I don't know how to

[ohheckyeah]

deal with this kind of pain. I miss my dad more than I thought possible.

[F4lconF16]

1. I don't know what to say

And I've never really had to deal with it either, but seeing as no one else seems to be up, I can at least offer an ear if you want it.

[ohheckyeah]

2. Thank you,

it just hit me and I'm not usually real emotional. It doesn't help that I may never walk again. Between the stroke and Dad's death I'm a mess.

[F4lconF16]

4. Oof...

I can't imagine. That's rough. Do you have any friends or family to help out at the moment?

My ex girlfriend had to deal with the loss of her dad and years of serious health and mental problems as well... It's never easy. She's a hell of a tough cookie, but dealing with all that at once sucks.

I'd bake you some brownies, as that always seemed to help her, but given that I don't have a clue who you are, that might be a bit of a challenge.

[ohheckyeah]

5. My husband has been wonderful

but I haven't seen my mom or siblings since the memorial service. I talk to my mom daily.

[MADem]

3. It is pretty horrible, isn't it?

All I can tell you, from painful experience, is that the gut-wrenching feeling does, in time, recede. You'll know you're past the worst of it when you can look at a picture without feeling that hurt, or share a fond memory without feeling bereft.

It's a process with its own timeline, but it helps to have someone who knows what you are going through and/or shares your loss.

If you still feel lost after weeks and months go by, you might want to see if there's a bereavement group IRL that you can join near you. If you have a massive family, they can serve in that role.

If you're having trouble coping after a long while, you could talk to a doc about medicinal options to get you past the worst of it.

I can tell you it does get better. It's never going to be the same, but fond memories are a treasure, even though they're painful right now. Hang in there....

[ohheckyeah]

6. Thanks MADem.

They (my family) were trying to protect me by not talking about him and I let them know that the stroke didn't change my need to grieve with them.

[MADem]

7. Let them know that, though stroke can sometimes bring emotions to

the surface more easily, that you can handle it and grieving is cathartic. Once they realize you are tougher than you might physically appear, they can help you through the process.

Religious adherence to physical therapy can help enormously in stroke recovery. I had a relative who was wheelchair bound following a stroke, with slurred speech and no use of his right hand. After a great deal of therapy (I took a year off and did nothing but dog the poor guy...he improved to get rid of me!), he recovered speech completely, recovered the full use of his right arm,got his handwriting back, and is back to his pastime of singing at bars! He still has a limp and will probably always need a cane but he makes it work for him. I will say one 'benefit' of his stroke is that he's more open and honest and far less anxious...almost devil-may-care. There is life after stroke-- get as much therapy as you can, and demand MORE!

It's hard, hard work....but worth it.