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cab67

(3,409 posts)
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:09 PM 11 hrs ago

an email I just sent to a MAGA cousin of mine.

Nothing has happened to her yet, but she's panicking and asking for help. She's perpetually underemployed, has a history of making very poor decisions about her own finances, and has some health issues.

-----

Dear Cousin,

I got your text earlier today asking us to put some money away in case you need it for your medical expenses. You’re concerned that Medicaid is about to be slashed and you might lose your coverage.

I’m responding by email because I want to say more than just “no.”

You voted for Trump. You voted for every Republican on the ballot in your state. You brought this on yourself, and I'm not inclined to intervene.

Most likely, you knew they said they'd do this, but didn’t think they meant it. This means you lied yourself into making the biggest mistake any citizen of this country could have made in the modern era. They told you what they would do, but you voted for them anyway.

That, or you didn’t know they wanted to do this. Trump kept telling people Medicaid would be safe. In that case, you didn’t do enough research before casting a ballot. That’s even worse; it means you’re moving through life willingly ignorant of things that matter to you and expecting everyone else to clean up the mess you’ve helped create. That Trump cannot be trusted to tell the truth is now an objective fact and not a mere opinion, and pretty much every other Republican in Congress expressed a bloodthirst to kill the whole program. That includes the ones who are pretending they oppose it, now that it's in that abomination of a bill and they can read the polls.

I suppose there's a third possibility - that you knew this would happen, but assumed the rest of us would cover your losses because your desire to abduct immigrants, do whatever Netanyahu tells us, and raise tariffs that other countries - and not US consumers - would obviously pay outweighed any actual consequences you would personally face, and that because we're all a bunch of do-gooder libtards, we would be too soft-hearted to say "no." I always tell my grad students to check their assumptions BEFORE doing something that can't be reversed.

Sorry, but I can’t help you this time. I’m a lot closer to 60 than I care to think. I also have a young daughter, and my wife – though in good health – has encountered some medical problems. As have I. I have to put my immediate family first as a parent and spouse does, especially as costs rise while our salaries do not.

And even if I could, I wouldn't. Yeah, I’m one of those progressives who thinks we should help one another. But you know what? I’m also a realist and a pragmatist. I don’t have the resources to support you, given where I think the economy is going and what the White House is doing to the federal scientific organizations on which I’ve relied for my work. We’re saving for our daughter’s future and our own retirement, along with the unexpected expenses that arise from time to time. There is no hypocrisy in wanting to help people and expecting others to face the consequences of their actions.

You voted for the people who did this. This is what you wanted. I will not take away that which you asked for.

Sorry.

Oh - and did you ever get your kid immunized? Might be a smart thing to do; a vaccine is a whole lot cheaper than being treated for a serious illness, not to mention the work days you'll miss caring for your convalescing kid.

61 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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an email I just sent to a MAGA cousin of mine. (Original Post) cab67 11 hrs ago OP
Wow, I would steal that if I could. Except none of my relatives (that I know of) voted for Trump. Dan 11 hrs ago #1
On point. sheshe2 11 hrs ago #2
K&R...let us know if you hear back. nt. druidity33 11 hrs ago #3
just one correction Skittles 10 hrs ago #4
While that is true, soldierant 9 hrs ago #14
Including hundreds of thousands of deaths Ilsa 9 hrs ago #19
right Skittles 9 hrs ago #23
ding. x 1000 AllaN01Bear 10 hrs ago #5
You exactly hit all the pertinent points DeeDeeNY 10 hrs ago #6
Amen amen! This is the kindest smackdown I've read. When one makes a ancianita 10 hrs ago #7
+++. I might have changed "Oh - and did you ever get your kid immunized?" to "neutered". erronis 10 hrs ago #8
Wow. I would have just ignored the text. GladysKravitz 10 hrs ago #9
That was a great reply. FoxNewsSucks 9 hrs ago #15
It allows no path to reconciliation. GladysKravitz 9 hrs ago #21
with all due respect Skittles 9 hrs ago #24
You must have wonderful family BBQs. GladysKravitz 9 hrs ago #25
my family CARES about people other than themselves Skittles 9 hrs ago #26
They certainly wouldn't admit it if you're making the potato salad! GladysKravitz 9 hrs ago #27
*yawn* Skittles 8 hrs ago #29
All I said was the poster should try to leave an opening for reconciliation with family members. GladysKravitz 8 hrs ago #30
"Poor decisions run in the family." dpibel 8 hrs ago #40
But that's the point not fooled 8 hrs ago #41
Im lucky in that we're all slightlv 7 hrs ago #45
Path to reconciliation??? FoxNewsSucks 8 hrs ago #36
Your family wants your destruction? GladysKravitz 8 hrs ago #37
My maga brother posts all over FB that he hopes all liberals' children die. still-prayin4rain 7 hrs ago #47
Wowzer. Abolishinist 6 hrs ago #48
I don't know about their family, but yes... Pacifist Patriot 1 hr ago #59
This message was self-deleted by its author GladysKravitz 9 hrs ago #20
Good for You! DET 10 hrs ago #10
Hope your cousin reflects on what you said Figarosmom 9 hrs ago #11
You just made my day. LilElf70 9 hrs ago #12
No need to get nasty, surely? Aussie105 9 hrs ago #13
I didn't think it harsh at all. FoxNewsSucks 9 hrs ago #16
'Needs to be told' falls on deaf ears. Aussie105 9 hrs ago #18
No, they never learn. They'll double down instead. Meadowoak 8 hrs ago #31
well they won't WORK IT OUT FOR THEMSELVES if you keep bailing them out Skittles 8 hrs ago #32
Really?????? FoxNewsSucks 8 hrs ago #33
hard to feel sorry for people who wished misfortune on others Skittles 8 hrs ago #28
Nope. not fooled 8 hrs ago #42
I would never turn my back on family, ever. purple_haze 9 hrs ago #17
I've turned my back on tRumpster family, forever. I may be forced to live in a shithole fascist country but luckily I ImNotGod 9 hrs ago #22
Same here. FoxNewsSucks 8 hrs ago #35
I wouldn't either, but voting Trump is just a deal breaker Meadowoak 8 hrs ago #38
It's a difficult choice. But these are not normal times. Joinfortmill 2 hrs ago #58
Righteous K & R Emile 8 hrs ago #34
I might have added FuzzyRabbit 8 hrs ago #39
FAFO flags for anyone to copy. usonian 7 hrs ago #43
F.A.F.O. K & R Dem4life1970 7 hrs ago #44
So well written, almost makes me wish I had a MAGAt family member Abolishinist 7 hrs ago #46
That just sounds mean Grumpy Old Woman 6 hrs ago #49
Agreed. And then to post it on a public forum? Really? Is this something to boast about? Doodley 5 hrs ago #52
It gives other people courage to shed those toxic family members. GoneOffShore 4 hrs ago #53
LOL Skittles 3 hrs ago #54
Respectfully disagree.. Joinfortmill 2 hrs ago #57
I remember when the #1 tune in the Republican Hymnal was: BurnDoubt 6 hrs ago #50
Nasty. Doodley 5 hrs ago #51
yes, VERY nasty voting for Donald Fucking Trump Skittles 3 hrs ago #55
Wow. Needed to be said. Joinfortmill 2 hrs ago #56
Outstanding. Should be used as a template by the rest of us in dealing with MAGA relations. Paladin 55 min ago #60
Very eloquent. mdbl 48 min ago #61

Dan

(4,776 posts)
1. Wow, I would steal that if I could. Except none of my relatives (that I know of) voted for Trump.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:14 PM
11 hrs ago

With the exception of older brother and he has money to burn.

Skittles

(165,501 posts)
4. just one correction
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:43 PM
10 hrs ago

she didn't just "bring it on herself"

people like her are responsible for the misery of SOOOOOO MANY PEOPLE

soldierant

(8,676 posts)
14. While that is true,
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:47 PM
9 hrs ago

it requires minimal empathy to grasp it. I doubt she has even a dmidgen.

DeeDeeNY

(3,743 posts)
6. You exactly hit all the pertinent points
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:52 PM
10 hrs ago

Voting to put Republicans in charge in both houses of congress after voting for Trump was inexcusable.

ancianita

(40,792 posts)
7. Amen amen! This is the kindest smackdown I've read. When one makes a
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 09:56 PM
10 hrs ago

free will choice one must accept the consequences because justice for others demands it. It's called learning the hard way.

erronis

(20,396 posts)
8. +++. I might have changed "Oh - and did you ever get your kid immunized?" to "neutered".
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:02 PM
10 hrs ago

Need to stop the breeding of these types.

In reality, the few RW people I know it's easy. I just stop responding or caring. Less stress on me and they only get pleasure from confrontation.

Skittles

(165,501 posts)
24. with all due respect
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:22 PM
9 hrs ago
FUCK THEM - they utterly fucking DISGRACED AMERICA - we'll be paying for the stupidity of Trump humpers for DECADES

Skittles

(165,501 posts)
26. my family CARES about people other than themselves
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:25 PM
9 hrs ago

they would NEVER vote for a fascist fuck like Donald Fucking Trump

GladysKravitz

(20 posts)
30. All I said was the poster should try to leave an opening for reconciliation with family members.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:36 PM
8 hrs ago

You came in all shitty.

dpibel

(3,606 posts)
40. "Poor decisions run in the family."
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 12:10 AM
8 hrs ago

That's not coming "in all shitty"?

Welcome to DU. I bet you'll have a great time here!

not fooled

(6,346 posts)
41. But that's the point
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 12:11 AM
8 hrs ago

I'm not trying to speak for Skittles but their point seems to me to be that these people have shown themselves to be incorrigible idiots, willfully voting to wreck the nation despite innumerable warnings, statements by the fascists, history, etc.

slightlv

(5,934 posts)
45. Im lucky in that we're all
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 01:22 AM
7 hrs ago

Democrats. I have an idea brother may vote R for some, but he's an Independent. Most of the time hw doesn't vote... at all. I told him once he should register as "Apathetic"... he had no idea what I meant.

Sis and I keep away from him with politics most of the time. When we do talk, she and I come unglued on him... he knows our opinions.

As it is we don't do family affairs especially not since losing mom in Jan. Sis and I are too worried and upset by life here and now and just trying to carry on. Bro just retired a few months ago and has a learning curve hes yet to travel.

But for others out there with maga family members, I don't begrudge them leaving no path to reconciliation. My opinion is there can be no reconciliation... we are too far past that fork in the road. I keep my bro at arms length so if we have to work together we can. Otherwise I have nothing to do with him. I secretly think he voted for Trump. I just don't want to confirm it. I've cut out former friends for it, and I know how I'd feel if I knew for sure. I'd rather just keep distance because I could never forgive him for contributing to this loss of everything, especially since his dad and I both served in the military to safeguard what we had... and he wouldn't even consider following in our footsteps. Dissed the military life. Yeah, for most of us, I think, the time for talk and reconciling is long gone. Now... I want the miscreants and bigots to pay and pay dearly. Someday, I hope to "pwn" a maga. I'm not a bad person I've just had enough of the crime cruelty and stupidity.

FoxNewsSucks

(11,167 posts)
36. Path to reconciliation???
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:40 PM
8 hrs ago

What rock have you been hiding under? They don't want "reconciliation". They want OUR DESTRUCTION.

Wake up!!!

still-prayin4rain

(306 posts)
47. My maga brother posts all over FB that he hopes all liberals' children die.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 01:28 AM
7 hrs ago

So, yeah, at least mine openly claims to want my destruction. You see the violence being inflicted on innocent people and cheered by them, right?

Pacifist Patriot

(25,022 posts)
59. I don't know about their family, but yes...
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 07:16 AM
1 hr ago

I have had Trump cult family flat out tell me I should be in a re-education camp or dead because I am a deluded libtard contributing to the downfall of America.

I wouldn't have bothered with the whole reply myself, but only because I wouldn't waste my time. But no chance in hell I will ever reconcile, I don't care how much DNA we share. FAFO

Response to GladysKravitz (Reply #9)

DET

(2,082 posts)
10. Good for You!
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:26 PM
10 hrs ago

It does no good to coddle these people. And it does no good to try to reason with them. The only way they seem to learn is by feeling the pain that their votes are inflicting on the rest of us.

Figarosmom

(6,531 posts)
11. Hope your cousin reflects on what you said
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:38 PM
9 hrs ago

Instead of just getting angry that it's a no.

It's kinder than I would have been I think.

Aussie105

(7,078 posts)
13. No need to get nasty, surely?
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:46 PM
9 hrs ago

Any request for money from relatives who I feel don't deserve it, gets met with stony silence.
Sometimes silence sends a strong message . . .

But it is a bit harsh.
Let's be honest, everyone assumed that:
1. The government exists for the people it is meant to serve.
2. Any benefits you have currently from government activity is sacrosanct, carved in stone, guaranteed forever.
3. There are 'people' out there freeloading off the government, and any crackdown is a 'good thing'.
(And of course you aren't one of them, right?)

Trump and his cabal of Pure Evil has turned all those things on its head, and it is FO part of the FAFO process.

I applaud people smart enough to realize this was going to happen under Trump before it happened, and i feel sorry for those who didn't and are now in shock because it is happening

Aussie105

(7,078 posts)
18. 'Needs to be told' falls on deaf ears.
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:04 PM
9 hrs ago

'Working it out for yourself' tends to stick much better.

Hopefully devoted MAGAts will work out the current situation for themselves and avoid the same thing next time they vote.

Skittles

(165,501 posts)
32. well they won't WORK IT OUT FOR THEMSELVES if you keep bailing them out
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:37 PM
8 hrs ago

let them see the consequences of their actions

FoxNewsSucks

(11,167 posts)
33. Really??????
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:38 PM
8 hrs ago

Well, when it comes to MAGAts, you can hope in one hand and shit in the other hand. See which fills up first.

Jesus..............

Skittles

(165,501 posts)
28. hard to feel sorry for people who wished misfortune on others
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:31 PM
8 hrs ago

but are boo hooing now because it affects THEM

UGH

not fooled

(6,346 posts)
42. Nope.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 12:15 AM
8 hrs ago

Maybe in 2016, but by now they've had ample evidence that red don and his cabal were out to do what they're doing now. These people CHOSE to ignore the overwhelming historical record and documented plans if red don got back in the WH, let alone with both houses of Congress.

ImNotGod

(807 posts)
22. I've turned my back on tRumpster family, forever. I may be forced to live in a shithole fascist country but luckily I
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:13 PM
9 hrs ago

can still pick and choose who I associate with.

Meadowoak

(6,515 posts)
38. I wouldn't either, but voting Trump is just a deal breaker
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:42 PM
8 hrs ago

For me. I lost two family members over it. And I'm fine with it. Both of them would be also calling me for help down the road, when things get bad. I've deleted them from Facebook and changed my phone number.

Joinfortmill

(18,370 posts)
58. It's a difficult choice. But these are not normal times.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 06:10 AM
2 hrs ago

Think Nazi Germany. We're in fascist land.

FuzzyRabbit

(2,166 posts)
39. I might have added
Mon Jun 30, 2025, 11:47 PM
8 hrs ago

that to start fixing things, next election don't vote for people who are destroying things, vote for people who will fix things -- vote for democrats.

Dem4life1970

(924 posts)
44. F.A.F.O. K & R
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 01:21 AM
7 hrs ago

It's like Trumpers are similar to fentanyl addicts. They want us to support their habit when they know it's bad for them and bad for everyone else. Well, we're not. We're done. Bail yourself out. I hate to be cold but sometimes you have to go cold turkey with certain people.

Abolishinist

(2,622 posts)
46. So well written, almost makes me wish I had a MAGAt family member
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 01:24 AM
7 hrs ago

just so I could send this to them! Fortunately I don't... they're all sane.

Grumpy Old Woman

(29 posts)
49. That just sounds mean
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 02:18 AM
6 hrs ago

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot - suppose you asked your rich uncle for help but he wouldn't help you because you are a Democrat?

I had the experience recently of having someone stop talking to me after they found out I took part in a "No Kings" protest -It is confusing to mw because i'm still the same person I've always been and share a lot of other interests with this person. Their loss, I guess.

You are hating on this person simply because you think she voted for the wrong person. That's silly, but it is also sad, because this kind of behavior is what is tearing our country apart.

Skittles

(165,501 posts)
54. LOL
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 05:11 AM
3 hrs ago

what is MEAN is voting for a POS who does REAL DAMAGE to SO MANY PEOPLE

these people were FINE with him hurting THOSE PEOPLE but they're up in arms when the harm comes to THEM

AND THEY disgraced America and tore it apart, NOT US

Joinfortmill

(18,370 posts)
57. Respectfully disagree..
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 06:06 AM
2 hrs ago

This is not about voting for a Democrat vs, a Republican. This is about voting for a fascist, an anti-democratic demigod, who told us what he was going to do. This is very much like Hitler, who built the concentration camps and began rounding up everyone he considered non Aryan. Trump is just persecuting another type of 'other'.

BurnDoubt

(725 posts)
50. I remember when the #1 tune in the Republican Hymnal was:
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 02:22 AM
6 hrs ago

"It's all about Choices!"
They can Suck On That!

Paladin

(30,875 posts)
60. Outstanding. Should be used as a template by the rest of us in dealing with MAGA relations.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 07:35 AM
55 min ago

trump's goons have declared war on us---they deserve the same in return.

mdbl

(6,789 posts)
61. Very eloquent.
Tue Jul 1, 2025, 07:41 AM
48 min ago

I have cut ties to any magats in my family without statement to them. Of course, no one has asked me for anything but I'll use your response as an example if they do.

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