The Perception Paradox: Men Who Hate Feminists Think Feminists Hate Men

[niyad]

The Perception Paradox: Men Who Hate Feminists Think Feminists Hate Men
PUBLISHED 4/11/2024 by Amber Wardell
Feminists, on the whole, don’t hate men. We hate sexism and sexist oppression. After all, men are harmed by patriarchy, too.



The perception that feminism is motivated by anti-male sentiment, or misandry, has been used to delegitimize and discredit the movement, has deterred women from joining it, and motivated men to oppose it, sometimes with violence. (Maskot / Getty Images)

The “feminists are man-haters” trope is getting old. For far too long, opponents of feminism have claimed that our movement is rooted in misandry—the prejudice, contempt or hatred against men. Men who have not bothered to educate themselves about what feminism stands for declare loudly and proudly that, if possible, feminist women would subjugate men, destabilize civilization, and summon forth the end of humanity. Until recently, refuting these claims has proven difficult. After all, every feminist-hating man has an anecdotal story of “that one feminist” he knows who definitively hates men. Thankfully, contemporary research has finally given us real, irrefutable evidence that feminists do not, in fact, despise men. A 2023 study measured levels of hostility toward men among feminists, non-feminists and other men. Interestingly, across six experiments conducted in nine nations and almost 10,000 participants, the results revealed that feminist women show no more hostility toward men than both non-feminists and other men. It turns out that just about everyone, including men, has a fair amount of hostility toward men.


Feminists Won’t Coddle Men’s Egos

Something that stood out in the results of the study is that although feminist women appear to have no more hostility toward men than non-feminist women, they are significantly less likely to be benevolent toward men. Whereas non-feminist women are likely to excuse or ignore men’s bad behavior toward women, feminist women will, more often than not, call it out. They will not pull their punches to spare men’s egos. They expect much from men, and will hold them accountable to the behavior they know men are capable of.And it appears that this is where the man-hating feminist trope has its roots.



. . . . .

But the existence of some feminists who hate men does not prove that all feminists hate men. In fact, although feminism is a movement that seeks to center women’s equality and liberation, it has also done much for the liberation of men. After all, men are harmed by patriarchy, too, and feminists seek to abolish all forms of gender-based discrimination that are propped up by patriarchy. Establishing gender-based equality has clear benefits for men. For example, feminists seek family court reform (where things like custody, child support and alimony are determined) because family courts often engage in gender-based stereotypes that are harmful to both mothers and fathers. Mothers may end up with close to full-custody, leaving them responsible for the heavy lifting of parenting, while fathers end up missing out on the majority of their kids’ lives. Feminists also advocate for men’s mental health, believing that patriarchal structures that depict men as weak or “unmanly” if they need help with their mental health are actively harming men (and, as a result, also harming women).


The Mismatch of Perception and Realty

Although feminists will likely never center men in their work, they see men as their partners (but not co-equals) in gender-based oppression. They seek to improve civilization for both men and women by abolishing patriarchy and sexist oppression. In that work, they will often come across entitled, angry men who despise women generally and feminists specifically. When that happens, they will likely choose to go toe to toe with those men, refusing to coddle their egos and addressing their bad behavior instead. Rather than using this feedback as an invitation to challenge their beliefs and join us in the fight to end sexist oppression together, those men will decide to call those feminists man-haters. In reality, it is far more likely that those men simply hate women. They may never change their views about women. But for the many women around the world who choose not to identify with feminism because a man who hates women told them that feminists hate men, we need to correct the perception problem. Feminists, on the whole, don’t hate men. We hate sexism and sexist oppression, and we will not mollify, excuse or enable any man who chooses to uphold them.

https://msmagazine.com/2024/04/11/feminists-hate-men/

[dlk]

1. Projection, Republicans excel in it

Feminism is merely about treating women fairly. For the men who are against it, they need to look inward to see why it's a problem for them, and what they are so afraid of. Their anger and hatred is based on their fears. Blaming women is just another variation of victim-blaming and these guys need to grow up.

[Skittles]

2. REAL men are not afraid of women

THEY STAND WITH US