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Humor

littlemissmartypants

(30,698 posts) Fri Sep 12, 2025, 02:03 AM Sep 12

Horoscopes from the Onion

https://theonion.com/horoscopes/

5 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Horoscopes from the Onion (Original Post) littlemissmartypants Sep 12 OP

Lol! ZZenith Sep 12 #1

Those are hilarious! WestMichRad Sep 12 #2

That's funny 👍👍 TommieMommy Sep 12 #3

Mine Pisces Old Crank Sep 12 #4

The one for Aquarius cracked me up. mwmisses4289 Sep 12 #5

ZZenith

(4,434 posts)

1. Lol!

Reply to littlemissmartypants (Original post)

Fri Sep 12, 2025, 02:07 AM

Sep 12

“ Gemini (May 21 to June 20): On the bright side, the news is going to do a whole segment on your accident.”

WestMichRad

(2,737 posts)

2. Those are hilarious!

Reply to littlemissmartypants (Original post)

Fri Sep 12, 2025, 09:19 AM

Sep 12

Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Your patience will soon be rewarded with even more shit to put up with.

TommieMommy

(2,453 posts)

3. That's funny 👍👍

Reply to littlemissmartypants (Original post)

Fri Sep 12, 2025, 01:24 PM

Sep 12

Old Crank

(6,360 posts)

4. Mine Pisces

Reply to littlemissmartypants (Original post)

Fri Sep 12, 2025, 02:41 PM

Sep 12

Fits too well.

mwmisses4289

(2,600 posts)

5. The one for Aquarius cracked me up.

Reply to littlemissmartypants (Original post)

Fri Sep 12, 2025, 09:58 PM

Sep 12

Aquarius

(January 20 to February 18):

Keep your mind and heart closed until further notice.

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