Your purpose isn't something to find, it's something you form

[Celerity]

In my therapy office, I’ve found that to live with greater purpose, we must think differently about where it comes from

https://psyche.co/ideas/your-purpose-isnt-something-to-find-its-something-you-form





In my work as a clinical psychologist, I have supported numerous people who described feeling listless, apathetic, and lost in life. These clients often say they lack a guiding light to direct their efforts. ‘I’m searching for my North Star,’ one recently said. ‘Finding purpose in life’ is a commonly cited reason for seeking support. But years of clinical experience have taught me that trying to ‘find’ purpose can become part of the problem rather than the solution.

Before I explain, let’s first reflect on what purpose is. The preoccupation with living a purposeful life is as old as civilisation itself: scripts dating back millennia bear witness to religious deities and spiritual leaders (Krishna, the Buddha and the prophet Muhammad, to name a few) and a litany of ancient philosophers (such as Confucius, Laozi and Aristotle) who extolled the virtues of purpose. In more recent times, the existentialist school of philosophy identified purpose as a key ingredient in a meaningful life. Purpose is now widely understood as an enduring reason for being – a motivational force that guides our choices, gives meaning to our actions, and connects our lives to something beyond ourselves.

Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist who survived the horrors of Nazi concentration camps, had a profound influence on our contemporary understanding of purpose. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning (1946), Frankl wrote of his wartime experiences: ‘Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost.’

Contemporary wisdom – perhaps influenced by Frankl’s idea of a ‘search for meaning’ – has resolutely identified purpose as something to be ‘found’. The author and speaker Simon Sinek has done more than most to popularise the importance of purpose in recent decades. His books, including Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team (2017), are international bestsellers. According to Google Ngram Viewer, which charts the frequency of a word or phrase in books, the use of the phrase ‘find your purpose’ has risen by more than 3,000 per cent in the past three decades. But this emphasis on finding purpose may inadvertently be thwarting people’s efforts to live purposeful lives.

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