Someone close to me has just been diagnosed with

[murielm99]

adult autism. Does anyone here have this? How do I help them?

It is not me! Honest! I have enough health issues!

[Louis1895]

1. Your friend should look for a neurodivergent-affirming therapist.

After years of therapy (going back to first grade), my highly-intelligent daughter was diagnosed as being on the "autism spectrum" in her early thirties (within the last three years). The diagnosis has been very helpful in explaining many issues (largely interpersonal skills). She has finally found a therapist who is also on the autism spectrum so my daughter is receiving help from someone who understands why she is "different" and is helping her move forward with life. (Right now, my daughter is house-bound because of anxiety.)

One place to start is this website: https://ndtherapists.com (a Neurodivergent Therapist directory).

In the past, when I brought up the possibility that my daughter was on the spectrum to her therapists, they pooh-poohed the idea, saying it mostly affected boys and that she did not exhibit typical characteristics (that were largely based on the study of boys). We finally went to a therapist who suggested my daughter was autistic (without my prodding). She has been officially diagnosed by a psychologist who specializes in autism testing, and this result has opened new doors for my daughter.

[applegrove]

2. There are those far away from me who think I have autism.

I am dyslexic which is the opposite of autism in the brain (like dyslexics everywhere my long term episodic memory is excellent), i have conduction aphasia so I am thinking in pictures in my head when I speak so may not pick up on others cues and drone, and I turn into a party girl when I drink (I'm an alcoholic so don't drink). So that is way off. I have no memory for detailed information so it is obviously not autism and an assault on me to be diagnosed from afar.

[EarthAbides]

3. Masking

About a year ago I read an article about masking and realized this behavior is something I have done all my life. I retook the online autism screening tests and answered the questions the way I really was and not what I wanted to be... yes, a lot more on the spectrum. I am looking to get officially diagnosed, but tele-health is my only option for therapy and I live in a studio bungalow with my husband and I am not comfortable with zoom calls.... so I carry on. But, if I am autistic it will help explain my crippling anxiety I have experienced all my life. Holding a job and let alone following a career path was unobtainable for me, so I pretty much failed or ran from anything. I always thought that I was spoiled rotten, if I am autistic, then their was a reason for my anxiety. It will help a lot to know! Since coming to this conclusion my life, this past year, has been on a more even keel, I feel a lot less guilt and understand a lot more about what I am capable of and what I should avoid like the plague. I hope the person close to you finds peace with the diagnosis.

[Warpy]

4. Autism presents very differently in women than in men

which is why it was totally missed for decades. Now that it's finally being recognized, the suspicion is that there are as many female autistics as male. Women fell through a chasm, not a crack, because no one cared.

Talk to your friend. I'll bet the diagnosis came as a relief. The person who diagnosed her can explain her differences--and strengths--and why some people react so negatively to her. This might be helpful, bothfor you and for her: