Grandaughter arrested for heroin possession

[womanofthehills]

She has to appear in NM district court for a class 4 felony within the next month. She has no prior arrests. Our only hope for her is that
the judge orders Drug Court and probation. She is impossible to talk to - claims she is innocent of charges - but reports & video show definite evidence. She thinks the judge is going to just let her walk - we hope not.

She went to detox once, but would not go to follow up therapy - she just wanted to detox so she could still do drugs but not be dependent. The very sad part is she has a five yr old son who loves his mommy. We took him away for 6 months and he started having emotional problems - she was doing better for a while so we let her have him a few days a week if she took him to preschool during the day. She was doing pretty good and all of a sudden she has gotten worse and we had to take him away again.

She will not admit she takes drugs so it's impossible to help her. My daughter and I are beyond upset - worried she will overdose before she goes to court.

Any suggestions ?

[MADem]

1. Have you tried seeking advice from people in Al-Anon?

Maybe they might have some ideas.

Can't imagine what you're dealing with--must be terrible and angst-producing. I hope things get better for you and your family. You are a good granmama and g-granmama. That little boy is lucky to have you and the stability you are providing to him.

[womanofthehills]

4. I need to look into Al-Anon

Thanks for the suggestion MADem.

[mountain grammy]

2. My daughter has been on suboxon with counseling for a year now,

Working and getting her life back together, but we're not foolish enough to think we're out of the woods. My heart goes out to you. Addiction is a terrible thing, but you are not alone. Someday, maybe we'll learn how to treat addicts in this country. Hoping for the best for your granddaughter, and all of you. A felony! that's a tough one.

[womanofthehills]

5. Glad to hear your daughter is doing well

Actually, we are glad for the felony - we are hoping she gets Drug Court and probation.

What motivated your daughter to get her life on track?

[mountain grammy]

9. Oh, she still struggles with it..

but, for now, she has a good counselor and is working on it, one day at a time. I honestly believe making criminals out of addicts is not the answer, and has does far more harm than good, but that said, the thought of an overdose is terrifying. My kid had a close call and started counseling after that. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

[Dr. Xavier]

3. I have been a criminal defense lawyer for the

last 29 years. I can't tell you the number of times a parent or a grandparent, has had their heart broken right in front of me. Take care of the little boy and help him. Your daughter needs help but until she admits it, there is nothing anyone can do. Please just help your grandson because he needs you now, more than ever. Blessings and thoughts.

[womanofthehills]

6. Hi Dr.Xavier

In your experience, what usually happens in district court on first time drug possession? I know each state is different and NM has Drug Court - but I think you need to be clean initially to get into the program.

My little great grandson is so smart and so lovable - thanks for the concern.

[notawinger]

7. Sorry to hear this

My son is an addict, nothing has helped him. I do not know if he will ever get well I can only hope and pray. Best of luck to your Grandchild. Heroin has become an epidemic in this country I hope to see our elected officials do something to help these people.

[Stuart G]

8. Also sorry to hear this

Please keep us informed, and we will do our best to support you here. Please go to a few Al Anon meetings. You will find support there. You are not alone with this. Best Wishes today and everyday.

Also My experience with drug abuse, a very long time, is that no one stays off, unless he/she has moment of clarity when they have this powerful thought that they are an addict/dependent on it and want to stay off forever...

You got to stay away from the stuff all together in order to make significant changes and improvements in your life. That is my opinion ...good luck..also..please take care of the little boy, he is going to need it.

[TygrBright]

10. It's impossible to predict what the court will do.

It'll depend on the judge, the day, the other cases being heard, the evidence, the testimony, and a dozen other factors. Will she be appearing in LV or Santa Rosa?

I am assuming she's an adult, and the Adult Drug Court info for District 4 is here.

You might try contacting them in advance, explaining the situation with respect to your grandchild, and finding out what the options would be.

One thing that I do know is there are very limited treatment options anywhere in New Mexico. In your area, probably outpatient treatment at Rio Grande ATP is the likeliest option. For a first felony, it may not include jail time, but you might contact Sangre de Cristo House in Pena Blanca and find out if they've got their IOP program going yet, and whether she'd be eligible.

None of this is helpful, though, if she's not willing to admit she has a problem, and if she doesn't want to change more than anything else.

The suggestion above, about Al-anon, is a good one. Addiction is a family disease, the most useful thing you can do is protect your grandchild and focus on your own recovery.

wryly,
Bright

[womanofthehills]

11. Thanks for all this good information!

I will call the Adult Drug Court today to find out her options.

She lives in Albuquerque so I don't know if the Sangre de Cristo House would be available to her but I will check.

[madville]

12. The bottom line is

she won't get better until she wants to help herself and can admit she has a problem, unfortunately you have no control over her addiction. Part of it is her facing the reality and consequences of her actions on her own.

No detox or program or rehab or counseling will ever work unless she WANTS it to work. It doesn't sound like she's at that point yet. She's still at the stage where she's the "victim" in her mind and won't take any responsibility for her own actions. Hopefully she will have her "moment" sooner rather than later and help herself.

You are powerless over her but you can work on yourself. Programs like Al-Anon can help. The child is lucky to have you all.