Elise Stefanik Cancels The Drapes
Okay, fine, cancel the fucking drapes!
Cancel all the furniture, too. The custom-built teakwood desk. The executive chair. The plush deep-pile carpeting. Cancel the fucking Telluride couches and the fucking Herman Miller coffee table and the fucking tasteful Waterford crystal vase I was going to fill with flowers and place on the fucking Maitland Smith end piece in a way that said classy and warm and inviting, but not too inviting because I don’t want Denmark’s ambassador to be that comfortable when I’m bullying his country full of smørrebrød-gobbling, sun-deprived Nordic freaks to sign over Greenland. I obviously don’t need to furnish the corner sitting area of my luxurious UN office when there isn’t going to be an office.
Christ! I was such a compliant lickspittle for years. I praised Dear Leader, I sucked up, I deified him to a degree that would have embarrassed Baron Harkonnen’s courtiers! I was a one-woman dervish of supineness. So many people lost any ounce of respect they might have ever had for me. Quite a few of my old classmates and teachers went public, telling reporters what a disappointment I turned out to be. I was fucking pathetic! And look where it got me!
I’m sorry, honey, you’re right, Mommy knows better than to use the bad words. It’s just that I’m so mad right now. It’s a hard pill to swallow, and I really don’t care if I’m disturbing our Mommy and Me yoga class.
I mean, I even out-lickspittled Lindsey Graham, and that son of a bitch is a lickspittle’s lickspittle.
https://www.wonkette.com/p/elise-stefanik-cancels-the-drapes
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