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NNadir

(36,095 posts)
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 08:19 AM Jun 14

We're thinking today is our cat's last day.

Last edited Sat Jun 14, 2025, 06:37 PM - Edit history (1)

She's 18, not eating, extremely thin and passive.

She's just passively sitting behind the door in what was once my son's room, breathing heavily. She's not eating, not going anywhere.

We have a vet appointment this afternoon; we won't be able to go to the large protest in Princeton, although a smaller one will be held in our town around 11:00. We're not even sure if it's cruel to put her in the carrier to take her to the vet.

I don't know if I believe that other cats "can tell" but the young recently post kittenhood cat we're watching for my son seems upset.

I'm staying downstairs, catching up on reading papers to keep my mind off it. We've had her for 12 years, ever since my sister-in-law asked us to watch her for a few weeks.

I don't think I'll cry, but I will miss her greeting me at the door when I come home from work.

Update: It's done. We had a very compassionate vet, who let us know that her vital signs were fading and it was time, and left the decision - which we'd already made - to us. It was clear she wouldn't have made it through the night. We were with her at the end. I did cry. I didn't think I would, but I did.

Thanks to all here for the sympathy and advice.

45 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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We're thinking today is our cat's last day. (Original Post) NNadir Jun 14 OP
I am so sorry. The only bad thing about pets is, they have such short lives. Our kitty is 15 now and not LiberalLoner Jun 14 #1
She will remember you all and your love. Always. CurtEastPoint Jun 14 #2
Your lucky.. dognap9 Jun 14 #3
Welcome to our DU family. niyad Jun 14 #14
Nice Post ProfessorGAC Jun 14 #37
Welcome to DU LetMyPeopleVote Jun 14 #40
So sad to hear; her condition sounds bad. We lost both of my Mom's cats a couple of years ago -- both about that age. eppur_se_muova Jun 14 #4
Thank you for your advice. We are prepared, in fact, we've been expecting it all year. I never had a cat that lived... NNadir Jun 14 #9
Thank you for making the vet appointment biophile Jun 14 #5
So very sad. FalloutShelter Jun 14 #6
I'm so sorry to hear this. SheltieLover Jun 14 #7
This hurts so much... and there seem to have so many over the last few days. slightlv Jun 14 #8
So sorry. I hope you find comfort in the happy memories left behind. littlemissmartypants Jun 14 #10
Ouch. I'm truly sorry for you and your cat's shared pain today. mjvpi Jun 14 #11
I am so so sorry. May her passing be easy irisblue Jun 14 #12
Your post choked me up. Your experience so closely mirrored my experience with my pal's last day. Fla Dem Jun 14 #13
I am so sorry. piddyprints Jun 14 #15
Remember what you had not what you lost. You did your best. Good on you. twodogsbarking Jun 14 #16
Lady Bast, please take your little one gently home in Your loving arms, niyad Jun 14 #17
I'm so sorry NNadir, JMCKUSICK Jun 14 #18
We recently helped one of our 16 yr old dachshunds SARose Jun 14 #19
Depending on what is happening RockCreek Jun 14 #20
Losing part of the family MaineNative Jun 14 #21
Your sweet girl...😪 Clouds Passing Jun 14 #22
So sorry to hear this wryter2000 Jun 14 #23
I'm so sorry. It always seems to be the worst day ever when they take the final vet visit, but I've Vinca Jun 14 #24
I'm so sorry. calimary Jun 14 #25
Holding you in my heart. It's so difficult when the Last Kindness is needed... n/t TygrBright Jun 14 #26
My aged cat was blind and lost the use of her back legs The Blue Flower Jun 14 #27
I am so very sorry and I am sending big hugs. hamsterjill Jun 14 #28
(((hugs))) samnsara Jun 14 #31
ive had vets come to my house when my dogs time was up... samnsara Jun 14 #29
It's so sad to have to let them go, even if they're old and sick. Ocelot II Jun 14 #30
Wishing a peaceful transition TommyT139 Jun 14 #32
I feel for you Hey Joe Jun 14 #33
It is hard to say goodbye to a family member LetMyPeopleVote Jun 14 #34
My Ex was a euthanasia tech and I use to aid multigraincracker Jun 14 #35
I am so sorry. LoisB Jun 14 #36
Our Sympathies ProfessorGAC Jun 14 #38
Hold her and love her Figarosmom Jun 14 #39
All cats know they are dying but I never euthanize because Nigrum Cattus Jun 14 #41
Aw that's sad wendyb-NC Jun 14 #42
huggggggggs and tears niyad Jun 14 #43
I am so sorry. Dear_Prudence Jun 14 #44
I am so sorry for your loss, NNadir. MIButterfly Jun 15 #45

LiberalLoner

(11,454 posts)
1. I am so sorry. The only bad thing about pets is, they have such short lives. Our kitty is 15 now and not
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 08:24 AM
Jun 14

Doing all that well anymore.

It leaves a hole in our hearts when our fur babies die.



dognap9

(1 post)
3. Your lucky..
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 08:32 AM
Jun 14

You’re lucky that you had your cat for such a long time, 18 is pretty old for a cat to live. That being said sorry for your pain, pets can easily be like our children we love and take care of them and nothing can replace them. Hope all goes well, if not you have given your pet a good home, it won’t forget you and more often than not when they pass they come back to visit. Usually in the first two weeks. Our 2 cats both did.

ProfessorGAC

(73,332 posts)
37. Nice Post
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 12:25 PM
Jun 14

Welcome to DU!
BTW: last April we lost a kitty to old age. She was 20!
Got her as an abandoned pet from the vet near our house. Malnourishment caused some stunted growth so she was a little bitty thing.

eppur_se_muova

(39,250 posts)
4. So sad to hear; her condition sounds bad. We lost both of my Mom's cats a couple of years ago -- both about that age.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 08:35 AM
Jun 14

Be emotionally prepared to make a tough decision this afternoon. You may find your vet can offer some treatment that will keep her alive a little longer, but it may not be worth it in terms of quality of life.

Due to holidays, no vets open on weekends, and Mom's health at the time, I ended up bringing them both home, where they died in obvious suffering (I knew better the second time, but it was the damned New Year's weekend when she suddenly started to suffer severe decline). Once cats go into that last decline, things happen fast. Apparently kidney failure is a common cause of death in cats, and once the kidneys go, there's no saving them. Don't prolong the agony, for her or yourself, if you can help it. I wish I had been faster to choose euthanasia, but hated to do it for Mom's cats when she wasn't really aware at the time what was happening. Looking back on it, I made a mistake not to.

(((NNadir)))

NNadir

(36,095 posts)
9. Thank you for your advice. We are prepared, in fact, we've been expecting it all year. I never had a cat that lived...
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:06 AM
Jun 14

...this long, but all of my previous cats were outdoor cats and died from cars or simply disappeared.

biophile

(791 posts)
5. Thank you for making the vet appointment
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 08:41 AM
Jun 14

I hate to see an animal suffer while lingering when euthanasia can provide a generally peaceful release.

FalloutShelter

(13,504 posts)
6. So very sad.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 08:46 AM
Jun 14

I have helped many pets leave. They will always live in your memory and your heart.

slightlv

(5,934 posts)
8. This hurts so much... and there seem to have so many over the last few days.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:05 AM
Jun 14

I've noticed as seasons change, the elderly tend to die more at this time than others. I'm beginning to wonder if the change in seasons affects our companions, as well. Both my Mom's cats died at seasons' change; and come to think of it, so did my Mom. She died one day before the first big snowfall here this year.

So many of my rescues had health issues, and tho I babied many to their late teens and 20's, I can't help but think their health was compromised. The cat I can't seem to stop mourning died just before the start of a heatwave, but I have other issues I think affected her.

But NNadir, I think you will grieve when the time comes. And it's okay. We've all been through it so many times here. It seems like our entire lives can be counted by the paw traces on our hearts. Mine goes out to you today. Take it easy on yourself. Peace...

littlemissmartypants

(28,303 posts)
10. So sorry. I hope you find comfort in the happy memories left behind.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:09 AM
Jun 14

"And can it be that in a world
so full and busy, the loss of one
creature makes a void so wide
and deep that nothing but the width
and depth of eternity can fill it up!"

~Charles Dickens

❤️

mjvpi

(1,673 posts)
11. Ouch. I'm truly sorry for you and your cat's shared pain today.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:12 AM
Jun 14

I have held four furry friends at the vet after making the hard choice with my wife and our vet. I hate the feeling of wondering if I’m prolonging the suffering of a true friend of 15 years for selfishness. I write this lying in bed covered by two cats. The downstairs tribe. Our upstairs girl has shaved spots from ultrasound prep and glucose monitors as we help her with diabetes. The Grateful Dead taught me about the beauty in a moment. The brevity and beauty of life are interconnected. It can be devastating when it ends, but the sweet, short time it existed is the point. 18 years is a damn good run.

Fla Dem

(26,856 posts)
13. Your post choked me up. Your experience so closely mirrored my experience with my pal's last day.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:25 AM
Jun 14

She too was 18 and was with me since she was a kitten. Although she passed about year and a half ago, I still miss her.

It is so difficult to let a beloved pet go, but in the end, it's the pet you have to think about.

Peace be with you when you make that final visit to the vet and peace to her, she knows she was loved.

piddyprints

(14,972 posts)
15. I am so sorry.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:38 AM
Jun 14


You gave her a great, long life. Wow! Good for you for giving her this last gift.

We lost all 3 of our oldies last year, at age 17 1/2, 17 3/4 and 21. We carried them around to the others and let them sniff before taking them. They all knew. Our 10-year-old cat mourned for some time.

Yes, you will miss her. I hope the sadness turns to joy one day when you remember her.



niyad

(124,796 posts)
17. Lady Bast, please take your little one gently home in Your loving arms,
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:41 AM
Jun 14

and send peace and comfort to her grieving loved ones.

I am so very sorry to hear about your precious little one. We are all here with you. Question: could the vet perhaps make a home visit, rather than subjecting her to such stress for what needs to be done?


JMCKUSICK

(2,898 posts)
18. I'm so sorry NNadir,
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:49 AM
Jun 14

If I may, I would suggest getting an old towel, picking up your cat and holding her as she crosses the rainbow bridge. My guess is she won't make it to the appointment from what you describe. A great time to thank her, reassure her, and yes, allow the love and joy that you two shared to overwhelm you if it does.
From all of us to you, we're holding you dear and near.

SARose

(1,633 posts)
19. We recently helped one of our 16 yr old dachshunds
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 09:49 AM
Jun 14

cross over. It was a terrible day but we are grateful we could help our loyal, faithful companion die pain free.

Love and light

Rose

RockCreek

(1,003 posts)
20. Depending on what is happening
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 10:04 AM
Jun 14

steroids can give cats a short last period when they are themselves, and at least don't appear to be in pain.
They seemed to give my cat named Joy an extra couple weeks to be herself and for all of us to say goodbye. She had cancer, and died at 16. They also allowed her to die at home.
But it all depends on what is happening.

MaineNative

(49 posts)
21. Losing part of the family
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 10:05 AM
Jun 14

is never easy. We wish you peace during this trying time. We will protest for you, we’ve got this.

Vinca

(52,305 posts)
24. I'm so sorry. It always seems to be the worst day ever when they take the final vet visit, but I've
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 10:50 AM
Jun 14

found they have their way of telling you it's time. 18 years is a very good life for a cat.

calimary

(86,854 posts)
25. I'm so sorry.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 10:56 AM
Jun 14

Shit, every time I look at our cats, I can’t help but wonder when we’ll have to face that, too.

It’s not gonna be easy. I’ve often felt like it helped to think of the Rainbow Bridge, and how many old four-legged friends I hope to see after my time comes.

And yeah, maybe it’s just a comfort mechanism for a time like this. But I’ve found it to be helpful. AND talking about it. With your friends who’ll know and understand, and empathize. Cuz many of them have gone through this themselves.

Here’s a hug ((((((*))))))

The Blue Flower

(5,963 posts)
27. My aged cat was blind and lost the use of her back legs
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:03 AM
Jun 14

She couldn't have survived intestinal blockage and not being able to get to her water bowl. There would have been real suffering, so it was time. I took her to the vet. They agreed it was time. So I sat beside her and stroked her as she got the shots that set her free. She was calm and knew she was loved. I never regretted the decision. After all the love they give us, the least we can do is give them a good death if it's in our power to.

hamsterjill

(16,066 posts)
28. I am so very sorry and I am sending big hugs.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:07 AM
Jun 14

I lost a baby yesterday and posted about it in Pets. Yes, other cats can tell and they grieve just like humans.

The loss of them just makes a huge, gigantic hole and it hurts. It is hard to make that decision when you are faced with it, but it is the last heroic act for them.

Thank you for loving her for all of those years, providing her safety and comfort, and for your desire to make sure she doesn't suffer needlessly. All hollow words, I know, when faced with this.

Peace and comfort to your entire family - both 2leggeed and 4legged.

samnsara

(18,560 posts)
29. ive had vets come to my house when my dogs time was up...
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:11 AM
Jun 14

..if thats an option go for it. Its easier on us mere humans too.

Godspeed sweet kitty... what a GOOD little friend you are! (((hugs)))

Ocelot II

(125,629 posts)
30. It's so sad to have to let them go, even if they're old and sick.
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:12 AM
Jun 14

My Pixie passed away in February at age 17; she'd had chronic kidney disease for awhile but suddenly took a turn. She'd become lethargic and was breathing hard and wouldn't eat, so I got her to the vet. They looked her over, did some tests, and determined that she had heart disease and a possible tumor near her heart, and she was unlikely to last much longer - so we decided to help her across the Bridge as I held her. It was really hard; she'd been with me since she was a kitten, and I still keep expecting to see her in her usual spot on the couch, or following me upstairs at bedtime. I get it. Peaceful passing to your kitty.

TommyT139

(1,572 posts)
32. Wishing a peaceful transition
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:14 AM
Jun 14

If this is an option, some regions have vets that make final house calls, to avoid a stressful car ride. (Perhaps others can benefit from that info.)

Hey Joe

(80 posts)
33. I feel for you
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:18 AM
Jun 14

Lost our cat Andy, several years ago.
He was 16 years old and boy did that hurt.
He lost weight and was lethargic and we knew he was suffering.
Vet put him down and he died in our arms. Wife and I cried plenty but he was worth every tear.
He gave us sixteen years of love and joy.
Peace to you

multigraincracker

(35,925 posts)
35. My Ex was a euthanasia tech and I use to aid
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 11:50 AM
Jun 14

her some times. Saw dogs, cats and farm animals in great pain. The first shot relaxed them and seem to take away the pain. The second one worked quickly with no pain. Just that final sigh and gone.
When I get that sick, I wish they could take me to the vet.

ProfessorGAC

(73,332 posts)
38. Our Sympathies
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 12:27 PM
Jun 14

It's the hardest thing we pet people have to handle. We lost 2 within 6 weeks, last year. Tough stuff.
Take care.

Nigrum Cattus

(687 posts)
41. All cats know they are dying but I never euthanize because
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 04:05 PM
Jun 14

Cats are carnivores, and subsequently, they understand death.
Sometimes people think they are helping. We will all stand at
the final day & I know after all I have done, experienced, and shared,
I don't want/need anything other than comfort as I pass.

wendyb-NC

(4,363 posts)
42. Aw that's sad
Sat Jun 14, 2025, 05:42 PM
Jun 14

I'm sorry, it's hard when it's their time. 18 is a solid good lifespan for a cat. I'll bet she had a very good life with you and your family. Peace

MIButterfly

(700 posts)
45. I am so sorry for your loss, NNadir.
Sun Jun 15, 2025, 01:23 AM
Jun 15

It's so hard to say to goodbye to our furbabies. I wish I knew the right words to say to comfort you. I hope memories of your cat will eventually bring you joy. My heart goes out to you and your family on this sad day.

Rest in peace, dear kitty. You were loved.

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