I had an experience last night that left me questioning myself.

[1WorldHope]

I called my step brother, who I adore, because I knew he would appreciate the South Park episode. But he has become a hermit. He doesn't have or use the Internet, no cable TV, and he moved back to the tiny town he was born in. He appreciated the humor but as I was trying to think of some way he could see it himself and how much humor he is missing I should have noticed his tone change. But no, I kept talking, assuming that because he can see what an ass the orange Nazi is that he must agree with my politics. I spoke about the people who don't vote at all and made the comment that some ppl have written them off, but my view is more, it's ok you were wrong but yay now you see the light. He said he has never voted, (I didn't realize that) and that it doesn't matter which side wins the outcome is the same. I started to argue that most times that probably had been pretty true. But not this time. This time he was going to completely destroy every program and service we have worked for. He said it didn't matter and he was tired and wanted to hang up. Which we did. I felt like such an asshole for not reading the room better. I started to question myself. Am I just the polar opposite of MAGA but equally as off putting? Am I a sucker for spending all of my time worrying over how to stop the orange one? It has taken over way too much time in my life. I feel like we are in a war for democracy, at the same time feeling helpless to stop it. Am I the fool who can't see the light? Could I just forget it all and go on with my life as if there was nothing I can do to change anything and find a damn hobby? Does anyone else ever feel this way?

[TexLaProgressive]

1. I don't think you're in a liberal cult

I've had discussions with the non-voters and it just seems like a waste of breath and energy. Don't write him off, there's other reasons to stay in touch

[1WorldHope]

6. He did sound a little depressed right when we started.

But naturally he wouldn't talk about it. Thanks for the support. I think I have gotten so high from being at protests where everyone is angry about the same thing and everything you say the people around you agree with. I wonder if that is how it feels to live in a blue state.

[bearsfootball516]

2. Strike a balance between fighting back, and doing non-political related things so you don't burn out.

I volunteer with the county Democratic party, do postcards to swing states, and a few other things.

I also try to ride my bike at least a few times per week, and I'm active in a local book club.

I've found when I devote myself to politics 24/7, it burns me out. Having a balance is important.

[1WorldHope]

8. Yes. Balance is the key. And reading the room.

I'll take the dogs for a walk. The weather has been unbearable and we have been walking less. I'm gonna suck it up and go out there and start sweating for the day.

[bearsfootball516]

12. I live in Northern Indiana and the afternoons have been miserable.

I can't be outside for more than a few minutes without feeling like I'm melting.

[1WorldHope]

13. And going outside really is the key to feeling better.

[mjvpi]

3. All the time. But like you, I was raised with empathy and love. What's happening now is polluting the human spirit.

Never stop shining the light on these ratfuckers.

[1WorldHope]

9. Thank you for your empathy! I should have more for myself.

Rat FUCKERS 🤭☺️

[CrispyQ]

4. First, a big virtual hug to you. And second, I worry too, that I come across that way sometimes.

But then I remember that in my country, people are being wrongfully detained & held in inhumane conditions & I figure if people are offended that I'm pointing this out & that it bothers me, then boofuckinghoo. There is also that meme that says if you can disregard politics because you don't think it makes a difference or that both sides are the same, then you have privilege you're not aware of. Or something like that.

I do try to balance some of my social media with nonpolitical stuff, so maybe next time discuss something else. Like weather & how the repubs aren't doing anything about climate change. Joking.

[1WorldHope]

5. I felt your virtual hug immediately.

Balance is the key. It's the key to everything really. Thanks for your support and I will keep reminding myself to keep politics, money and religion out of my conversations.

[pandr32]

7. It sounds as though you did not know your stepbrother as well as you thought.

We all tend to make assumptions about others. Those assumptions are like popping bubbles as our relationships go forward and we have experiences like you described. You found out someone you valued doesn't hold the same values as you do. In fact, it sounds as though he only deals with social and political issues at the surface/basic level--it's easier for him to go about his daily life that way. In fact--he has made a hermit of himself.
Let him be and don't beat yourself up. There are good people out there who are aware and resisting. You are not alone.

[1WorldHope]

10. Ahh, not alone, that sounds good.

Thank you for taking the time to comment. This has helped.

[yardwork]

11. I don't think you did anything wrong.

It sounds like your stepbrother has made some significant lifestyle changes. You perceive it as becoming a hermit - and maybe that's true - but maybe he sees it a different way.

We are going through a time of massive upheaval and uncertainty. A lot of things we counted on are gone. And with climate change, there are big challenges to come.

I advise that we all try to take care of ourselves and the people we love. You love your stepbrother, so maybe find conversation topics that you both will enjoy.

For you, maybe try to take breaks from the news and worrying about what will happen next. Hang out with people you like and don't talk about politics. Have fun. Laugh.

This is going to be a lifelong marathon for all of us. Might as well try to enjoy the ride.

(I give myself this advice all the time. I don't always listen! )

[1WorldHope]

14. As my grandpa always said, "Ain't it the truth."

[yardwork]

15. Our grandparents lived through some things.

I think of my mom's parents. A first-generation U.S. immigrant who didn't speak English until he went to school, childhood helping gangsters smuggle liquor during Prohibition, shotgun marriage to the farmer's daughter when she was 17, parent of three little children during the Depression and WWII, never was a happy marriage, they got divorced in their 70s.

OTOH, grandpa missed having to serve in any war and he did ok financially. Moved to the Bay Area in California in the 50s and enjoyed the sunshine, pool in his backyard, and he loved his orange tree on the patio.

His life arc moved from scarcity and poverty to economic expansion and a secure upper middle class life.

Our kids and grandkids are experiencing the downside of that arc but honestly, who knows what will happen? Could just as easily turn out to be surprisingly good, I guess.

[usonian]

16. Politics became "personality politics" then "identity politics" and then "cult politics" Thank RW hate media.

This kinda sums it up.



What we are seeing lately is one of the cult escape mechanisms, albeit few mechanisms and few escapees, a feeling of betrayal by the leader.

Mind you, it's all bogus. They expected the Epstein affair to be global pizzagate, with "libs" running the abduction rings and drinking blood or whatever the cult was selling. So, it's amazing that they feel betrayed when such (imaginary) evidence is withheld.

And I am sure that the AI machine is busy altering all of it right now, but that is kind of obvious, given the Johnson delaying tactic.

Before I ramble, understand that it's a cult and even skilled therapists take years to un-f**k cult members, and usually only when they choose to be treated. Otherwise, IT'S ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT, an insane amount of projection, but that's how cults work.

GOOD LUCK.
Associate with like-minded, caring people.
You know, adults on airplanes are asked to grab the oxygen mask first.
You can't help anyone when you're in a lowered state of health and mind.

People here care.

[H2O Man]

17. No.

I've never felt that way.

[haele]

18. No, you don't belong to a cult. You're just still fighting.

Others just "gave up". They're disengaged.
They want to control their own reality, and they refuse, sometimes viscerally, to even think that they may need to pay any attention to or prepare for things that are outside the bubble they've built themselves.
They've allowed themselves to be consumers, not citizens, because it's emotionally easier for them to lose as part of the masses than to try to believe in something as an individual and take personal responsibility to fight for it.
It's sad and more than a bit cynical, but the more people who give up and just go with the flow make it harder on those who still want to live.

[1WorldHope]

23. I used to feel like he does. That our vote didn't matter.

We grew up watching the flag draped caskets coming home. I started to get more involved when I married my husband who had a BS in political science. The more I learned about government the more I felt my involvement was a duty and not a choice.

[hlthe2b]

19. I do have feelings like that... If I had all the $$$ needed to travel the next four years and tune out, boy would

I be tempted. But, I'd likewise feel guilty and anxious, and.... So...

[1WorldHope]

21. I would feel the same. Being retired gives me way too much time to think.

My step brother is a sad clown. He grew up Catholic, full on parochial schools. He never married, got his heart broken by maybe 2 girls, then just gave up on people. You have to sneak up on him to spend time with him. If he knows you're coming he leaves home. He is like a deer, enjoy from afar.

[hunter]

20. If he doesn't have internet or cable television...

... maybe he knows he'd get sucked into the MAGA cult, like an alcoholic who knows if he has one beer he'll drink a dozen.

Not voting is still better than voting Republican, whatever reasons your stepbrother uses to justify that to himself. I think more Republicans ought to be discouraged from voting.

[ananda]

22. You have learned a valuable lesson.

You can't change the mind of a cult member simply
by talking.

For cultists, talking is a trigger. It sets them off and
makes them worse.

My tactic is to never engage i conversation with them
on any level other than a friendly greeting. After that,
we're through talking.

[Warpy]

24. Conservatives are wired differently from those of us on the left

Study after study, whether long term studies going from childhood through adulthood to widespread studies of adults have shown this again and again. They think differently, so differently I've often wondered if the human genus is getting ready for one of its frequent splits again.

There is nothing you can do to change the thinking patterns, they're set into stone, er, neurons. What you can do is inject a little doubt around the edges over the motivation of men who are telling them obvious and outrageous lies. You can also realize they are differently wired and accept them for who and what they are. Oh, if they're total shits you get to avoid them but most are muddling along and trying to make the best of things just like we are.

So there's your bottom line, basically, and all you can do to change it is in how you choose to cope with it. However, you're halfway to being able to deal with it effectively because you've managed to grasp how the other side thinks and feels. That's a massive first step.

[bif]

25. At least you're still talking

I had a weird experience with an old friend. For some reason, he decided we were no longer friends. (I'll keep this short). We hadn't talked in several years. So I gave him a call and he said, "I don't want to talk to you." I asked him if I did something wrong and could we discuss this and this was his response: "When we hang up, it's the last time I ever want to hear from you." Needless to say I was shocked. I don't think it was politics. Just have no idea what I did wrong.

Anyway, glad you're still on speaking terms. Don't beat yourself up about it.

[1WorldHope]

29. Ow.

Some people throw away relationships a lot easier than I do. My first husband and I were separated for 7 years before we got the divorce.

[chia]

26. You had the mental clarity and humility to question yourself. That's increasingly rare.

You sound like a good person. Because of that, I think in your own time, you'll work your way through this. Figure out what you've learned, how you might approach him (or others like him) in future, and check and recheck your own ideas (also a rarity these days). Wishing you well.

[1WorldHope]

30. How kind. Thank you.

✌🏼

[mikewv]

27. Everyday! nm

nm

[MorbidButterflyTat]

28. Why is this about you?

"I called my step brother, ... he has become a hermit. He doesn't have or use the Internet, no cable TV, and he moved back to the tiny town he was born in. ...I should have noticed his tone change. But no, I kept talking... He said he has never voted...and that it doesn't matter which side wins the outcome is the same. He said it didn't matter and he was tired and wanted to hang up."



If you really adore your step-brother, you might consider him and recognize that he sounds very depressed and may need help.

[1WorldHope]

31. Thank you for your concern.

I'll keep that in mind.