Kristi Noem's embarrassing 'mystery bag' to blame for midair meltdown: report

[LetMyPeopleVote]

What does Noem have in this bag?

Were Corey Lewandowski's 'toys for boys' in the bag?

Kristi Noem's embarrassing 'mystery bag' to blame for midair meltdown: report www.rawstory.com/kristi-noem-...

— (@geolsteve.bsky.social) 2026-02-25T17:59:11.147Z

https://www.rawstory.com/kristi-noem-2675333230/

New, potentially embarrassing details have emerged about a midair incident involving Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem and her senior adviser Corey Lewandowski.

According to published reports, Lewandowski fired – but then quickly rehired – a Coast Guard pilot after he refused to turn a plane around to retrieve Noem's weighted blanket from another plane, but three DHS insiders told the Daily Mail that the item that had been left behind was actually the agency head's bag.

"This was never about a blanket," said one insider with knowledge of the incident. "The blanket was a cover story for what really happened. The whole thing was really about the bag that was left."

It's not clear what was in the bag, but sources told the Daily Mail that Lewandowski, who is rumored to be having an affair with Noem, learned that at least two people were aware of the contents and that this could be embarrassing – and the news outlet speculated those two individuals were promoted afterward.

"Was it a mere coincidence then, that [Coast Guard commanding officer Keith] Thomas – who, weeks earlier, had been fired as a pilot – was promoted to become a DHS senior advisor, and the aide close to Noem on the trip, Kamryn Jones, 38, was also rewarded?" the outlet's correspondents wondered.

[RockRaven]

1. Booze, drugs, sex toys, communication devices for contacting handlers in hostile foreign intelligence services?

[Ocelot II]

2. That was my guess as well.

[jmbar2]

3. Her spare face, wigs, and eyelashes?

[Skittles]

4. this gal who cannot keep track of her bags....

is head of Homeland Fucking Security

[Autumn]

5. A double headed dildo would be my guess.

[FoxNewsSucks]

9. I could excuse a little pegging between consenting cheaters,

if they weren't such fucking hypocrites about what other people like to do.

[kimbutgar]

6. I wonder who has that bag now?

They should auction it and sell to highest bidder !

[Gaugamela]

7. She lost her purse at a restaurant in April:

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s bag, including $3,000 in cash, is stolen from DC

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem fell victim to a thief while eating dinner at a downtown Washington, DC, restaurant Sunday night, the secretary confirmed Monday.

Noem, who was asked about the theft at the White House Easter Egg Roll, acknowledged the incident and said the matter has not been resolved.

The Secret Service, which provides security for Noem, reviewed security camera footage at the Capital Burger restaurant and saw an unknown White male wearing a medical mask steal her bag and leave the restaurant, a law enforcement source said.

The thief got away with Noem’s driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/21/politics/homeland-security-kristi-noem-purse-stolen

[Straw Man]

10. OK, I'm going to go out on a limb here ...

... but I believe there is no legitimate reason, in this day and age, for a person to be carrying $3000 in cash. Unless they're making a bank run for a cash-only business, that is.

[Gaugamela]

11. Totally agree. Especially a cabinet member. That kind of cash is good for

purchasing illicit substances that you wouldn’t want to leave behind in a bag on a plane.

[DFW]

8. I'm not speculating as to what was in the bag

But I’m betting that there were no live dogs within a 500 yard radius….

[LetMyPeopleVote]

12. This was never about a blanket

[Vinca]

13. Let me guess. Sex toys, body oil and a nurse's uniform.

[Mz Pip]

14. Dominatrix outfit?

She does like her cosplay.

[Zorro]

15. It was her copy of James Joyce's Ulysses

She likes to read it after a stressful day.

[jmowreader]

16. We can make jokes about Ms. Noem's sexual appetites, but this worries me greatly

"Losing purses" and "leaving bags behind" are the hallmarks of "brush passes" that spies have long used to give secrets to their handlers. The traditional brush pass was where you brushed up against your handler and stuffed the secrets into his or her pocket. But, y'know, that looks suspicious so many spies will put the secrets in a bag and leave the bag somewhere their handlers can find it.

If that's what's happening, Ms. Noem is (1) in need of the rest of her life in a cage alongside the orange asshole who stuck her in a job that gave her access to secrets, and (2) the shittiest spy there's ever been, like Boris Badenov-level terrible. The main reason I can see why she demanded to go back for this bag is she realized someone would find it and if they did the world would collapse on her head.