Elderly Woman Keeps Mind Active Justifying Trump's Actions
LEXINGTON, KY—Stressing the importance of regularly performing mental gymnastics to prevent cognitive decline, local 80-year-old Edna Connolly confirmed Thursday that she keeps her mind active by justifying President Donald Trump’s actions.
“I try to break out of my routine and engage my mind by rationalizing what the president is doing, even when it’s completely against the promises he made to voters,” said Connolly, explaining that she spends at least 30 minutes a day improving her mental faculties and problem solving skills by making excuses for Trump’s constant attacks on civil liberties.
“I’m developing new neural pathways each time I shrug off Trump’s clear violations of the Constitution and his total contempt for our system of checks and balances. You know, I have some friends who didn’t spend time rationalizing Trump’s actions, and they ended up in nursing homes.”
At press time, Connolly was reportedly stimulating her creativity by justifying the president’s decision to reverse course on releasing the Epstein files.
https://theonion.com/elderly-woman-keeps-mind-active-justifying-trumps-actions/
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