Where do caregivers or family go for support?

[bucolic_frolic]

I'm family and not exactly the caregiver, but there's no support in any area of life anyway. I don't have a timeline, but can guess. There are issues and unresolved matters for me. And a complicated heavy load for the first quarter too. I hold it together well, and manage it all on my own, but the lack of a 'sounding board' I find quite difficult. Now major illness lumped on the pile. I don't think it's hospice, yet, but sometimes it's almost the same thing and they don't tell you. Gonna get off here and try to sleep on it. Please don't pile on the advice. Just knowing there might be a nugget in the morning is a big help.

[Lefta Dissenter]

1. I'm sorry I have no useful nuggets

but being a caregiver to my aging parents, one of whom has Alzheimer's, I wish I could give you a big hug of support.

All the best to you. I'm sure you'll find some wisdom around here.

[sheshe2]

2. Hospice does.

Not sure who it extends to. They are a remarkable group.

[bucolic_frolic]

9. I know some folks at a local hospice, but it's a different state and 200 miles from my relative

And they are more into nuts and bolts caregiving - relief, meds, vigils. Complex old age issues - legal, nursing home admittance, anxiety - not as much. Thanks though, I will keep it in mind and ponder who and how to approach.

[MLAA]

3. Hospice sure helped me with my wonderful Dad.

They came to his home for a few weeks and the last 2 days were at their facility. They took my calls for help and acted immediately so that dad was never in pain.

[3Hotdogs]

4. AARP has a subgroup for caregiver support.

V.A., if the person was a veteran. Yours or the patient's primary physician.

Clergy.

With any of the above, it depends on the quality of the person giving support to the caregiver.


AND then, right here, there is D.U. I have poured my heart out a couple of times on D.U. I've gotten compassion and good advice. I have also seen others get the same on D.U.

Whether you choose to post here, for your own benefit, take out a notepad or whatever and write out what physiological problems you are meeting.... from as simple as needing to go shopping to constant need to "be there' for the person. Write it out on paper, not the computer screen. You may put it on the computer at a later time.

Then do the same for your feelings. "I feel....... when xxx happens. Or I feel this way alll the time. Guilt and resentment are big ones for caregivers who fee overwhelmed. And maybe anger towards others who are not helping but should.


I will stop here.

[herding cats]

5. This is beautiful coping advice.

As someone whose been there before it deeply resonated.

My heart to yours. You're either a therapist, or have endured the hell of this struggle first hand. Either way, this is sound advice. ❤️

[SheltieLover]

6. Hospice, palliative care, council on aging

Local senior center, Clergy if one is so inclined.

[Simeon Salus]

7. When I was helping my mom, a local OKC United Way partner (Sunbeam) helped a bunch

Try this: https://www.unitedway.org/caregivers#

There's a link at the bottom to help find local UW partners. This is the kind of assistance all those donations go towards.

In my mom's community, I found a caregivers' support group, respite care when I needed to leave the house, and some personal counseling and training appropriate to my mom's condition. The support group helped me understand the sorts of challenges caregivers face. By seeing what others are going through I was better prepared when the final stages (like in-home hospice care) became apparent.

Please don't feel alone and don't feel guilty or unappreciated. Reach out to local community partners. Many faith-based communities can be resources for networking and self-care.

[Simeon Salus]

8. Here's a link to some training which is available

https://www.powerfultoolsforcaregivers.org

[bucolic_frolic]

10. Thanks to all for support and ideas

I am finding a way forward, making a couple phone calls for today. I hope to get some clearer information over the next few weeks, or even days. Maybe the initial shock is more difficult than the doing. But a plan and support for the plan is most helpful and appreciated!

To all you at DU