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Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
Mon Apr 22, 2013, 11:31 PM Apr 2013

"If you are a woman, then you are beautiful."

It's not that I disagree, but what is it with that?

What if the same was said about "men"?

Yeah, yeah, I know... it doesn't NEED to be said because the burden of being looked at and appraised is all on women! So they need to be reassured of their beauty. So beauty is not important, but it is! But only inner beauty and all woman are beautiful. Because the message from the oppressive patriarchy must be countered!

...or something.

The semi-famous Dove Beauty Bar commercial (brought to you by the same folks that sell Axe Deoderant Spray as the way for men to have women (finally) make the moves on them...) is nothing more than an good commercial that purchases brand loyalty with Oprah-style feel goodiness.

But it does beg some questions... Are indeed ALL women beautiful? Why do they need to be told so and to feel so? Do all men demand that they be viewed as handsome? Where are the messages of self-confidence and self-love for men from the great Patriarchal oppressor?

If indeed all humans are the same in their basic emotional needs, where precisely is all the self-coddling that men get? Where is their "All men are beautiful" message.

It is ironic to see that in HOF, in the thread about this subject, there is a person who actually throws out "Men always think they are more attractive than they are" -AND IS UNAWARE OF THE HYPOCRISY AND IRONY. She wants to make men know how unattractive they are while at the same time acknowledging that all women should understand how beautiful THEY are.

Boy men suck. They are ugly inside and out. They oppress women. And they have no emotional needs.

They really should just change the name of that forum because it's relationship to Feminism as a political goal is very much an afterthought to the true goal of tearing and ripping at men for what they have done to them.

Alert away. I call it like I see it.

14 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
"If you are a woman, then you are beautiful." (Original Post) Bonobo Apr 2013 OP
"Men always think they are more attractive than they are" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #1
This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #2
Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #3
This is a pretty disgusting reply ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #4
It just goes to show that ugly has a lot more to do with one's mindset Major Nikon Apr 2013 #9
I'm not surprised that there are lonely, socially inept people, for instance, on dating sites. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #5
Yup, that is why they are on those sites. Bonobo Apr 2013 #6
Average poop... Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #7
A better example of average poop... Bonobo Apr 2013 #8
true dat. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #11
While attempting to "educate" the owner of the site on how to run it.... opiate69 Apr 2013 #12
Odd.... how people don't appreciate being talked to like they're errant kindergarteners. Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #13
Particularly when.... opiate69 Apr 2013 #14
When people discuss the problem of body self-image, they often have a good point. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #10

ProudToBeBlueInRhody

(16,399 posts)
1. "Men always think they are more attractive than they are"
Tue Apr 23, 2013, 01:17 AM
Apr 2013

Wow, really?

Once again, proof they know jack shit about what it's like to be a man.

Response to ProudToBeBlueInRhody (Reply #1)

Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
5. I'm not surprised that there are lonely, socially inept people, for instance, on dating sites.
Tue Apr 23, 2013, 02:17 AM
Apr 2013

What is surprising is that there are people who have nothing better to do than scan said dating sites for examples of said lonely ineptitude, for public hate, mocking and shaming.

It's pretty weird. And fucked up.

Okay, I looked at the OK Cupid tumblr link in question, and I think the issue around it is someone's completely un-calibrated "they're putting you on" meter. (Gee, where have we seen that before? )

Half, or more, of those "propositions" are clearly someone trolling, or fucking around, or being a general, deliberate idiot/ass.

(That doesn't mean they're great guys- far from it- but I don't believe the majority are serious.)

Which, as anyone who has spent any time on DU -particularly MIRT- knows, is what a lot of people do with their internet connections.

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
6. Yup, that is why they are on those sites.
Tue Apr 23, 2013, 03:08 AM
Apr 2013

And to hold that up as an example of "what men are like" in general is ridiculously disingenuous.

It would be like going to IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) convention to determine what an average poop looked like.

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
12. While attempting to "educate" the owner of the site on how to run it....
Tue Apr 23, 2013, 01:30 PM
Apr 2013

That takes a special kind of cluelessness.

 

opiate69

(10,129 posts)
14. Particularly when....
Tue Apr 23, 2013, 02:47 PM
Apr 2013

Those doing the lecturing continually prove, with every fallacious post, that they're just frankly not very smart...

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
10. When people discuss the problem of body self-image, they often have a good point.
Tue Apr 23, 2013, 09:44 AM
Apr 2013

"I'm (fat/ugly/skinny) therefore I'm worthless."
"No you're not! You're beautiful!"

The unfinished part of that second sentence is... "therefore you do have worth". If you are unsuccessful in convincing the person that she is beautiful then you've reinforced her appraisal of her self worth, since you have implicitly tied her worth to her beauty.

Part of the hypocrisy comes from jealousy. Sure, we're all judged on our physical appearance, but the average man comparatively doesn't give a shit what our critics think of our looks. Given the choice between being called ugly or stupid, for me the preference goes to ugly - every time.

My inherent worth has nothing to do with my appearance. Your self worth has nothing to do with your appearance. Her self worth has nothing to do with her appearance.

Men suck? No. And besides, there's very little to eat down in the Morlock caves. It's better to let us out in public.

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