The Borowitz Report: Nation Rocked by Jarring Spectacle of Republican Showing Respect for Constitution

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/nation-rocked-by-jarring-spectacle

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans were gobsmacked on Tuesday upon hearing that a prominent Republican official had shown respect for the United States Constitution.

Across the country, U.S. residents expressed shock and disbelief that a member of the GOP had openly validated the rule of law.

“At first I thought it was a hoax,” said one American, echoing the views of many. “Then I was like, maybe it’s a different John Roberts? It’s a pretty common name.”

At the White House, a furious Donald J. Trump said that the Constitution “isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on,” noting, "When I was stealing documents I never even considered taking it." In his harshest rebuke of the 238-year-old document, he alleged, “The Constitution has treated me very unfairly.”

- short article, no more at link -

[Aristus]

1. That expression screams: "Oh shit! We're all fucked!"

Yeah, thanks to you, dickhead. You should be sent up the river for treason and sedition. Maybe if you plead your case in court, you can get the charge knocked down to judicial misconduct.