Not going to lie. Wouldn't mind a Hiaasenian ending to Trump's visit to the Everglades detention camp.

[Tommy Carcetti]

Maybe something involving a gator, or a python.

Is something along the lines of Sick Puppy too much?

Sorry for the spoiler alert, but that one involves (among other things) a corrupt former car-sales governor being chased by a rhino in a crony canned hunting trip gone amok. He narrowly escapes the rhino but can't escape his predecessor--recurring Hiaasen character Skink, a former governor turned Everglades dwelling recluse--who proceeds to carve the words "Shame" into his buttocks to remind him of all his misdeeds.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_Puppy

[Ocelot II]

1. That would be animal cruelty. No alligator or python deserves such a fate.

[Easterncedar]

2. Enjoying the thought, thanks

(Except for the buttocks) Skink is a great character.

[Mike 03]

3. I'd settle for the midpoint of "Deliverance" too. NT

[Timeflyer]

4. May I suggest a summer thunderstorm with an "unfortunate" lightning strike.

[Native]

5. We are the lightning capital of the world!

[sop]

6. The sweltering July heat and humidity in the Glades, not to mention skeeters the size of small birds, will do him in.

Maybe he'll take an airboat tour of the surrounding swamp and his ratty weave will get sucked into the prop?

[rubbersole]

9. Make him cut sugarcane after/during the field burning.

[Mme. Defarge]

7. Squeeze Me!

I logged in to rec. this suggestion.

[Tommy Carcetti]

15. Reading it now. nt

[Mme. Defarge]

17. Time for me to read it again!

[BoRaGard]

8. Sending out an S.O.S. to Skink

[BadgerMom]

10. 💯

[erronis]

11. Wow! Why hasn't "Sick Puppy" been made into a film? It's rife/ripe with great memes.

Of course, I'd love to see donald have a starring role....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_Puppy

[Tommy Carcetti]

14. They did adapt Bad Monkey as a series

On Apple TV.

It was actually pretty good. Very Florida but in the best of ways.

A lot better received than the other Hiaasen adaptation, Strip Tease.

[GiqueCee]

12. Carl Hiaasen...

... is a genius! I can't wait for his next book.

[BaronChocula]

13. Ground up with a bunch of sugar cane

That would be sweet, in a manner of speaking.

[highplainsdem]

16. I had the same thought. And it's likely Hiaasen already did, too.