Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
Editorials & Other Articles
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
The Borowitz Report: Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Seashells [View all]
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-signs-executive-order-banning-eb5
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the exoskeletons of marine mollusks “the deadliest weapons known to man,” on Tuesday Donald J. Trump signed an executive order banning seashells.
“Now the American people can sleep well at night, knowing that their president has protected them from death by seashell,” Trump told reporters during the Oval Office signing ceremony.
“Obama didn’t do anything about seashells, and neither did Biden,” he said. “I’m the only president who would do this.”
Trump used the ceremony to defend his increasingly unpopular war in the Middle East, declaring, “Iran must never be allowed to have seashells.”
- short article, no more at link -
“Now the American people can sleep well at night, knowing that their president has protected them from death by seashell,” Trump told reporters during the Oval Office signing ceremony.
“Obama didn’t do anything about seashells, and neither did Biden,” he said. “I’m the only president who would do this.”
Trump used the ceremony to defend his increasingly unpopular war in the Middle East, declaring, “Iran must never be allowed to have seashells.”
Good one Andy!
1 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read