LuckyCharms' revenge.

[NNadir]

Yesterday I was joshing with him about his bad eye, (a serious matter) and this morning I have to see the ophthalmologist for an eye infection.

The damned thing is oozing something or another. It's harder and harder to see out of it.

It's pain in the eye for being a pain in the ass.

I don't actually believe in Karma, but if I did, this would fit the bill.

Thanks Lucky!

[LuckyCharms]

1. You know...

I never gave much thought to my eyes, until they started betraying me.

If you are anything like me, you are a little freaked out right now, but it will be OK, I promise.

And don't feel bad about saying that you were going to punch me in the eye! I would never exact revenge on you for that. I've been punched in the eye before, and I kind of liked it. Made me feel...alive!

Keep us posted, and good luck!

[CincyDem]

2. The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. :-). Good luck!

[NNadir]

3. I had a friend whose parents both got lung cancer at the same time.

Her father said to her mother, "my cancer is worse than yours. "

She asked, "How can you say that? Mine is more advanced."

He replied, "because it's my cancer."

Just kidding.

I've long suffered from ocular migraines, which freaked me out when they first started. I thought I was having a stroke. The treatment is to take aspirin and coffee.

Yours is worse than mine. This is clearly an infection and unless it involves a resistant strain, will be treatable with
ophthalmic antibiotic drops. I doubt anyone will be sticking a needle in it.

I have a truly great ophthalmologist. She's a wonder. I'm a lucky guy Lucky.

[LuckyCharms]

4. I once had a 45 second period of vivid and intense hallucinations...

Went to a neurologist who said it was an ocular migraine...he kind of brushed me off.

I insisted it was not an ocular migraine because I had researched what they looked like, and mine was nothing like that. I insisted on a brain MRI.

MRI showed it was a lacunar stroke.

[NNadir]

6. Ok. You win. Yours is worse than mine.

The aspirin and coffee aways works for mine. They are ocular migraines.

[LuckyCharms]

9. That one instance never happened to me again.

It was all of these vivid. sharp, colorful geometric shapes hurling at me through space. Then, a movie screen appeared, with my nephew in the center of the movie screen. It was so detailed, that I could see a stain on his leather jacket.

So strange.

I'm glad that you will not have to get the needle today.

Listen, I also know a little about eye infections. They won't give you a needle, so please don't worry. For eye infections such as yours, they typically use a DeWalt drill, with a one inch spade bit attached. They drill through your eye, all the way through the back of your head, so the infection can safely drain out through the exit hole.

So please try not to worry.

[NNadir]

10. Thanks for your comforting description of treatment options.

I think I have a drill at home. Should I skip the doctor and ask my wife to treat it, Doc?

[LuckyCharms]

11. No! The safest thing to do is to drive yourself, alone, to the eye doctor!

It's very important to drive yourself if you are having trouble seeing.

The trick is...if you can't see out of your bad eye while driving, just close BOTH eyes to drive. You will be able to see better this way, because your brain compensates for this.

If you try to drive with one bad eye, your brain gets confusing visual signals, and that's a recipe for disaster.

[NNadir]

12. Wow! You must have been top of the class in medical school.

Neurology and ophthalmology in one medical professional at the same time.

Do you take my insurance?

[LuckyCharms]

13. No, I barter for my services.

I'll take care of your infection, and for payment, I would like a new DeWalt drill.

[NNadir]

15. My neighbors house burned down when his drill battery ignighted.

I'll try to find out if it was a Dewalt. If it was, it's a deal.

[LuckyCharms]

16. OMG...this is actually my worst fear.

I have so many lithium ion batteries in my attached garage...seriously, I worry so much about this. Most of them are going on 11 years old...

Ryobi and ego batteries...

[NNadir]

18. I leave them unplugged until I'm ready to use them.

Ego battery chargers are air cooled, but even those can be dangerous.

I exclusively use Ego products, lawn mower, chain saw, and snow blower.

Seriously lithium batteries are not toys. They can be extremely dangerous. Under certain circumstances in a fire they can release highly toxic hydrogen fluoride gas. I've worked, in my career with many dangerous chemicals, including the one time war gas phosgene. Hydrogen fluoride is the scariest of all I've used.

I had a computer catch fire some years ago. Happily I was able to quickly smother the flames.

Leave them unplugged unless you are about to use them or have just finished them.

Seriously...

[Easterncedar]

5. I hope your eye feels better right away

We need your insight here!

[Irish_Dem]

7. Lesson learned.

Don’t cross lucky

[NNadir]

8. I agree. It all started when I threatened to punch him in the eye.

[Irish_Dem]

17. He got me too. I typed that message about Lucky while I was on a treadmill

and I almost fell off of it while typing with one hand.

If I had ended up in the ER with a broken bone, I would have had
to tell the ER doc that my friend Lucky threw me off the treadmill.

[multigraincracker]

14. I have glaucoma, but caught it. In time.

My dad died blind from his so always got mine checked.
My biggest eye problem are floaters. Always see them on the edges and it use to drive me nuts. Now I’m use to it and decided to just enjoy show.
My only worry is not being able to drive. No longer drive at night because of glare.

[NNadir]

19. Back from the ophthalmologist.

She put me on an antibiotic and sold me some kind of specialized soak your eye pads that one puts in the microwave. It's an infection.

She said "Quit your bitching pal, your situation is nowhere near as bad as Lucky's. If you don't stop whining, I'm going to give you an eye injection."

I told her about the Dewalt drill.

She said, "Yeah. I was with that asshole in medical school. She gave me the card of a lawyer who sues them whenever they talk about the Dewalt drill."

I had no idea the guy was famous among ophthalmologists but he is.