How am I supposed to make satire when headlines like this are real 😭

[riversedge]

How am I supposed to make satire when headlines like this are real 😭

Link to tweet

?s=20

Link to tweet

?s=20

[Girard442]

1. That's not a toon of a golden calf.

It's some udder picture.

[Kid Berwyn]

2. Worshipping Fake Goldbrick is sad.

Scratch the paint and underneath it’s lead.

[magicarpet]

4. .... how come it smells like,....

..... gold plated dog turds ?

[Kid Berwyn]

9. Because Trump IS a gold-plated dog turd.

[magicarpet]

10. Like your Nazi picture line up,...

.... better than the Hogan's Heroes - German gang..

[Norrrm]

3. Worship golden idol Trump

[usonian]

5. Goldbrick.

noun A person, especially a soldier, who avoids assigned duties or work; a shirker.

intransitive verb To shirk one's assigned duties or responsibilities.

intransitive verb To cheat; swindle.

[JohnnyRingo]

6. I had to look this one up.

It's so absurd I had to confirm it.
Even if they believed what they said later every one of them knew what it looked like.
Every one of them knew they were praying before a golden idol in the form of a mortal they consider to be the Second Coming.

Along with the truth, we've seen an end to shame in the Trump era.

[Just Jerome]

7. Forgive them, Father,

for they know not even how the fuck to tie their shoes.

[magicarpet]

11. ... or wipe their own bum bums.....

... they hire some immigrant to do it for them,..

.... Then quickly deport them - to save face - that they could be so incredibly incompetent as to handle the task themselves. Without getting shit all over their fingers, their palms, the walls, the toilet seat, the cover, the chrome flush handle, the porcelain hopper, and the wall to wall carpet out in the hall and into the next room. Like a poop party took place.

It is no wonder they all wear adult diapers. But at least the smell of shit is then localized - instead of smeared about all of creation.

[paleotn]

8. One of life's great maxims.

There are people out there who will believe and worship virtually anything. In this case, a gold spray painted, fully loaded Depends that's somehow going to save them from brown people and make hating OK again. To this day I cannot wrap my head around the attraction. Getting back at the smarty pants elites? Well, it only confirms what those elites thought of them to start with.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

12. "It's not a golden idol forbidden by the Lord because we're not in a cult, y'all!"

"It's not a golden idol forbidden by the Lord because we're not in a cult, y'all!"

— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@mrsbettybowers.bsky.social) 2026-05-09T16:27:32.465Z

👇old meme i 1st posted over a year ago🐸

— Rhymers gonna RibbityRhyme🐸 (@rhymer29.bsky.social) 2026-05-09T16:32:14.397Z

[lame54]

13. Moses, where are you?

[muriel_volestrangler]

14. Fred Clark of Slacktivist points out another biblical passage

Daniel 3:1-7

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, sixty cubits high and six cubits wide, and set it up on the plain of Dura in the province of Babylon. He then summoned the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials to come to the dedication of the image he had set up. So the satraps, prefects, governors, advisers, treasurers, judges, magistrates and all the other provincial officials assembled for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up, and they stood before it.

Then the herald loudly proclaimed, “Nations and peoples of every language, this is what you are commanded to do: As soon as you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipe and all kinds of music, you must fall down and worship the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace.”

Therefore, as soon as they heard the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp and all kinds of music, all the nations and peoples of every language fell down and worshiped the image of gold that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2026/05/10/sunday-reading-45/