What do you do when someone you trusted turns on you?

[Denninmi]

How do you deal with that, emotionally? Pragmatically?

[Major Nikon]

1. I remember what Bob Marley said...

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."

[Denninmi]

2. Is anyone really worth suffering over?

Life is too short for suffering.

I wondered how guys who have been in bitter divorces, for example, cope with it.

[Major Nikon]

3. If we don't suffer occassionally the good times wouldn't be so good

Some people are worth the suffering. Divorce is for people who aren't.

[Denninmi]

4. I don't know - I guess if there is hope things will improve.

I still think it would be very hard to get though the bad times in a relationship if they were really bad. When it gets to the point of pathological hatred then I really don't know how you could deal with it.

[MrSlayer]

5. I give second chances for most things.

But I never trust again.

I believe in the adage that a friend must prove themselves over and over while an enemy need only prove themselves once.

[NRA_SUCKS]

10. Sadly I do that too...

I'm too forgiving to a point that I expect to get hurt anymore... sadly i'm rarely disappointed =[

the worst pain and violation is always from women I trust, such as my exwife.
maybe it's me. the pain is far less than it was when i was forced to leave but, the anger and resentment seems to linger.

I'm seeing a shrink, but it's so hard to WANT to forgive my ex... and pretty much all women for what was done to me because I see the same patterns in every woman I know, with few exceptions. *sighs8
sorry /rant.

[Inkfreak]

6. I tend to distance myself from that person

I tend to not place a lot of trust in people. This I consider a failing of mine. I had some issues early on in my life with some people. Nothing earth shattering, but as a young man, these experiences shaped a lot of my relationships with people. I most likely missed out on some possible great friendships if I'd been a little more trusting. I try to do better these days. It's difficult tho. Anyways, I lurked upon your post & liked the question.

[lumberjack_jeff]

7. Reel in the trust circle.

Is that a healthy reaction? Maybe, maybe not.

[Denninmi]

8. I'm not sure what that means?

Don't trust the person, or anyone? Or, "trust but verify" like with the Soviets during START.

[lumberjack_jeff]

9. When we're young and naive, we trust everyone.

As we age and that trust is violated, we are less inclined to extend it.