are you happily alone?

[mopinko]

i know that some of us here are sorta involuntarily alone but i'm wondering about the ratio, so i thought to make a poll.

30 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	i'm alone by choice, and i like it that way.
	16 (53%)
	i'm alone by choice, but i hate it.
	0 (0%)
	i'm alone due to circumstances, but i like it this way.
	4 (13%)
	i'm alone due to circumstances, and i hate it.
	3 (10%)
	i'm okay w it now, but i hope it changes.
	2 (7%)
	other. please specify.
	5 (17%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[lpbk2713]

1. Been that way most of my life.

I enjoy my own company more than anyone else's that I can think of.

[mopinko]

2. i'm the complete opposite.

come from a big family, raised a big family. even since i've lived alone, i've had family of choice that was part of every day.
til jan 2020.

[lpbk2713]

3. I do well in most social situations.

I have no antagonism toward other people. I was even married from 73 - 85. Have three wonderful adult children who I see often. I've gotten used to being on my own, so that's fine with me.

[Warpy]

8. Most introverts are like that

It's not antagonism toward other people, it's needing to recharge our batteries by having alone time after we've been around them.

That's why those of us who are alone are often happily so.

[prodigitalson]

13. That's so true. I like people. I just like solitude more.

I am a teacher and before that I worked in public relations. So I'm really pretty good out in society. But it is tiring. It is work.

[luvs2sing]

4. Even though I prefer to live alone..

I have shared my home and life with my husband since 1996. He is the only person whose presence enriches my life, and he understands my need for a lot of alone time.

[intheflow]

5. Alone by choice, okay with it for now, don't want to give up the dream

of finding true love. But as a 58-year-old white woman with no wealth or savings and two advanced degrees living in a city where only 19% of people over the age of 24 have a Bachelor's... the pickings are slim and I may have to accept that being alone is just how the rest of my life will be spent. Sigh.

[mopinko]

6. well, i've had a couple of less than the dream relationships, and i'm not sorry.

had a thing w a married man, and it was simple, and what i needed after 30 yrs of mostly boring marriage.
fell in love w a man just in time for him to be dx'd w als.
have a thing online that's likely never going to happen in meatspace, but it's a warm friendship and goofy fun. and it helps to have the perspective of a man my age, cuz i have questions.

i've had the cupid's flaming arrow kind of love in my lifetime. and i've had grand good times. and my marriage was a success, even if it ended.
so yeah, i hope that's not over.
but it's been my motto in life that i have more regrets for the things i didnt do than the things i did, and i'm done w that.

[Gore1FL]

7. I don't know the answer.

I live alone. It wasn't by choice. It's by choice now. I could see it being conceivable, but unlikely I would change the situation.

I see little benefit to having someone else around other than more things would get done around the house.

[IA8IT]

9. Alone by her cancer death circumstances six years. Getting out more last couple years.

I find that sitting at tables of happy married couples listening to happy married couples conversations I've nothing to add to the conversation. Then I get a feeling like claustrophobia and I excuse myself and grab my keys.

[BunnyMcGee]

10. Other

I wish I had more time for myself, and to pursue hobbies

[CountAllVotes]

11. My husband of 44 years died in May

I am lost without him. It seems the grief is worse now than it was after he died.

I have three cats.

If it weren't for the cats I think I may have given up by now as I am very ill and the money went so fast! Wow.

[prodigitalson]

14. Do something nice for yourself today

Something you don't normally do.

[snot]

12. I think I do better with a good mate, but

my ex's all turned out to be more trouble than they were worth. I know it must partly be me, or the people I pick, or something...I think...

That said, I'm drawn to Salvadore Dali's approach: each spouse has their own residence, separated by a small courtyard.

[jfz9580m]

15. I subscribe to Oscar Wilde's views on solitude

Last edited Thu Oct 19, 2023, 11:39 AM - Edit history (1)

"A bore is someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company."

I prefer solitude to company except where it is business/unavoidable. Due to circumstances I have not felt I had enough of it in the last decade. Now I am sort of resigned to a baseline level of disruption at least temporarily, but I do prefer solitude (except were the company on offer that scintillating!)

I don't even like the net much since it became social. I was originally only online
for two things: work* and political armchair slacktivism. Over the last decade however, even I developed Stockholme Syndrome wrt the hyperconnected world. Thankfully it is fading. I have a couple of very close friends-that aside I find company a bit exhausting. I never feel like myself except when I am alone or with my closest friends. Now that I do not even drink (except that lame social drinking stuff), I really don't get socializing..

I actually kinda liked that aspect of the pandemic. A built in excuse for avoiding company .

I find it very soothing to be both alone and offline (save for contact from my few close friends).

*: In spite of all the Si Valley palaver about tech/connection and productivity, with rare exceptions, I find any sort of communication technology net disruptive wrt just about any task that requires long hours of intense focus. I am trying to build that in this noisy, overly connected world. It is an uphill task, but looking more hopeful lately...