I MISS MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!

[MissMillie]

This discussion thread was locked by EarlG (a host of the Elder-caregivers group).

I want to scream it as loud and as far as I can.

She's not gone, but she's gone.

I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE THAT SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER US AND HOW MUCH WE LOVE HER!!!!!!

I HATE IT!!!!!

[Skittles]

1. so sorry MissMillie

[Peregrine Took]

2. I felt that way about my dearest brother who had vascular dementia.

When I played the Clancy Brothers for him (he loved them) I thought I got a tiny flicker of recognition but then it faded.

I thought music was a way to make contact (playing Mozart for my 80 yr old SIL in a coma worked) but this time - no.

[madaboutharry]

3. I'm sorry.

I saw this with my grandmother. The first person she forgot was my father.

It is very cruel when someone you love is robbed of their legacy.

All I can say is that after my grandmother was gone and the grief ebbed, we were all able to remember the vibrant, funny. generous, and loving woman she had been. That is how we all remember her now.

[dewsgirl]

4. I am so sorry, that has to be unbelievably difficult.

[MontanaMama]

5. Lost my dad to early onset Alzheimer's.

He was diagnosed at the age of 64 and died at 71. It was a brutal experience. I, too, missed him desperately before he actually passed. I am sorry you’re going through this. It is terrible. Looking back, with a little bit of clarity that time has given me, it was a privilege to care for him when he was most vulnerable. He was a powerful, strong willed man in his prime and there was such a sweetness to him as he faded away from me. I’m sending you hugs. This is so hard, I know.

[democrank]

6. This must be so difficult.

I’m sorry. Sending a hug.

[femmedem]

7. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard.

I'm dreading the day when my mother doesn't remember me when I call. I think some evenings she doesn't remember how to answer the phone.

[Hoyt]

8. I get it. I was watching some TV show where the mother had a brief reversal and was telling her son

that she was so sorry that she soon wouldn’t remember him. The son just looked and her and said, “It doesn’t matter, I will al always remember you.”

Take care.

[lostnfound]

9. Hope one day she'll read the book of her own life, and see how you loved her...

Even when she couldn’t give anything back.

So sorry.

You’re honoring her, with your care. It’s love in a pure form, when they can’t give back.

But scream if you want to, you’re entitled.

[we can do it]

10. I'm so sorry.

[Atticus]

11. I am so sorry for your pain. My views are no better than anyone else's, but I do believe that

somewhere---perhaps a "somewhere" we cannot even imagine---your mother KNOWS how much you love her.

I believe that love, precious love, is in no way diminished by time or distance or any other of our mortal concerns. Your love could be known and felt if your Mom was half a world away. Your love was undoubtedly a "given" in her mind as she fell asleep each night in better times.

What you see and hear now is not "her". You hold her in your heart and, even now, she feels and returns your love.

I hope that did not sound like a sermon as I am wholly unqualified to deliver one.

[JudyM]

12. So sorry.

I know how that hurts, sweetheart, went through it with my dad. Day at a time

It’s galling how there’s plenty of government $ for other things but not enough to meaningfully make progress in dementia research.

Wishing you peaceful moments with her.

[wendyb-NC]

13. My mom had Alzheimer's.

It is a wrenching disease to see in a loved one. They are there mostly in a physical sense though, she lost her ability to speak and walk, and to take care of her hygiene. Growing up she was so energetic, intelligent, well spoken and had a kind and generous heart. Alzheimer's robbed her, and all of us, her children, of 15 years of her life. My heart breaks, for the tragic gap of time, where she was both present and absent.

[handmade34]

14. ...

no words... only that I've been there and understand

[Ohiogal]

15. I'm so sorry MissMillie

Last edited Fri Jan 24, 2020, 08:41 PM - Edit history (1)

I can’t imagine how heart wrenching and difficult it must be.

[Phoenix61]

16. I'm so sorry.

I took care of my mom the last two years of her life. She called me “Charlie”. That was my Dad’s name. It was hard but I’m glad I got to spend that time with her and know that she was getting the best care possible.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

17. Aging is a cruel process

My mom had Supra nuclear palsy and Parkinson's. She died January 2nd 2020 and I missed her and mourned for her before she died.

It really hurts to watch aging happen it is cruel.

[MFM008]

18. So sorry

I miss mine to.
😪😪😪😪

[Trueblue Texan]

19. Sending you hugs...

...living with dementia has got to be one of the worst things there is. Take care of yourself.

[samnsara]

20. but you remember her.. that was her job as a mother.. to give you..

...memories...sounds like she did a wonderful job (((hugs)))

[Ruslaideemin1941]

21. My sincere condolences

Losing our loved ones is a shocking experience for all, especially the loss of our mom. We can’t believe our eyes when we feel the pain of separation forever. But we will die one day if we are born because it is the law of nature. We must be able to take relief in our good reminiscences of her over time. In this painful time, we must share our pain in the presence of our dear ones to recover from the pain.

[EarlG]

22. I'm locking this thread at the OP's request

Thanks,

EarlG