President Escalates War Of Words Against Fictional Dog

[dweller]

https://theonion.com/trump-ratchets-up-rhetoric-against-snoopy/

May 4, 2026
WASHINGTON—In what political analysts have called a “major escalation” in the commander-in-chief’s antagonism toward the cultural icon, President Donald Trump made a number of public comments this week dramatically ratcheting up his rhetoric against Snoopy.

At an event honoring Gold Star families Friday, Trump reportedly deviated from his prepared remarks to criticize the cartoon beagle from Charles M. Schulz’s long-running Peanuts comic strip, calling him a “disgusting floppy-eared loser” and “Stupid Snoopy.” The digression followed several similar incidents during meetings with foreign heads of state, as well as a spate of late-night Truth Social posts in which he called Snoopy “an enemy of the people” and shared an AI-generated video that depicted Trump having Snoopy euthanized at a veterinary office.

“It’s frankly terrible what Snoopy has been doing to Americans like Linus in terms of his blanket, and the United States will not hesitate to pursue a powerful response if Snoopy continues down this dangerous path,” Trump said during his speech to the families of fallen U.S. military service members, stating that President Joe Biden had failed to crack down on Snoopy for dancing on top of American pianos. “I got a letter, a beautiful letter from a farmer, and he said, ‘Sir, Snoopy is using our typewriters to spread woke, and you can’t let him get away with it,’ so currently we’re leaning towards the military option with Snoopy.”

“We might even have to do nuclear, but I hope it doesn’t come to that,” added Trump, who remained evasive when pressed by reporters later on whether his actions against Snoopy would abide by international law, saying only, “We’ll see.



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[Diamond_Dog]

1. It's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between truth and The Onion.

[rubbersole]

3. This can't be real.

Even Stephen Miller wouldn't let him post this insane shit.

[Goonch]

2. ;-{) SNOOPY'S REBUTTAL

[riversedge]

4. good one!!-Run, Donny, Run!!

[LudwigPastorius]

5. Good grief, what a blockhead!