. And if some unprofitable NH closes, there are plenty who'll
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 12:13 AM
Jun 30

take their place.

Not to say that some poor people won’t fall through cracks, but nursing homes go out of business often, sometimes for questionable reasons including administrator/owner spending too much of profits that don’t go back into the facility.

Maybe some GOPers — having to take care of grandma — might change their views on a lot of things.

MadameButterfly

(3,287 posts)
21. It doesn't matter if nursing homes are profitable or owned by rich people
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 01:41 AM
Jun 30

The owners of nuseing homes aren't going to take the hit for medicaid cuts. They'll reduce the number of medicaid beds and there just won't be enough beds for people who can't pay out of pocket. If rich people are running nursing home to make a profit, and the profit is reduced by less Medicaid money, do you think they'll keep running the homes without the profit?

Whether they are forced to close or choose to close, we are without these nursing homes.

Silent Type

(10,514 posts)
36. I'll bet money there are more nursing home beds in 2, 3, 5 years than now. Whether quality will just be awful or abysmal
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:38 AM
Jun 30

is another question.

Bengus81

(9,028 posts)
59. We'll watch but I say there won't be. In three years they'll have ripped $24B from those homes.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 05:51 PM
Jun 30

NickB79

(19,985 posts)
60. This sounds like how Trump said retailers would just eat the cost of tariffs
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 05:54 PM
Jun 30

Newsflash: by and large, they won't.

AverageOldGuy

(2,749 posts)
9. Thel lucky ones . . .
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 11:00 PM
Jun 29

. . . will go home. Families will need to learn how to change sheets with a person in the bed, how to deal with a bed pan, watch for bed sores . . . .

I wrote a letter to the editor of my local paper back in March telling folks with family members in nursing homes that they had best learn these and other skills. You can imagine the torrent of shit that poured out in response. I can hardly wait to wave it in their faces.

GoCubsGo

(34,079 posts)
10. Leave them on the doorsteps of every fucking shitstain who votes for this monstrosity.
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 11:03 PM
Jun 29

Let these assholes in Congress tend to them.

jmbar2

(7,074 posts)
11. Start showing up at all the christian nationalist/dominionist/right wing churches that promoted this monstrosity
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 11:20 PM
Jun 29

They have long said they don't like government social safety nets. Now is their time to step up to feed the poor and care for the sick. I'd like to see the megachurches turned into social service/healthcare/nursing centers.

Seinan Sensei

(1,067 posts)
15. They can not be bothered
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 11:46 PM
Jun 29

to take-in elderly in need of care.
Just like the pro birth ( NOT “Pro-Life”) faction could not be bothered to adopt foster children.

pnwmom

(109,978 posts)
48. If a couple are both working just to get by, they can't afford to pay caregivers
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 02:34 PM
Jun 30

for a loved one at home, even if they could find them.

allegorical oracle

(5,376 posts)
26. Some of the large church groups in Florida own and operate nursing homes. So they benefit
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:09 AM
Jun 30

from federal social services. One in my area takes a down payment (don't know the cost) and then your Social Security check flows directly to the church's bank account. Residents receive a small allowance for food, but depend on family members for funds to spend on needed clothing and personal items.

jmbar2

(7,074 posts)
28. Interesting model
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:29 AM
Jun 30

Do they mainly serve their own church members? Wonder how they will be affected by the Billionaire's bill cuts.

allegorical oracle

(5,376 posts)
35. The one I'm most familiar with takes anyone -- there's a years-long waiting list. Apartments
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:11 AM
Jun 30

generally house two residents so folks I've spoken with said they have had a hard time adapting to roommates...and have heard food complaints, but it's otherwise something of a model facility.

jmbar2

(7,074 posts)
38. My brother recently went into a nursing home. He's on the autism spectrum.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:23 AM
Jun 30

Had problems with the roommate and general noise levels. Fortunately, they were able to move him to the end of the hall and my sister brought him good headphones. He is happy being on his laptop all day, so that has worked out for now.

Figarosmom

(7,002 posts)
13. Nursing homes and care services that
Sun Jun 29, 2025, 11:24 PM
Jun 29

Provide home care services, are already having problems because so many are here on visas and dickhead has pretty much canceled their visas. Many of the home care are long time illegal residents that have learned how to get by e-verify or permanant residents from Cuba, Haiti or other South American countries that dickhead canceled their papers too. And did he cancel the visas from Ukraine 🇺🇦 and 🇵🇱 Poland like he said he was? Many of them work as care workers too.

BigmanPigman

(53,369 posts)
17. GOP agenda: bankrupt then kill everyone and anyone
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 12:23 AM
Jun 30

In that order. The MAGATS are greedy sadists.

KT2000

(21,618 posts)
19. 30 states have filial responsibility laws
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 01:19 AM
Jun 30

They vary by state but center around the fact that adult children are expected to support their parents and their long term care needs. It kicks in if they do not qualify for Medicaid.

https://www.harborlifesettlements.com/4-ways-filial-responsibility-laws-can-affect-you/

Joinfortmill

(18,590 posts)
47. I didnt know about this.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 01:44 PM
Jun 30

I loved my parents and would have willingly helped them in their old age. It wasn't necessary, they had sufficient resources. That being said, it's difficult to wrap my mind around how this is legal.

BoRaGard

(6,401 posts)
23. "We're going to appoint a Secretary of Useless Eaters." - G.O.P.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 05:04 AM
Jun 30

"So we have that problem solved in advance. Heh heh." - G.O.P., INC.

TommieMommy

(2,200 posts)
24. Maybe their attitude is Not my problem I don't care. 😡
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 07:28 AM
Jun 30

Many adults cannot care for their parents and work and care for their kids and or grandkids because of financial issues. Families are struggling.

Trueblue Texan

(3,488 posts)
43. More than once I've witnessed the inhumane results of adults children having to quit their jobs...
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 01:25 PM
Jun 30

...jobs that provided the only household income, in order to care for their parents who didn't qualify for medicare/medicaid. TSF's policies are killing America and Americans...as quickly as possible. Enough is enough.

SSJVegeta

(1,151 posts)
27. Reagan didnt care when he kicked pepple out of mental hospitals
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:15 AM
Jun 30

Republicans don't care about making grandparents homeless

Ruby the Liberal

(26,515 posts)
30. "Re-elect us to stop the Dems from kicking you out of Medicare"
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:45 AM
Jun 30

"We keep trying, but the Dems are so evil that they are stopping us from rescuing Medicaid"

I hate these people with every fiber in my being

CountAllVotes

(21,895 posts)
40. There was no where for my late husband to go
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 12:15 PM
Jun 30

They were trying to find a bed for him somewhere and they could not find one.

He ended up being sent to an end-of-life facility when he died about a week later. The cost of this fell upon me. It was $500.00 a day. I don't know what would have happened if I did not have a $5000.00 line of credit on my credit card because that is how I paid for it.

It was THE saddest time of my life and no, I still have not gotten over it and likely I never will.

He was a veteran that worked hard and he deserved so much more!



& recommend.

lastlib

(26,330 posts)
50. Well, they're opening up concentration camps for something........
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 03:44 PM
Jun 30

Seems we're not far removed from the Nazi extermination campaigns, are we?

hatrack

(63,028 posts)
58. Oh, no, no - I've seen plans for the lovely new Trump-themed facility. It's called "Hartsheim", I believe . . . .
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 05:24 PM
Jun 30

.

JT45242

(3,491 posts)
61. They will be given a femur from a cow and sent on their merry way
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 06:00 PM
Jun 30

Think of all the social security money they will save with all these people dying.

LittleGirl

(8,799 posts)
62. I'm a young senior
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 06:01 PM
Jun 30

Two or more bad luck occurrences and death of my spouse could land me in a nursing home!

I’m worried about everyone including myself.

bluestarone

(19,954 posts)
64. These BASTARDS better NEVER mention death panel again.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 06:10 PM
Jun 30

They accused Democrats of death panels. They are WORTHLESS pieces of shit.

dsharp88

(521 posts)
68. The morgue.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 08:51 PM
Jun 30

They’re of no use to republicans anymore - too sick to vote and no money to donate.

zorbasd

(442 posts)
69. On the streets, where a vicious
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:42 PM
Jun 30

dystopian regime has sprong its ugly fascistic head......when the US will eventually be doomed.

halobeam

(5,048 posts)
71. Thats exactly right. Best hoard our pain meds
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 01:56 AM
Jul 1

from now on, from any procedure & just suffer that pain, and build up our arsenal for the most compassionate way to go.

By our own hand, in our own terms, and let our adult kids have one less nightmare on their hands.

I know my exit won't be by the horrid design of the selfish and the greedy. They sure as hell won't get the last say when it comes my time, nor dictate, demand my children to give up their God given right to live happily. SO.. totally fuck that. And fuck them, too. And that also, is all.



kentuck

(114,431 posts)
73. I visit a nursing home almost every day...
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 09:20 AM
Jul 1

I am going today to play music for the Alzheimers' patients. Music seems to have a way of triggering memories and they seem to enjoy it very much. It is interesting to study the reactions from different songs. My wife has been there for almost 8 months and I have no idea what I would do if she was not taken care of? I think about it a lot.

bigtree

(91,929 posts)
74. from experience
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 10:26 AM
Jul 1

...there comes a time when you just can't care for them as well as a staff of folks.

Hoping for the best, as always, kentuck.

kentuck

(114,431 posts)
75. You are right.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 10:44 AM
Jul 1

I was her primary provider for the last 5 years and it got to the point where she was better there than with me, for the assistance she needed. It's the toughest battle I have ever fought. Depression is a constant struggle.

bigtree

(91,929 posts)
80. life just trundles on, in it's own interminable way
Wed Jul 2, 2025, 01:28 AM
Jul 2

...all of us caught up in a seeming stream of the universe's decline. Depression would seem a natural, unfortunate response to it all, among other emotions.

I believe some of the best of what we do is to help preserve life as long as we can, to forestall the inevitability of our passing. So unique among all of the creatures of the earth to the degree that we look after each other, more than some specialness in the actions of those who refuse to.

It's magic, really, how we roil time as we care for each other and life around us. I hope you can feel comfort from your own caregiving. I know you did your best.

The night before I drove Dad to the nursing home, having not communicated anything for at least a month, he looked up at me as I was tucking him into bed and said "You did a really good job."

I asked him to repeat it, and he said it again, with emphasis and amazing clarity - his last cogent words spoken for the months afterward.

I'd tell you the same, kentuck. You did a good job. I know, because you so desperately want to do more. You're a traveler, roiling time with your care. Good job, friend.

SheltieLover

(71,780 posts)
76. Senior parents formerly parked in nursing homes will be banging on bubba's door for a place to live.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 10:48 AM
Jul 1

Let's see how they will spin that to blame Joe, Obamas tan suit, Hillary's emails, or Hunter's laptop...

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