Another stepping stone
Mom died last year in January. Since then, I have been caring for my step dad. He went into assisted living about a month after mom passed. About a month ago, he moved back home......probably to die. HE made it clear to me that he wanted to die at home where he and mom enjoyed their last 20 years. Although he really needed to remain at the assisted living facility, I facilitated the move back home. I have two women working 12 hr shifts attending him at home. It's a lot harder on me and a lot more expensive, but it's one of his final wishes I could make come true, so.....
His home health nurse called a few days ago and suggested calling in hospice, which I did. They have been really helpful. One of the gals who is attending him has known him for some time, and she is really great in giving him care. She also has some emotional attachment, and it's hard for her seeing him so fragile and in the end stages of life. I'm pretty sure we're in the final days, mainly from the symptoms he's exhibiting. HE sleeps 20 hrs a day, has begun getting fluid in his lungs and is experiencing some rather difficult constipation episodes.
I've kind of began the grieving process because I know the end is near. Since losing my wife four yrs ago, her best friend a year later, my mom and a granddaughter last year, death is no stranger......just another phase of the journey. Despite having some difficult situations myself to deal with, I will soon be taking on the responsibility of handling his estate when he passes. Just me and my brother, so won't be too hard, just time consuming. I have already acquired all the necessary documents, medical directive, medical power of attorney and durable power of attorney. HE has a burial policy, a burial plot awaiting, and a will on file. I have handled all his expenses for the past year and a half, so I know where everything is. Life insurance and burial policies, combination to his safe, where the keys to everything are, and I am on his bank account. That will make everything much easier!
He and I have talked about what particular items he wants passed to certain people that are not covered in his will. I know where they are and who they go to. I think I have most of the bases covered. Though it doesn't necessarily make the grieving easier, it does take the confusion and searching aspect out of the equation.
Now, it's just a matter of making his last days as comfortable as we can. At his age, most of his friends are already gone, but I have notified as many people as I can that if they want to see him, sooner rather than later would be the best.
We don't always have the time to do these things before a loved one passes, but If you do have the opportunity, it will certainly make it easier once they're gone.
I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but if this helps even one person, it's worth the effort.
Bless you all-
Uben
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