Something is on my mind today.

[LuckyCharms]

I'm sick. Kind of feeling my own mortality. Thinking about things I could have done better in my life.

We had a bad flood some years ago. Very bad. As the flood was progressing, a neighbor that I didn't really know walked over early in the morning. In his pajamas. He stuck a cup of coffee in my hand. He put a cigarette in my mouth (I don't smoke anymore), lit it up for me, and introduced himself. He lived a bit up the road from me. so he was in no danger, but I was, being on lower ground.

We stood there silently and watched the water slowly rise. It took a long time to reach my house, but it made it there as the river crested.

I'm standing there with this guy that I don't know who is in his fucking pajamas.

Him: Doesn't look good.

Me: Yup. I'm fucked.

Him: You got a wife, right?

Me: I put her up in a hotel yesterday. I'm here with the dogs. She's in the hotel with her stuff, and going to work from there. My family is out of town. There are no pumps around here to be found, and I'm going to need some. I asked my family to drive up from NYC, or down from Buffalo, to help me out, because I'm going to need it. They're "too busy". Lowe's is out. Home Depot is closed because they are underwater, Ace hardware is out. I'm fucked.

Him: I got a little boat pump that I can bring over.

I just looked at this obviously hung-over man, and at that moment, I thought he was an angel. I thought "This fucking guy doesn't even know me, and he's offering to help me". This guy is a good man.

He brought over this tiny pump, which I ended up using. It felt like this guy gave me a million bucks. This is what people should do for each other.

After that, another neighbor's father drove all the way up from Queens in his pickup truck. My neighbor (who was also on higher ground) called his dad. He said "Lucky needs help. We're going to be fine here, but he needs help, he needs pumps and fittings. There's none to be found around here". So, his dad drove up from Queens with pumps, hoses, fittings...everything I needed. He was angel #2.

There were some people in our neighborhood whose homes were COMPLETELY covered with water. Nothing sticking out except maybe the chimney. My wife was safe, I would be alright eventually...so I helped them out first before tending to my own home.

I went to this one guy's house that was completely submerged. i didn't know the guy, but I knew his home was totaled for FEMA purposes. He had the job of stripping everything down to the studs, and then moving out. To a hotel. FEMA had spray painted those symbols on the front of his home, indicating that all were safe, but the house was condemned.

So I was swinging a crowbar in this guy's house, breaking out the sheetrock. I had my mouth opened, and I had moldy debris fly into my mouth and into my lungs. As I was doubled-over coughing and puking, I saw a soaking wet Raggedy Ann doll laying on the floor, and I lost my shit because the enormity of everything hit me. I just dropped to my knees, sobbing and coughing.

I took care of several neighbors before tending to my house. It was months and months of work, and I think it affected me mentally to some extent. Mainly because people came out of the woodwork to help me. Not my family though. Friends that I didn't know I had.

A few days after pajama man gave me his boat pump, he came over again and said "I need a favor, but I'm afraid to ask".

I said "What is it"?

He said: i don't have anyone. I don't have any friends that will help me. I have to get outpatient surgery and I have no one to go with me. I'm afraid . Will you go with me?

I said: Of course I will. I will bring you, and I will stay there with you, and then I will bring you home.

So that is what I did.

And I would subsequently check on him at home after his surgery. We became friends.

About 2 weeks later, he went missing.

For about a month.

They finally found him in the woods several miles from his home. He had killed himself.

I was going through my photos last night and I found a picture of him standing in my side yard, watching the water creep toward my home.

I wonder if I could have helped him. Maybe if i wasn't so distracted by the flood, I could have. Maybe I could have recognized that he was in trouble. But I did the best I could at the time. Even though I stayed at the hospital with him, even though I checked on him every day...I feel like I could have done more. If I only knew the pain he was in.

There's a thread in here about making friends. If you want to make friends...help someone. Especially if you know they need a friend. Help them freely, and expect nothing in return.

I've been such a lucky man with the people who have come into my life. I don't have a ton of friends, but the ones that I do have would probably take a bullet for me, as I would for them.

Actions speak...words can and do lie. Actions don't lie. Help someone out. Help many people out, and people will gravitate toward you. And most importantly...don't be afraid to accept help.

I wish I could have done better with the man in his pajamas. I was all he had at the time, and I did my best.

And that flood brought me close to more people than I could ever imagine. And we are still close today because of it.

And being ill right now, and not in the best mental state, I just hope that I did my best for the man in his pajamas. I'm pretty sure I did. But, I'm grieving today for what he must have gone through. He didn't tell me how much mental pain he was in.

I've been feeling so bad that I have not been around here much, and I likely won't be. I don't know.

When you are my age, and something is knocking you down, you tend to take stock of your life.

I've made mistakes, but overall, I'm happy with the life I have lived.

If you want to feel better...make others feel better, and bask in the glow of the fact that you did a good job. Not for you, but for others.

[erronis]

1. That's beautiful, Lucky. Thank you for spreading the message!

I try and drag my ass out of my man cave every day and do something, anything, for somebody. I've made some friends and a lot of acquaintances - people I could call if I needed.

I wish it wasn't so hard for all of us (and especially me) to ask for help when we need it.

A smile to a stranger can change the whole day.

[Walleye]

2. You did a very good job, you can't save everybody. And grief is built-in with life.

[Deuxcents]

3. ((❤️‍🩹)) Hugs for your hurting heart. I read your post as a selfless man reflecting on life's challenges

And wish I had a neighbor as kind as you. It’s good to reminisce but don’t stay in the dark spaces too long. I wish for you sunnier days ☀️

[cachukis]

4. Empathy lives.

[1WorldHope]

5. Lucky Charms what a touching piece you've written.

It reflects the touching life that you have led. I will never understand the pain it must take to kill one's self.
I'm so sorry things are so low for you right now. I hope someone as deep and caring as you are comes along to give you the hope and comfort that you deserve. Your story is quite heart breaking, please keep writing.
Peace Love and White Light 🕯️

[a kennedy]

6. 🥰 ♥️ 🥰

[gab13by13]

7. Something Krasnov will never learn.

The only way to get anything out of life is by giving.

[Grim Chieftain]

8. OMG LuckyCharms, what a beautiful post

You were a blessing in that man's life. Truly. Something inspired him to reach out to you, and you were there when he had no one else and needed you the most. Please take comfort from that.

Your post will stay with me for a long, long time.

Blessings to you, friend.

[Magoo48]

9. Yup, to it all. Peace and good health. Big respect.

[mwmisses4289]

10. gentle 🫂 to you and yours, Mr. LuckyCharms.

[bsiebs]

11. That made me cry...

Thank you LuckyCharms, you have a good soul... I only hope I will be able to look back on my life and feel like I did the best I could.

[Harker]

12. I hope you're feeling a whole lot better very soon, Lucky.

[TygrBright]

13. Lucky, I won't go into why I believe this - this is not about me. But...

...I believe you not only helped man in pajamas, you made a difference that no one else could have or would have made.

We are stuck in time, here, so we imagine 'past' and 'future', and think that the one is gone forever and the other may never be what we want. Our brains are made to perceive linear sequence.

So you imagine that being there for man in pajamas to help (your first quantum gift to him) ended after the water started going down. And that driving him to/from his procedure and being there for him (another quantum gift) ended when the surgery ended and he was back home.

And your care in checking on him and being friends (more quantum gifts) ended when he decided to end his pain.

I tell you this, and believe it with every fiber of what and who I am: LOVE IS NEVER "OVER". It never "stops". It has no past and no future. Acts of love are quantum gifts, where we recognize and exchange humanity with one another, and do homage to the Divine Within, and they endure forever. They are more deeply significant than our linear brains can ever understand.

You are a bright light burning in the heart of man in pajamas, and he is a bright light in your heart. Now and in eternity, beyond time, in a quantum experience that all life shares and makes and gives.

Everything you write in this post is a quantum gift to me, and I reverence it, and you.

Thank you.

lovingly,
Bright

[PatSeg]

14. Now I have tears in my eyes

Thanks for sharing.

I am also at a reflective stage in my life, I can totally relate.

[IbogaProject]

16. That was way deeper than your brief interactions with him

He was clearly out of emotional gas and likely on autopilot when he came and helped. If I had to guess he had lost a partner or could sense impending decline and decided to check out. I really doubt you could have helped in that case. But just vow to pay it forward as you can given you aren't as young as when you helped people with interior demolition.

[debm55]

17. Your post is beautiful and heartfelt, Thank you Lucky for sharing your heart and soul with us. Love, Deb

[Bumbles]

18. There are good people in this messy world

and you are one of them, Lucky. Don't stop connecting and writing. You are needed.

[chouchou]

19. Seems like you understand the Inner and the Outer.

[LoisB]

20. You did the best you could have for "Pajama Man". He, no doubt, had demons

you could not possibly have been aware of. I often think about things I could have done better, more help I could have given but all we can do is learn from our history and try to do better in the future.

[JMCKUSICK]

21. Thank you LuckyCharms, so very well said!

Please remember to ask for help too. You deserve it!

[NNadir]

22. The very wonderful thing about facing one's mortality is that...

...one cannot do it unless one has lived.

It seems as if you have done that, lived, as did the man in the pajamas, who ultimately made the choice to not live.

I remember as a young man reading (in translation as I did not know much French at the time) Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus which argued, if I recall correctly, that life is always worth living precisely because it is absurd.

Maybe so, maybe not.

It is wonderful that you are alive to consider these things, to reflect on them, to have that dead man still living in your memory.

In a way, despite the tragedy you describe, your reflection on them is a marvelous thing in and of itself, in an odd way, strikingly informed by the act of having a heart still beating.

Congratulations on that, the heart still beating.

[mountain grammy]

23. Beautiful post..

only a good person could write that story...

I really hope your health improves. The world needs you.

[Moostache]

24. Sharing that story is a way of paying it forward...

I was touched by the story of kindnesses received and given... I will fully plan on remembering this the next time I see a stranger or a neighbor or anyone near me in need of a hand. This world is terrible when viewed from too high above the muck... but when we focus on the people around us and just getting through the next day or even the next hour sometimes, there is beauty and real connections abound.

In the end, I want to reach my finish line with nothing in the tank, nothing in the bank and a line of people I have made smile if only for a brief moment and stories like yours help me remember that more clearly on days when I am otherwise fit to be tied. Thank you!

[appalachiablue]

25. What a wonderful post, thank you for sharing the moving story of pajama man. Goodness does exist

in spite of all the trouble and evil in the world.
------
There's a thread in here about making friends. If you want to make friends...help someone. Especially if you know they need a friend. Help them freely, and expect nothing in return.

[True Dough]

26. Did anyone ever tell you

that you tell the best stories?

[HeartsCanHope]

27. So very touching, Lucky Charms.

From my perspective, you did as well as you could for your friend, and you continue to do so much for others.

We need more like you. Sending you hugs and lots of love today.

[rambler_american]

28. Kindness is my religion

I look for opportunities to be kind. Once in a while I either don't recognize one or am too busy. , but I try.

[SuzyandPuffpuff]

29. Ouch

That was beautiful and sad and full of humanity. I can't fix your heart... I'd feel the same ... but for a few moments of time ... you were the world to him . Thank Yu for being a good human.

[biophile]

30. Good advice, always

Help others, be kind, take care of yourself too but keep others in mind.
Every religion has a variation of the Golden Rule but it doesn’t need any religion to be followed as a guideline through life.

[niyad]

31. My dear friend, holding you in love and light, sending vibes to ease

some of the pain, on every level. You are such a good and loving soul, please be kind to yourself. I can tell you from experience that even kindness and caring, and even physical presence, may not be enough to stop someone who is determined to kill themselves. We carry the burden of those failures, and it is a heavy one indeed. But we are neither omniscient, nor omnipotent, so we must give ourselves a little grace.


Huggggs

[Niagara]

32. First of all... I want to say that I'm sorry that you're not feeling well, Lucky

I'm certain that you did the best that you could do with the knowledge that you had to help others.

I believe the most of us second guess ourselves much later in life and think about what could have or should have. I know it's easier said than done but please don't second guess yourself and the help that you gave to your neighbor pajama man. You were absolutely there for him.

It's nice to see you here but it's alright if you need to take time off to take care of yourself. I believe that most of us here would encourage you to take care of yourself before popping into DU.

I hope that you're doing well or at least better. Wishing you peace, light and healing energies. ❤️

[Irish_Dem]

33. Wow.

Great post.

[littlemissmartypants]

34. We love you, LC. ❤️

[markie]

35. I hope you know

how you make us better every day we read your posts

I remember one day years ago you were here and I asked advice on some plumbing... you took the time to help, and I did a damn good job on that sink... we don't forget

[Figarosmom]

36. I'm sure you've done your best in this life.

I will make changes in my next life from what I've learned in this one. You can do the same.

[cate94]

37. You did good by your friend

He was just in too much pain to handle, or even ask for help. Your last sentence is the absolute truth.

[ms.pamela]

38. Hold On

Take each day at a time. Every one of us have probably had a situation where we wish we could have done something more to help someone. So many people I know, my husband being one, are experiencing difficult health conditions. The horrible, unlawful and devastating things trump and his monsters are doing only make matters much worse. Yes, it is truly like living in hell but then again, I am reminded every day that there are kind good people all around us.

[yellow dahlia]

39. Thank you for the story, and the truths.

You shared it eloquently, LC.

[sprinkleeninow]

40. Do not harbor regrets. I'm guilty of that and it rips you apart.

Your account is spiritually beautiful and moving. It truly blessed me just now.

[calimary]

41. Thank you so much for this, LuckyCharms!

Soooooooo much to think about. Sooooooooo much to learn from it, and from you.

Thank you for this “wisdom essay” (I’d guess one could call it!). You remind me of one of the most meaningful things my dad taught me: “to make a friend, you have to BE a friend.”

Boy oh boy, talk about truer words never spoken. I didn’t get much of “My Dad The Philosopher”. But I DID get that little truism. And it’s stayed with me (and enlightened, inspired, and helped me) to this very day.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

42. Wow, thank you, Lucky.

You made every single one of us who read this Lucky.

[IcyPeas]

43. Hugs (((Lucky))) ❣️

[OAITW r.2.0]

44. Sad story, LC.

That's why I live 800 ASL.

[oldsoldierfadingfast]

45. Ah been tryin' to tell ...

all yaw'l fow a very long time, that thar' are AiDs (Angels in Disquise) alivin' amung usens.
Maybe it was my Suthun accent that ya coudn't unnerstan' !
But let me tell you now and understand this - sometimes YOU are the AiD and YOU just don't know it and maybe never will.

[RVN VET71]

46. "If you want to feel better...make others feel better, and bask in the glow of the fact that you did a good job."

These are the wisest words I've heard in my 80 years.

Thanks for sharing.

[Permanut]

47. Incredible story..

Thanks for bringing it here, LuckyCharms.

[oldsoldierfadingfast]

48. You did ...

the best that you could; with WHAT you HAD; at that particular TIME.
At that particular time you had no knowledge of his plans. The only thing you have to regret is the passing of someone you thought of as a friend and mourn your loss of that friendship in the same manner as I'm pretty sure have mourned other friends in the past.
I, for one, read your posts, and sure would miss them if they were not there - as I think so many of us DUers would.
Keep on, keeping on posting - frequently!

[summer_in_TX]

49. Lucky, you are a good 'un.

We are privileged to know you here. Thanks for sharing from your heart. Much wisdom there. Wishing you better health and the comfort of knowing you have done well with your life.

[hamsterjill]

50. "I've made mistakes, but overall, I'm happy with the life I have lived."

There is so much wisdom in that statement. Profound wisdom.

We have all made mistakes. We all have regrets. The ones of us who actually feel empathy for others are the ones who beat ourselves up over those mistakes and regrets. If you don't care about others, you don't worry about your mistakes. If you care, you worry and reflect and ruminate and wish for revisions and second chances.

But we all do the best we can in the moment that we are living in. Considering ALL that you were dealing with at the time when the man asked for your help, you did an enormous thing for that person. Know that and be happy with that.

But also know that *I* love it when people care enough to question if they could have done more. Because it means that they have the ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes and actually sense and feel what someone else is dealing with.

You're a good person, Lucky, as evidenced time and time again here on DU. You have every reason to be happy with the life you are living. While it's natural to feel our own mortality, don't let that stop you from living the rest of the time that you have. Who knows...there may be another guy who comes outside in his pajamas. You just never know. And not knowing is what makes it interesting.

[FullySupportDems]

51. You let him know someone cared, and that had to mean a lot

I imagine, somewhere, his spirit feels us thinking about him and is pleased we know his special story with you. I hope you feel better soon and your spirits feel uplifted.

[lonely bird]

52. Thank you LC

My wife was talking to an Episcopal priest one time about when someone asks if they can help you. The priest said if you don’t accept their offer to help you are denying them the opportunity for grace.

We should never be too stubborn or think we can do it ourselves to not accept help.

[Clouds Passing]

53. You deserve a hug LC