Sister in law friend kept asking me out.

[Duncanpup]

I’m not looking or interested or ready been year since I lost Liz i doubt I’ll ever date again.

Sister in law gave my number to friend without permission my youngest brother and her very conservative and they know this lady from the church they attend.

So she was texting me I’m being polite yet she is not understanding I’m not interested yet she keeps pushing the your only 57 we shouldn’t be alone.
And so she text me yesterday asking what would it take for us to go out and see if we have chemistry.

I replied if you wanna get naked on our first date and paint each other with Elmer’s paste we used in elementary school and let me lick it off your elbows ok I’ll go out.

She responded in all caps WHAT.

I replied I’m a freak. Have not heard from her since.

[MOMFUDSKI]

1. Too funny!

Sometimes it’s those church ladies that really let it all hang out. lol. Totally understand you are not ready yet. I would expect your Liz would want you to find someone to be happy with. But in your own time. Take care of yourself.

[Diamond_Dog]

2. People who won't take No for an answer

Biggest PITAs.

And thats wrong to give out your # without your permission. I hope she understands never to do that again.

[Ocelot II]

3. Well played! And I wonder what she'll tell your sister-in-law?

She should have respected where you are personally in the first place, and the persistent church lady shouldn't have needed threats of nakedness to get the hint, but...

[prodigitalson]

19. yeah, we deserve an update to the OP once he has talked to his sister in law or brother

[ShazzieB]

47. I second the motion!

This definitely calls for an update!

[2naSalit]

4. Maybe that...

Will do the trick. It sucks to have people push when you aren't shopping.

I have found that, at a certain point, getting rude is a necessity. You could block her number too.



Anyway, do what feels best for you and one year can be far too early. You need longer than that to heal enough to look up from the trail, if you ever feel the need to.

[Srkdqltr]

5. Have to be careful with that. She might like it.

Excellent.

[Lochloosa]

26. Win win.

[gay texan]

6. Very well played! N/t

[Hope22]

7. Nicely played!😂🤣

Nothing in it for you to actively invite a conservative church lady into the pack! The thought is exhausting! You tried to be nice. Ultimately the freak must fly before they get the message. My guess is your sister in law won’t be passing out your number in the future!
My conservative sister was welcomed at the Thanksgiving table last year. Small gathering. My son, his new wife and four others. At the table She turned to my son’s single male friend and asked what his story was. Was he gay or were they a thruple? This year I had to pass on inviting her. There is no end to the rudeness. Take care and thanks for the laugh!

[Duncanpup]

10. Wow how ignorant

[Goddessartist]

8. Hahahahaha!!!!

What a visual! A naked church lady getting glue licked off of her elbows! I'll bet she thinks about it!

[KS Toronado]

9. What if she said "That's my favorite 2st date!" ?

[twodogsbarking]

11. Parole Officer says I have to be in by nine or back to prison. Where do you want to go?

[Jean Genie]

12. Well done, sir!

Oh you're BAD! That's too funny. Hope she finally got the message!

[twodogsbarking]

13. Good thing she didn't say "sounds like fun". Keep your sense of humor. Things will go your way.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

14. You're my hero. Jello works if you're out of paste.

[MOMFUDSKI]

53. Just reminded me of a guy I worked with. He said he and a gal put wesson oil

on a WATERBED mattress. It disintegrated the waterbed. But he said it was worth it! We all roared with laughter.

[Freethinker65]

15. See if we have chemistry would have sent me running too.

Honestly, meeting up with someone new/relatively unknown (not the pushy chemistry woman) to have adult conversation on a variety of topics might be a positive thing.

[Freddie]

16. My brother, widowed 8 years, is finally dating again

He’s hooking up with a long-ago girlfriend from before he met his wife. She’s married. Ugh.

[littlemissmartypants]

17. I'd block her if it's your cell phone she's contacting.

But before I did it, I'd let her know that you're blocking her.

I would also be tempted to text her if she tries to contact you again, you’d consider her a stalker, which is against the law. But that's my inclination as a woman who's been stalked and had to get a couple of restraining orders.

Being bizarre in your response may have worked for the moment. I suspect that you may be referred to her prayer circle by now.

Don't be surprised if she tries again to check and see how her prayer circle strategy is working.

She's clearly not a sensible or compassionate person. That's proof of no chemistry in itself.

I'm so sorry that you lost your sweetheart. I also understand that anyone else would be a downgrade.

Stay encouraged, Duncanpup. We love you.



Ps: I would have to let SIL know that you don't want you phone number shared again without permission. If you needed her help you would have asked.

I would also have to have SIL tell her friend, that she was wrong to share your number without your permission. I'd also be tempted to have
SIL reiterate to her friend that you're not interested in dating her and she shouldn't contact you again.

I know nothing that I suggest may be your style. But I'm suggesting from my perspective as someone who doesn't like to see another person who's grieving be misunderstood in their grief. It's hard enough as it is. You don't need others making it even more difficult. I guess it's just my INFJ tendency to be protective kicking in. ❤️

[PatSeg]

18. I rather like being alone

I don't understand this obsession some people have with trying to set people up with a mate. A person can be alone without being lonely.

You handled that quite well, being she wasn't willing to take "no" for an answer.

[BigOleDummy]

31. Well said!

Well said indeed.

[PatSeg]

37. Thanks

[Moostache]

20. Greatest reply ever!!!

I spat coffee through my nose on the elmers reply...savage!

[70sEraVet]

21. Its rather disrespectful to your privacy and to your right to grieve.

Both by your SIL and her church friend.
On DU, we have been deeply touched by your willingness to share your pain with us.

[Habibi]

22. lol, good for you! nt

[relayerbob]

23. Having been a widower

I understand your position. But being that incredibly rude is neither funny nor appropriate. Our society seems to be thriving on hurting and fucking with others, and we should not be contributing to that. A simple no, thank you and then moving on is all that is required.

[SarcasticSatyr]

33. Perhaps you misread the original post . . .

He started out very polite and told her repeatedly that he was not interested. Some people have difficulty with the word no. In those cases, a different tactic is required.

[relayerbob]

42. I read the whole post

There was no point in a second response, much less the additional snark and rudeness. You say no, they persist, you block. Very simple.

[Lucky Luciano]

24. ...and what would you have done if she said..."ooo kinky...game on...see you soon..."

[cate94]

25. Lmao

[LakeArenal]

27. She's just lonely. Sad.

[Ziggysmom]

28. People just don't understand. If she's that pushy with everyone, no wonder why she is alone!

I was alone for nearly 10 years, in my forties. I was frequently the subject of matchmaking friends and family. It gets annoying! Even when you are honest with people that you are not interested, they keep pushing. I hope she gets the picture after your funny reply.

[barbtries]

29. It's too soon.

Maybe you won't have to live out your whole life without a woman in it duncanpup, but it is premature to think it would happen this soon.

I probably would have said I'm a liberal atheist who out liberals my own children and if you voted for trump or look at fox that's a hard no.

[Bayard]

30. I am proud to call you, Friend

[LoisB]

32. I love it!

Maybe that will teach her to take hints. I would have a talk with sister-in-law about giving out your number without your permission.

[TeamProg]

34. What about Elmers glue, then roll around in glitter? That might be acceptable and freaky enough. Hey, we've

all done that, right? .. right?

[WinstonSmith4740]

35. Good for you!

I love it! I lost my Michael over 13 years ago, and really have no interest in "coupling up" again. Some people can't get their minds around the fact that there's a difference between "alone" and "lonely".

[WhiteTara]

36. good job.

[japple]

38. Stick with the dogs. They're the best company you can have (except for cats.)

eom

[airplaneman]

44. One dog is about the same trouble as five cats so I am sticking with a cat n/t.

[japple]

45. FWIW, my husband died in 2004. I was 54 yrs. old. I have never been interested in

dating or seeking another partner. You might at some point, but don't let anyone push you into anything. After reading your OP, you don't seem like the type who would be vulnerable to that.

[debm55]

39. Take care, Duncanpup. If and when you are ready to date again, you will know when and who that will be.

[Marthe48]

40. Thanks for this

I laid down for a nap and dreamed my husband was with me and my mom was in the kitchen. It was a nice dream. Back to reality when I woke up. I needed a lift from someone who understands.

It does have to be the most creative 'No' I've ever read and I bet no one from the church ever asks you out, ever. Well done! lol

[Skittles]

41. this gal has already displayed traits that make her unappealing

no matter how much time goes by

[rubbersole]

43. If she shows up with red, white and blue glitter...

...USA,USA,USA!
Take one for Uncle Sam!

[MLAA]

46. Well played.

When you have loved and been loved as you and Liz have been that might just be enough for one lifetime. I can’t imagine life with anyone other than Michael when he is gone.

[moniss]

48. You may not have heard from her because she is

out arranging for funds and delivery of a truckload of Elmer's.

[Permanut]

49. The only thing is..

that paste tasted terrible, if I recall.

Maybe if you went with hot fudge or marionberry jam.

[twodogsbarking]

50. Ah Dunc, who knew you were kinky? The dog hair would likely scare her away.

[Beachnutt]

51. Give her a cpl weeks to think it over

she'll be calling again and take you up on it as long as you keep it on the downlow, those christian women are kinky behind closed doors.

[Polly Hennessey]

52. Good for you.

[DFW]

54. A classic case of pushy coming to being shoved

No wonder some one like that is alone and doesn‘t want to be (and probably always will be). It sounds like the only chemistry possible with one such as her would be on the order of oil and water.

Good for you on both your initial patience, as well as your response once that patience was exhausted.

I fully sympathize with your current sentiments. I met my wife 49 years ago, and I‘d be a wreck without her. I‘m not solitary by nature, but my hat goes off to any woman who would be willing to even try to take her place if I were to lose her.

[PatrickforB]

55. I don't think I ever told you how sorry I am you lost your wife. It is horrible to lose someone you love.

I truly wish you the best.

Good move on the Elmer's paste, by the way. I'm thinking they won't be trying to make any more matches.

[Joinfortmill]

56. Made me laugh. Very sorry for your loss.

If you take to it, there is a certain peacefulness from traveling life in the alone lane. I've done it for 30 years now, mostly because I couldn't find a compatible partner, but maybe because that was always my comfort zone. Take care.