"Which Will Last Longer, Kash Patel or My Bananas?" Kimmel 🤣 - LateNight

[Rhiannon12866]

Last edited Thu Apr 23, 2026, 05:54 AM - Edit history (1)

Kimmel and Colbert roast FBI director, Kash Patel, after the recent Atlantic report about him.

The Atlantic just published a report alleging FBI Director Kash Patel has been drinking excessively on the job and is paranoid about getting fired — and Kimmel and Colbert delivered the roast he deserved.

Featuring the sharpest punchlines from both shows, back to back.

[Just Jerome]

1. When my bananas

make googly eyes they go to compost.

[TheRickles]

2. Hopefully this gag will be as effective as the "head of lettuce" joke that marked British PM Liz Truss' term in office.

She was the shortest sering PM ever (49 days) and the British media never let go of the Op Ed joke wondering which would last longer, her term in office or a head of lettuce:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liz_Truss_lettuce

[IronLionZion]

3. He is bananas, so no difference

[Ray Bruns]

4. Well, the bananas are smarter and definitely more sober.

[niyad]

5. And far more useful.

[mgardener]

6. What happened to

Only the best people?
Remember Trump bragged about that?

[NoMoreRepugs]

7. Tens of millions of Deplorable voters will NEVER be aware that these key administration individuals

are no more qualified than their embarrassing drunk uncle Wally.