Hi, I'm actually GliderGuider, who posted below

[The_jackalope]

I ran afoul of the admins over a political issue (what else), so I had to start a new handle. Life goes on.

The update is that my beloved is in her end crisis. The cancer moved far faster than we were prepared for, and appears to have taken out a lot of her digestive system. 24 hours ago she was good enough to go see our family doctor, now she's too sick to take an ambulance to emergency. She can't hold down food or liquids, even water. She is is vomiting every ten minutes or so, and is throwing up what appear to be pieces of stomach tissue. Since she was still depending on oral pain meds, and doesn't have approval for injectables yet, that is a problem. Between bouts of vomiting I'm trying to keep enough oral hydromorphone in her to ease the discomfort. This is an extremely rapid and merciless crash.

I'm becoming a psychopomp whether I want to or not. Please ask the universe to ease her passage.

[sweetroxie]

1. I'm so sorry. This sounds horrific.

Why is hospice not involved? Surely they could reduce the misery.

[The_jackalope]

4. Hospice is looped in, and they're being helpful

It's just that this all went pear-shaped so damn fast, we didn't have all the pieces lined up. We're doing it on the fly. I've got a headset on and working the phone as I type. I expect I'll be able to get a palliative care doctor over here today.

My wife doesn't want to go to emergency because of the risk that they'll admit her. I know that sounds odd, but it's very important to her that she not be under institutional control during these final days or hours. I know why that's so important to her, and I agree with her.

The situation is fluid, and we're playing it out in real time.

[kimbutgar]

17. Best to die at home then in a cold hospital room

My Dad died in a cold hospital room. He told me to go home because he didnt want me driving at night then he passed. I always regretted that I didn't bring him home. 19 years later my mother ended up in the hospital she got stabilized and I got to bring her home where she passed 10 days later In her home with me holding her hand. So peaceful.

My sympathies and my thoughts are with you.

[FM123]

2. I am asking the universe to ease your pain as well.

[The_jackalope]

5. Thank you. I'm doing OK right now, but the stress is going to torpedo me in a day or two. nt

[samnsara]

3. I am sorry for both your suffering........

...Godspeed to your beloved for a safe passage unto the next phase of her existence....

[The_jackalope]

6. That's what I wish for her as well.

We have both sensed that there is a large and happy welcoming committee assembling on the other side. Keeping my fingers crossed.

[Hayduke Bomgarte]

7. Prayers

`

[lunasun]

8. Been wondering about you both . I know the background you have posted . Hope by now she is getting

more morphine and an emergency call was answered
Yes I will ask and also ask peace for you. Little time left hold her with love

[Leghorn21]

9. I am so sorry, GG - but I know when my late husband was so desperately ill (and did NOT want

to be hospitalized), I just inserted his morphine tablets up his butt. The hell with "protocol".

Caregiving is the hardest job we'll ever have...but you'll do a fine job, though it may not feel like it right now.

Keep us posted, please, and keep doing what you're doing -

HUGS

[mr_lebowski]

31. That does work if you can't keep anything down, but best to start out slow ...

Hydromorphone (Dilaudid) is one of the higher bio-availability via oral route opioids so you probably don't need to cut the dose TOO much when going the 'opposite' route (basically rectally admin ends up being pretty close to the strength of IV usage, though spread over much more time ... it's going direct to your blood stream). If you had to go that route I'd cut the dose in half to start to see how it affects her.

Sorry for your families suffering ... hope your pain is eased soon ...

[cilla4progress]

10. Oh my...

Blessings to all!

[appal_jack]

11. Strength to you both, GG & T_j.

I wish I could be of more help, but fwiw, there's someone way down south wishing you both as much fortitude & peace as possible.

-app

[radical noodle]

12. I'm so sorry to hear this

Prayers (and purrs from my cats) that she will have a gentle journey and that you get the help you need. Love to you both.

[LiberalLoner]

13. I am so sorry.

I hope her passage is eased and I wish for peace and comfort for you. I'm just so sorry.

[WinstonSmith4740]

14. I walked this path.

I am so sorry you're going through it. Hospice workers are angels on earth...they will really help you both through this difficult passage. My thoughts are with you. Message me if you want to vent.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

15. A rectal infusion of the drug might avoid vomiting. Read up and start with quarter dosage.

Drugs can be absorbed faster and more completely in the rectum sometimes.

But read up and get medical advice if you can, even over the phone.

[volstork]

16. So deeply sorry

May you both be surrounded by the support of those you love in these days.

[WhiteTara]

18. Om Mani Padme Hum

May her next life be auspicious. My heart is with you.

[world wide wally]

19. Peace

[Moral Compass]

20. That is so horrible

My sympathies go out to you and your spouse.

[nolabear]

21. May she cross easy, and may you find peace.

[HAB911]

22. Most of us will walk this path if not already

I just did with my older brother in Hospice

Peace to you both

[Ligyron]

23. Really sorry to hear this.

We used to dissolve that drug in water and inject because it breaks down very, very easily hence the "hydro" in hydromorphone. People drop Dilaudid right in the barrel of the syringe, suck up some water, shake, get the air bubbles out and inject in upper arm, where ever.

Can't throw that up.

I'm just telling you what I know...

Good luck.

[Plucketeer]

24. My heartfelt sympathies to your spouse and you

I know what you're going thru and I wish I had something stronger than an easy passing to offer. Peace

[catbyte]

25. I'm so very sorry. If you have decent insurance that covers prescriptions, Aqtiq lollipops

would be very effective for her pain. The fentanyl is absorbed through the tissue in the cheek so swallowing & keeping down the meds isn't an issue.They're wicked expensive, though. I used to be on them for pain control, but I lost my great prescription drug benefits when I retired so I had to find something else much less expensive. Again, I'm so very sorry. I've seen family members & my spouse of 30 years through terminal illnesses and it's just plain horrific. Please don't forget to take care of you.

[dbackjon]

26. Very sorry to here this May she pass quickly and softly

[Moostache]

27. My deepest sympathies and condolences to you both.

I do truly hope that she finds respite and you find comfort in this terrible ordeal and when the storm has passed and the grief run its cruel and inevitable course, that you are able to reflect on the warm and happier times and hold those dear the rest of your days and that the memories and torment of the present slips effortlessly into a deep past to never be revisited.

[DonCoquixote]

28. heaven knows we liocked horns on occasion, but

I would not wish this on anyone, especially as this is ery close to the fate I am trying to keep my mother from. Godspeed.

[pangaia]

29. GG, jack, Bodhi.... You will be ok. You will make it through.

So will she....each in his or her way....

I do not know her.. or you, really. But, I will carry each of you today, lightly, one on each shoulder...

[Eliot Rosewater]

30. Ask for this

GENERIC NAME: PROMETHAZINE SUPPOSITORY - RECTAL (proe-METH-a-zeen)

BRAND NAME(S): Phenergan, Promethegan

guaranteed to do wonders on nausea and is a suppository

[Duppers]

32. I am so sorry.

I've thought of your wife's health for months but am now at a loss for words. I hope she is resting without pain now.

Hugs.

[The_jackalope]

33. I took her to emergency yesterday at 1:00 PM

In the emergency department she was treated with IV Dilaudid and anti-nausea medication. That helped. Then they admitted her to the hospital at 2:30 am and her care fell apart. No further pain management or anti-nauseants, with no prospect of any until after 9:00 am. Plus she contracted diarrhoea from somewhere. She ended up almost as sick as she was when she went in. She is apparently too sick for the hospital to manage effectively. Even worse, they were talking about a multi-day stay which she was not prepared to accept. So she took some of her own Dilaudid and called me to bust her out. At 6:00 am I got her home. She says if she's going to suffer she wants to do it at home where she has more freedom to act, and things happen on her schedule rather than when the institution gets around to it.

She is emphatic about not allowing herself to be put under institutional control of any sort - even something as benign as a voluntary hospital admission. If she decides to leave the world, she doesn't want anything standing in her way. I am, as always, in full agreement, and as a loving partner wholeheartedly support her in determining the course of her own life - or death.

So for the moment, life goes on.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, suggestions and best wishes. It means a lot to have this place to come to and vent.

[babylonsister]

34. My heart is hurting for you both.

Any chance of getting hospice involved? They helped my mom, and can prescribe what may be needed.

[The_jackalope]

35. I spoke with the hospice coordinator yesterday, and I'll be talking to her again today.

She understands our situation, and is extremely compassionate. However, we need a palliative care doctor to visit before they can prescribe. I'm going to start shaking the hospice tree today to see if one falls out.