After many years I am getting a marker for my husband

[Marthe48]

My dear husband died in 2017 and I had him cremated. I plan to be cremated as well, hoping our kids will scatter our ashes where we met. I do some geneaology and have used Find a Grave to locate the final resting place of many of my relatives. I realized that if future generations are looking, they wouldn't find us. So, for vanity, I guess, I decided to get a marker set somewhere. My husband's family has been in the U.S. since the 2nd crossing of the Mayflower and there are many relatives buried in many places.

About 10 years ago, we went on a Tombstone Tour (nickname came from my brother-in-law) with my husband's uncle, and visited numerous graves to lay flowers. My husband and I were surprised to learn that his maternal great grandparents were buried in a cemetery in our town. The 2nd time we went on the Tombstone Tour, I took notes and my husband took pictures of the headstones, so we have a record of which relatives are buried where. Our uncle just passed away this year at age 96, so I am glad we went with him, and we have some of his trove of family lore saved. I thought about getting a marker in the cemetery where my inlaws and maternal grandparents are buried, but that is about 1 hr. away. I decided to check local cemeteries and was delighted to learn that the older cemetery in town, where his maternal g. grandparents rest, had plots available. I asked about getting a spot by his g.grandparents, just to get started. To my delight, there is a space left in the family plot and we can use it. I just found out today. I love the continuity.

On top of having the exact spot I wanted, there won't be any charge, beause the spot was paid for long ago. I am not interring my husband, so there won't be a cost for that. I will make a donation when the time comes.

Just wanted to share today's experience. Seems to fit in the Geneaology topic.

[CountAllVotes]

1. That's great news for you!

Glad you found out about this!

I found two plots that my great great grandfather and my great grand uncle purchased around 1900 or so that are located at Holy Cross cemetery in Colma, Calif.

There are a lot of empty spaces there too (both plots).

I wonder if they'd let me had a tombstone erected there for my late husband?

He was cremated as well and his ashes were scattered in the San Francisco Bay.

This has been very recent, too recent in fact (May of this year!). So sad I am and maybe a tombstone might help to remember him as no one in his immediate family seemed to care.

Glad to know about this and I wish you the very best!

Take care.

CountAllVotes

[Marthe48]

3. You are welcome!

I am sorry for your loss. I waited a very long time to get to this, just couldn't before now. You should check with the cemetery. The funeral home who handled my husband's arrangements were very helpful getting me started and the staff at the cemetery were super helpful. The clerk said that back then, around 1900, family or friends would join up and share the cost of a plot. probably why you have some spots left. I am getting a marker made with both of our names. If your cemetery association doesn't want to give your husband a spot, maybe they'll let you set a marker with both your names. If your husband was a veteran, his military branch will give you a small metal grave marker for free. I haven't got the flat marker for my husband, but the local Veteran's presented our family with a Vietnam Era marker on a spike I will place later.

My Dad's parents bought a plot in Lakeview Cemetery in Cleveland, and there is one grave left. When my Dad's cousin died, I tried to see if she could be buried there. It turned out that only directly related descendants could be given the spot, unless all direct living relatives gave permission. I have one cousin on that side that wouldn't have agreed, so I helped my dad's cousin's daughter, my 3rd cousin, make other arrangements.

[Irish_Dem]

2. This is so wonderful. Love it.

Totally fitting and meaningful to be with his gt grandparents.
He has come full circle, back with his ancestors.

[Marthe48]

4. Exactly!

You said exactly how I feel about where his marker will be. Thank you!

[70sEraVet]

5. I, too, am a believer in the importance of continuity when it comes to gravesites!

My mother and grandparents (I was raised by my maternal grandparents) are buried at the Veterans National Cemetery in Nashville. I had them buried there. When our time comes, I expect my wife and I to be buried there.