Why do I cry at the drop of a hat?

[Flo Mingo]

I have lived this reality for a long time and I'm trying to understand why. I'm emotionally intelligent and work through my issues via self analysis and a belief that the Universe is perfect. But here's my "problem"; when I speak, if I'm at all emotionally or empathically engaged what I'm saying, I cry. The catch comes in my throat, I swallow hard, pause, think of something unpleasant or unappealing, etc. But nothing stops the tears from wanting to flow. I mean, like ugly crying over a story or thought or inspiration or whatEVER.
Help me out. Is it just me and how do I keep my empathy without having to bawl like a child over it?
TIA

[AloeVera]

1. Do you cry over good stories and thoughts or bad?

If it's good, I have the same issue. Though I do cry over bad too of course but as I age that is more under control. But I can't control the tears welling up at positive emotions. Then I feel like such a dork.

[Flo Mingo]

5. Yes, Aloe. Exactly that.

If it's sad or aggravating, I manage fine but when it's something I'm passionate about or that touches my heart in a "wholesome" way. It's waterworks! Totally relate to the dork but I'm trying to just embrace it. It hasn't changed but I get my anxiety about it out of the way by just letting people know. "First of all, I'm a crier. So don't let it distract you. I'm OK, it's just what I do." lol

[AloeVera]

10. Now you've made me cry!

Last edited Tue May 5, 2026, 06:41 PM - Edit history (1)

Not waterworks exactly but tears welling up just reading. Oh, there goes a drop as I'm typing! Just you sharing this odd commonality makes me feel good enough to cry!

People and cat/dog videos. Feel-good, heartfelt movies, oh boy. Happiness is so contagious to me and that deserves a good cry! It's a good thing.

I like the idea of embracing it and the upfront disclosure! My sons think its endearing though "weird" , friends mostly laugh about it - though I'm still embarrassed - and it doesn't happen much in front of strangers.

Otoh if I read about animal t*rt*re, even a whiff in a post title, by accident, I experience horrible emotions for hours. Not waterworks but over-identification and grief. It's awful. It happens with children too, the awful things that are done to them. So anything or anyone helpless or innocent. Does that happen to you? I just wonder if the two are related in people or I'm just an odd duck lol.

[Flo Mingo]

15. Yes!

Same here. Hurting the innocents brings instant grief, sadness and a darkness I cant describe. Not hate or anger for the perpetrators but a complete hollowness in my heart from the awareness of evil.

[LuckyCharms]

2. Several possible reasons.

Undiagnosed depression, trauma, medical condition, etc. Also, has it always been like this, or is it sudden?

It could just be that you feel things. You're empathetic.

I think it would be a better world if people were not afraid to cry.

If you view it as a problem though, try consciously changing your facial expression, while pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth. This will distract you momentarily and may stop the tears from starting.

Edit to add: I'm sorry. i just reread your post, and I see that you stated that this has been going on for a long time. If that is the case, I really would not be too concerned. It's the way you are, and it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing.

[Flo Mingo]

6. Thank you, Lucky

I appreciate the tip and I'll give it a try. And I'm trying to embrace the empathy where it all starts but no one I like hearing speak has to cry their way through their message. I'm just trying to meet myself where I am. Be open to something under the surface that may be playing a part but I feel like a well-adjusted adult of normal, loving parents.
And, as Joni Mitchell says, "Laughing and crying, you know it's the same release"

[Tesha]

3. My tears are always ready to drop

Anything emotional, good or bad and… there they are.

My only guard that works is to have what i need to say prepared and rehearsed.

[Flo Mingo]

7. Thanks, Tesha

That may also be playing a part. I'm bad at prep. Much better at speaking off the cuff when it's something I'm versed in and passionate about. But I'm willing to try anything different, short of meeting the devil at the crossroads!

[cksmithy]

4. I would cry at heart warming commercials knowing the adds were just trying to sell products.

I endured a very horrific childhood, full of neglect and abuse. I, too, am very much an empathetic person. It was only after a few years in my 30's of talking therapy with a Doctor of Psychology, that my life changed. I still shed a tear during wonderful happy times, but I can now allow myself to get angry when people are suffering all over the world and when my situation warrants it.

Do not feel bad for crying or shedding a tear. I had tears running down my face when my daughter played her violin in a quartet, during her high school senior year concert and that was after therapy. The other parents of the group didn't shed a tear, I cried, I didn't have tissues to wipe my face, just, my hands. My daughter said, she could see me crying from the stage. I was so proud of her accomplishment and they sounded so good, I couldn't stop myself.

If you are uncomfortable about your tears and crying, you could talk to a therapist, but know you have a good heart and feelings, and there is nothing wrong with that.

[Flo Mingo]

8. I had tears running down my face when my daughter played her violin in a quartet......

This made me cry.

Thank you, CK. I really am trying to embrace it. I read a story about a woman who lived in the backwood scrub in Florida and in the winter, a snake would enter her home and curl up on the TV for warmth. (CRT TV for you youngsters!) She first freaked out about it but realized she couldn't kill it, so she named it Sydney and then it was less scary.

[cksmithy]

9. Your welcome.

[Kali]

11. people that know me well tease about my crying at public meetings

I cry easily at all sorts of things, but far as I can tell they are all appropriate if not entirely normal for most people so keep a kleenex and fuck it, weep away. if it isn't normal for you, perhaps real depression is happening and more than self analysis might be needed. times are pretty fucked right now and I don't know why more people aren't breaking down.

[Flo Mingo]

16. Thank you, Kali

I actually feel emotionally ok. I went through about a year of real darkness and depression after Hurricane Helene. I'm in NC, in the epicenter of the catastrophic flooding. Though I suffered no personal loss of friends, family or home, being here and seeing the results every day took a toll. I started Somatic therapy: A combination of sound and meditation, a "resonant nidra" as the practitioner calls it.
His teaching is that the body holds what the mind can't process. The meditation gives you the chance to explore where you may be holding trauma. The sound of singing bowls, chimes, gong songs, etc, keep you present in the moment and gives your mind something to focus on when it wants to wander. Im going to tell you, it sounded a lot like woo woo when I first heard about it. But now I'm wondering if it's woo woo or quantum physics! Either way, I've added it to my recipe book of self care.

[Niagara]

12. Keep in mind that I don't have medical, psychology, or social work degree

You COULD BE what's called a "super sensor"


Do you have a reaction to or feel overstimulated by noises or lights by any chance?


If so, things that you most likely are: extremely observant, deal with intense emotions, have an understanding of aesthetics, also analyzing cause and effect (thinking about actions before doing them)


Things that you are NOT: too sensitive, weak, or fake or shallow


If anyone ever tells you, "You're too sensitive" Your go to reply could be, "You're too numb."

[Flo Mingo]

17. Wow, Niagra

All the above. I'm super sensitive to loud or repetive or high pitch noise. Im painfully empathic and I realized early that I have to be able to process these feelings. Im grateful to the teachers that appeared when I needed them most.

[hamsterjill]

13. It's already suggested up thread that you could be empathic.

I feel that's probably what this is. I don't know that I believe empaths have a "sixth sense" in some unusual or far fetched way. I just believe that their talents are directed to sensing the "vibes" (if you will) of others, etc. Much as people are born with a great singing voice that most of us would have no way of duplicating, others may be born with other, different talents that the majority do not understand. When those talents are cultivated, they get better at something that the general populace.

It most definitely indicates that you care and understand the feelings of others. I think that makes for a good person. So, if *I* were you, I'd be proud of who I am and not worry about it.

Are you, by chance, an animal lover? I think most animal lovers are empaths. I will bawl my eyes out over a story of some four legged creature suffering, etc.

[Flo Mingo]

18. Thanks Hamsterjill

I am all those things. I love unconditionally. I refuse to close my heart to protect myself because a closed heart is cold and lonely. I had to learn boundaries, however.
And I have experienced what you described. I have a gift for helping others work through trauma and grief. Or insecurities and self doubt. I hold space for others to feel, say and release whatever they're holding, without judgement or remedy. I love that about me and if ugly crying in public is the price, Im ok with it. But I would like to learn to control it, though.

[10 Turtle Day]

14. Now I am crying knowing that I am not alone in this

I’ve also always been a crier at the drop of a hat. Can’t tell a heartwarming story, watch a touching commercial, or listen to a beautiful symphony without tears. Now in my senior years I just tell people that question it that I’m a highly empathetic person. This isn’t a clinical diagnosis, just what I’ve settled on as a response. This is who I am and I just found my tribe! But I don’t know how to stop it, which is what you asked. Thank you for posting about it here. I take comfort in knowing I’m not alone and hope maybe now you can as well.

[Flo Mingo]

19. Thank you, Turtle Day

You def found a tibe in me! And nobody had to diagnose my emathy either. I feel everything and everyone. That needs no diagnosis!!

[Mad_Dem_X]

20. I'm the same way

For the past few years, I've been crying at nearly everything. Songs, commercials, TV shows, movies.

[Flo Mingo]

21. New group at DU?

Criers Anon
or
Proud Ugly-Crying Kind, Empathic Reactors or PUCKER for short