Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

The DU Lounge

mahatmakanejeeves

(63,988 posts) Wed Mar 26, 2025, 09:41 AM Mar 26

Star BYU Player Suspended After Testing Positive For Coffee

The Onion
‪@theonion.com‬

Follow
Star BYU Player Suspended After Testing Positive For Coffee
https://theonion.com/star-byu-player-suspended-after-testing-positive-for-coffee/
Star BYU Player Suspended After Testing Positive For Coffee
ALT
March 25, 2025 at 3:00 PM

https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com/post/3ll7xf56ik42o

5 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Star BYU Player Suspended After Testing Positive For Coffee (Original Post) mahatmakanejeeves Mar 26 OP

I'd be kicked off the team this morning. BOSSHOG Mar 26 #1

Took me way too long to get the joke. boonecreek Mar 26 #2

Actually, Mormons are anti-coffee or other stimulants... Wounded Bear Mar 26 #3

Sure they are.... Redleg Mar 26 #5

😆😆😆😆 underpants Mar 26 #4

BOSSHOG

(41,804 posts)

1. I'd be kicked off the team this morning.

Reply to mahatmakanejeeves (Original post)

Wed Mar 26, 2025, 09:45 AM

Mar 26

boonecreek

(821 posts)

2. Took me way too long to get the joke.

Reply to mahatmakanejeeves (Original post)

Wed Mar 26, 2025, 09:58 AM

Mar 26

Wounded Bear

(61,653 posts)

3. Actually, Mormons are anti-coffee or other stimulants...

Reply to mahatmakanejeeves (Original post)

Wed Mar 26, 2025, 10:04 AM

Mar 26

though I doubt they'd do that.

Redleg

(6,419 posts)

5. Sure they are....

Reply to Wounded Bear (Reply #3)

Wed Mar 26, 2025, 10:30 AM

Mar 26

I grew up in Utah and nearly every Mormon I knew drank caffeinated sodas. Not many drank coffee, that's true, but soda was quite popular. The rumor was that the LDS Church owned all or port of the of the Coca Cola bottling franchises in Utah, thus making cola okay.

Note that I am not saying these things to denigrate Mormons. I couldn't care less if some of them drink soda.

underpants

(189,686 posts)

4. 😆😆😆😆

Reply to mahatmakanejeeves (Original post)

Wed Mar 26, 2025, 10:21 AM

Mar 26

Reply to this discussion