The Borowitz Report: The Best Thing That Happened in 2025

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/the-best-news-of-2025
Its enough to make even the most ardent atheist reconsider things.
Let me start by saying something nice about Elise Stefanik: She went to Harvard. Then again, so did the Unabomber. You might think its unfair to compare Stefanik to the Unabomber, and it isto the Unabomber. For all his flaws, he was way more ideologically consistent than Stefanik.
There really are two Elise Stefaniks: Original Recipe and Extra Crazy.
Original Recipe Stefanik was first elected to Congress in 2014, when she was often referred to as a moderate Republican. Nowadays, moderate Republican means anyone to the left of Heinrich Himmler. But back then, before the extinction-level event known as Donald Trump, there were still some House Republicans who could pass as rational beings. Stefanik belonged to her partys centrist Tuesday Group and was ranked by Georgetowns Lugar Center as one of the Houses most bipartisan members. (At the time, she touted both distinctions; today, each has been deleted from her congressional website like an embarrassing ex cropped out of a profile pic.)
During the 2016 presidential campaign, Stefanik continued to exhibit signs of sanity. She supported the candidacy of someone with government experience Ohio Governor John Kasich and criticized the foreign policy knowledge of the former reality show host running against him. In October 2016, she said of Trump, His statements regarding NATO, his statements regarding Putin, regarding some of the positions in regards to Iraq that he made, regarding the oil fields I absolutely oppose those.
But one month later, Trump won including in her upstate New York district, which had gone for Obama twice. And so began the congresswomans rapid devolution into a Donald Trump tribute act.
This is such a great write-up on the spinning-flop career of Elise Stefanik. Please read the rest on The Borowitz Report.
I particularly love Andy's descriptions of all the about-faces she did once Chump was installed in the White House... to the detriment of her own voters in Upstate New York. Stefanik finally has learned the value of a Chump "endorsement" - it's not only completely worthless but also totally unreliable.
PatSeg
(51,966 posts)That even Trump can't stand her. She's definitely not his type.
calimary
(88,861 posts)I dont know much about her, but its tempting to suspect that she resents not having gotten much - um - attention from him.
Just a guess.
PatSeg
(51,966 posts)I think we all knew people like her in school or the workplace. She is hyper ambitious and will do or say anything to get ahead. That fact that she went from moderate to full-on MAGA pretty much tells us everything we need to know about her.
Add to that the fact that she has the charisma of a sewer rat, I am surprised she has gone as far as she has.
calimary
(88,861 posts)I will LOVE LOVE LOVE quoting that!
Theres gotta be an award for that one! A glittering, star-studded award ceremony for that one!
PatSeg
(51,966 posts)"the charisma of a damp dish rag", but I felt it was a bit too understated.
patphil
(8,670 posts)It always bothered me to see someone as bad as Elise Stefanik representing that district in the House.
I always felt she was representing herself instead of the district...definitely looking for a way upward all the time.
So, we have one more year of her, and then she's gone.
I like how that feels each time I think or say it.
johnnyplankton
(596 posts)It spread like wildfire through the Republican party in 2016 and has reached epidemic proportions in 2025.