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The Borowitz Report-High Jet Fuel Cost Forces King to Visit US Remotely
High Jet Fuel Cost Forces King to Visit US Remotely
— eugene (@eugene290390.bsky.social) 2026-04-26T22:17:15.995Z
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/high-jet-fuel-cost-forces-king-to
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an eleventh-hour change of plans, King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Sunday evening that rising jet fuel costs had forced him to visit the US remotely.
“The energy crisis caused by the Strait of Hormuz’s closure has made air travel too rich for my blood,” Charles told reporters. “I had been looking forward to many delightful hours in the company of the scintillating Donald Trump, but my hands are tied.”
Allaying concerns about the last-minute switch of his visit from in-person to remote, the monarch revealed, “I’ve gotten pretty good at using Zoom—especially the mute feature.”
Asked if he had a message he planned to deliver to Trump, Charles said, “He can start all the wars he wants, but the Epstein mess won’t go away—just ask my idiot brother.”
“The energy crisis caused by the Strait of Hormuz’s closure has made air travel too rich for my blood,” Charles told reporters. “I had been looking forward to many delightful hours in the company of the scintillating Donald Trump, but my hands are tied.”
Allaying concerns about the last-minute switch of his visit from in-person to remote, the monarch revealed, “I’ve gotten pretty good at using Zoom—especially the mute feature.”
Asked if he had a message he planned to deliver to Trump, Charles said, “He can start all the wars he wants, but the Epstein mess won’t go away—just ask my idiot brother.”