"My Dad Was Gay -- But Married To My Mom"

[mahatmakanejeeves]

HUFFPOST PERSONAL
My Dad Was Gay — But Married To My Mom

For 64 Years. As She Died, I Overheard Something I Can't Forget.

"Had I been wrong about my dad — this man I knew to be so wonderful and caring and loving, not only to my mom and my siblings and me, but seemingly to everyone he knew?"

By Laura Hall
Jun 29, 2025, 08:32 AM EDT


The author's parents, Irene Hall, age 21, and Ralph Hall, age 27, in Pacific Grove, California, in 1945. COURTESY OF LAURA HALL

My father was gay. He was born in 1918. In my 20s, he started telling me stories about his early life. He was out in the 1930s at a time when it wasn’t common. He had dreams that most would not believe he dared to dream. The problem with my dad telling me all of this was that he was still married to my mother.

In 1939, at a party in the Hollywood Hills with gay filmmakers and musicians, he was arrested. Police officers handcuffed the men, herded them into a van, and took them to jail. The following morning, he appeared before a judge for sentencing. Because the arresting officer couldn’t swear that he saw him touching his dance partner, he was released.

Then he was caught up in an illegal sting operation in Pasadena that targeted gay men. They were extorted by the police for cash payments in return for conditional release. His dreams of being a schoolteacher and living with his boyfriend were destroyed.

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The author's father, Ralph, living as an out gay man, in Central Valley, California, in 1937.COURTESY OF LAURA HALL

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[ShazzieB]

1. What a beautiful, moving story.

Heartbreaking but somehow joyous and inspiring at the same time. The author's parents were handed lemons but found a way to make the best lemonade possible out of them.

It's tragic when someone has to live their life hiding who they are but these were two people who obviously loved each other to the best of their ability and made each other as happy as it was possible for them to be, under the circumstances in which they found themselves. My hat is off to both of them.