People that feel weak are the ones that attack.

[Bonobo]

It's important to remember that.

When a person, man or woman, actually feels powerful and confident as opposed to merely pretending and boasting, then they are rarely antagonistic and tend to not try to provoke fights.

When you see a person, man or woman, that is always taking about how strong they are and is always looking for fights, it is an absolute certainty that they actually feel weak and vulnerable.

Two things should be remembered as a result. One, by making yourself stronger, you will actually be promoting an atmosphere of peace (conversely - and no, I am NOT talking about guns or other weapons). Two, that you need to be on your toes around frightened people because they are always ready to attack since they live in fear and see threats all around them.

[rrneck]

1. Bullies don't want a fight. They want an easy victory. nt

[westerebus]

2. Never underestimate the power of alcohol.

Even among seemingly rational persons. I suspect that if a device fitted to a computer could warn the public that what they are viewing as argument is in fact the expressly intoxicated ramblings of a less than healthy mind set, we would find those conflicted souls to be just who they are and nothing more.

Sorry, if this is off topic. It did seem to me to be restating what while obvious is often ignored when dealing with antagonistic persons. I've seen the argument go from jest and banter to open hostility in the course of five minutes with some persons.

While they may have had a justifiable point to make, the sheer vitriol coupled to conjured up misstatements of fact reminds me of the arguments over who hit who back first as if that was the cause of the argument in the first place.

Adding inebriates increases the amplification while removing the rationality they had proposed to be a message of importance for all to hear. Be it the death of a salesman or the birth of the first born, it doesn't matter when the insults fly in fury. Raw nerves and alcohol never mix well.

Unfortunately, some prefer the path of disquiet their anger offers them. As opposed to accepting that their fears often come from the foundation of that anger which they embrace. To become whole, to become healthy, to repair the damage doesn't happens by itself.

Anger will not go away on its own accord. Alcohol will see to that.

This isn't directed at you Bonobo. I making sure we are clear on that.

If some one reads this and becomes angry, I would hope you would talk to some one you trust and ask them if they think there may be a problem.

I'll get off my soap box. Thanks for listening.

[HuskiesHowls]

3. Weak, fearful and/or insecure

Go to a dog park, and watch the interactions of the dogs. Weak and insecure dogs will be the ones starting the fights, if all else is equal (a dog that is not neutered, or a female in heat, around a bunch of neutered dogs is a guaranteed fight, eventually). A fearful dog is dangerous to all (canine and human), as they use attack tactics to protect themselves. I have 5 dogs, all are loved and very secure in knowing they are dogs, and that they will be protected in adverse circumstances. I take them to a dog park frequently, and watch the interactions, and know that certain dogs are problems to be avoided.

How does taking my dogs to the dog park relate to this? I may not have learned everything I have needed to know in kindergarten, but I have learned a lot about group interactions by watching the dogs, and learning what happens when the social dynamic changes.

The same things happen in human groups, too. There are people to be consciously avoided, because the threat for trouble is high. Its easy to pick these people out: they're the loud, boisterous types out to prove to the world how great they are. It comes to watching, and learning. And, part of this, is working on your own actions and feelings to become a better, stronger person.

[chrisa]

4. It's better to avoid a fight than to risk hurting another.

Even if someone is outright obnoxious and antagonistic - strength is knowing that you can hurt your target, but choosing not to because you are peaceful and disciplined.