Growing Up Sideways In The Straight And Narrow South

[Are_grits_groceries]

Growing Up Sideways In The Straight and Narrow South

Growing up in the South can be an odd and peculiar experience. You don't realize how odd until you venture into other places and meet other people. When you are kids, you may think everybody has the same experiences. Hell, I know adults who believe that.

Imagine my shock when I found out that people didn't know all the battles of 'The Late Unpleasantness' in order and details of the generals’ lives. Didn't everybody have a picture of General Robert E. Lee hanging with all the family pictures. We called him Uncle Bobby for years.

Then there was CHURCH. We had to go to church no matter where we were. For as long as I can remember, I never liked church or any of it's auxiliary activities. I didn't want to be wearing a dress and listening to somebody wail about going to hell if I wasn't good. I figured my place in the Netherworld had been booked for a long time. There wasn't anyway around that. I didn't worry about the afterlife and decided to get my money's worth if I was spending eternity in the tropics.

I wasn't the typical Southern child to say the least. There was a five of us who spent a lot of time growing up together, and none of us conformed to the local norms. We got a good dose of church and local mores, but we never quite stayed in line or kept the right step. Our parents tried, but they wondered if we were changelings.

There were two major factors that moved us away from those norms when we were little. First of all, there was an independent streak in the family. We had a few rebellious role models. The second thing that lead us further astray was 'Mad' magazine. There was little or no access to a variety of views growing up. Rocky and Bullwinkle were great teevee models. Mr. Bunny Rabbit on the Captain Kangaroo was a budding rebel. Beyond that, we were on our on.

Our parents did vary from many in that they bought comic books for us, and they assumed that 'Mad' was just a larger type. Little did they know that it was a veritable gold mine for wayward youths. We learned Phd level snark and mockery from 'Mad'. Nothing was sacred, and that was fine with us. That magazine looked at the world sideways, and we adjusted our sight lines accordingly. They stayed that way.

The five of us were a tribe of independents within a culture of lockstep belief. As soon as we got out from under our parents, we never set foot in church again. We didn't openly rebel earlier against going because it wasn't worth the hassle. We went and listened to the rhetoric and compared it to reality. That honed our sharp view of religion. Our attitude toward it is quite jaundiced.

It is the Bible Belt, but a belt can only support so much.

[Easterncedar]

1. Great title. Sideways on the straight and narrow.

Coincidentally, NPR had a brief discussion yesterday with three commentators about how their evangelical parents guarded them as kids from the disturbing influences of movies and tv. They had all outgrown the control in different ways, but appreciated that their parents had good, if poorly informed and sometimes hilariously misguided, intentions . The gay “movie queen,” as he put it, said his parents actually came around to acceptance of his world.

[Are_grits_groceries]

2. Evangelicals

My parents weren’t evangelicals. Most of my relatives weren’t. They didn't have a ton of rules and we weren’t beaten over the head with the Bible. We had to go to church though. I got a good dose of a variety of views.

I was lucky in another way. My parents did not rant and rave about minorities and their place in society. We were not allowed to say the N word or other negative terms. I had an aunt who taught history and she would correct those within her hearing when we were wrong. I had other relatives that were racist and used all manner of nasty phrases. It was jarring. I am more than grateful to my parents for this.

[KatyaR]

3. "Mr. Bunny Rabbit on the Captain Kangaroo was a budding rebel."

Yes. Yes, he was.

[Are_grits_groceries]

4. Lol

Any port in a storm.

[Aristus]

5. I was born and raised in Texas.

You're right about the church thing. Every single Sunday, without fail. I don't remember much about the church services, only that we got to go to Luby's afterward, and I would have their incomparable chicken-fried steak.

There's a picture of me standing in the driveway of our house on Sprucewood Lane in San Antonio. I'm about four or so. And I'm wearing a toy, child-sized Confederate Army cap. (!)

We also have a picture of my Dad when he was a teenager, playing with his dog. He's waving a small Confederate flag at his dog to tease him. This, despite the fact that my Dad later had a very notable, anti-KKK reaction once when he was dating my mother.

We grew up with the myth that the defenders of the Alamo were brave, selfless heroes fighting for freedom, instead of to preserve and expand the institution of slavery.

All I ever heard about Robert E. Lee is that he was a kindly, grandfatherly man who hated slavery but joined the Confederacy because he couldn't bear arms against Virginia.

I was a nearly an adult before I realized what horseshit that all was...

The fuckin' South, am I right?...

[Are_grits_groceries]

6. Yep

I knew the names of the Confederate generals before I knew the Apostles names.

[OldBaldy1701E]

7. Fellow Southerner here.

So, in the ninth grade, we had 'US History', with the formidable Mr. Britt (fake name). The year went something like this:

August: US pre-history.

September: Say... 1700-1760.

October: 1760-1775.

November: 1775-1800

December: 1800-1850-ish.

January-Half of May: The Civil War... or as he called it, "The Wauwa!"

Last half of May-End of the year: 1866-the present.

[Are_grits_groceries]

10. Ha!

It is supposed to be called The War Between The States not the Civil War. This was a Southern rule I learned.

[OldBaldy1701E]

12. You are correct.

I had forgotten that!

I also believe he, on a rare occasion, may have referred to it as 'The War Of Northern Aggression'.

[OldBaldy1701E]

8. I was pretty much the same.

It was comics, Star Trek (and, all of Sci-Fi to a slightly lesser extent), Stephen King, and having hippie relatives (especially my uncle J... he was my mojo) that fueled my rebellion and understanding of our society.

My family was pretty serious about church, with my father being a deacon, until we moved to this place way out in the country. Because of the long drive into town, they decided to attend the church that was not far from us. Well sir, when the preacher at the old church found out we were doing that, he went a rampage and preach no less than three sermons where he denounced 'traitors' and spoke of 'defection from the truth'. My father never recovered from that and never went to church again, except for certain events.

So, we were pretty free range, even more so when the marriage finally fell apart. They were too busy either trying to save face with everyone (by making shit up in some cases) or drinking themselves into a stupor to forget the whole thing. (Yeah, latch key does not even begin to describe it.)

As much as I cherish my own heritage and the area that I am from, I am just nothing like the typical person from that area.

But I will say that, in many ways, I am very much the typical person you used to meet there, despite the differences in personal pleasures and objectives.

I am very proud of that.

[Skittles]

9. "Uncle Bobby"

is that for real? CREEPY

[Are_grits_groceries]

11. It's real.

We were little kids and his picture was right beside other family members.
When we were older we knew better.

[Skittles]

13. that is just plain GROOMING

[AllaN01Bear]

14. hehe. i grew up the same way except in southern california