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[NBachers]

31. My ex-wife's uncle was Cy Sperling, who was actually a real character and quite an entertaining guy.

“I’m not only the president of the Hair Club for Men, I’m a client.“

They used to have infomercials during the late show and I was one of the “trained operators who are waiting for your call.“ We take down names and numbers as leads for Cy, and the rest of the sales staff to call back later. They’d throw us a few bucks of beer money.

As far as my family goes – nope, the Irish side were potato famine, bilge class. On the German side, an ancestor came over because he wanted to avoid being drafted into the Kaiser’s endless wars. Then he sent his passport over to his brother, and his brother came over fraudulently. So fuck these deporting assholes.