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Men's Group

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)

4. Thank you for your honest post.

Reply to MadrasT (Reply #3)

Tue Mar 5, 2013, 10:16 AM

Mar 2013

It seems you have been on both sides. I certainly understand how -when you were with the older man who supported you -you felt cheapened and like you were using him.

And it seems now that the shoe is on the other foot, you can experience the sense of "how is this fair?" that men live with. Not only do we die earlier (10 years or so) but we never really have an equal opportunity to pursue careers out of pure love because the societal expectation strongly pressures us to work for money and be the providers -both so that we can find a mate and then, after, so that we can provide. To fail to do so means a loss of manhood for most. A sense of worthlessness that honestly I don't think most women can fully appreciate.

I really appreciate your attempt to see things from this side. Thank you.

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34 replies

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Highlight:

If women were the ones EXPECTED FROM BIRTH to be wage slaves... [View all] Bonobo Mar 2013 OP

... then they'd only make 77 cents on the dollar. Scuba Mar 2013 #1

In that case, they would get full pay. Bonobo Mar 2013 #2

that would be incorrect. In the U.S. more women than men work cali Mar 2013 #21

Actually that has more to do with child rearing Major Nikon Mar 2013 #8

You know that this is false, right? lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #11

OK, I will give it a go. MadrasT Mar 2013 #3

Thank you for your honest post. Bonobo Mar 2013 #4

One of the reasons I respect my new male partner is that he went with a career he loves MadrasT Mar 2013 #6

What is frustrating isn't "women who look to men to be their meal ticket" lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #13

I don't really see a big problem with gender roles Major Nikon Mar 2013 #15

For me, there is another problem with traditional gender roles. MadrasT Mar 2013 #16

The way I see it is it all goes back to discrimination Major Nikon Mar 2013 #17

That works for me. MadrasT Mar 2013 #18

I agree with all of it, too. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #20

My daughter has been schooling me lately... Bonobo Mar 2013 #19

Once upon a time, when I did make much more than my wife, it didn't cause resentment at home lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #12

I feel the same way st0rk Mar 2013 #14

You would see more women... Major Nikon Mar 2013 #5

You mean men don't choose those things because they LOVE to do them? Bonobo Mar 2013 #7

I'm not sure women have any more or less freedom Major Nikon Mar 2013 #9

...the system would get changed. n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #10

I'd like to know which women aren't expected to work? BainsBane Mar 2013 #22

I can't speak for Bonobo, but I think his OP is deliberately exaggerating and caricaturing Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #23

Not exactly. Bonobo Mar 2013 #27

I have done some time as a SAHD. I think things have changed, somewhat. Warren DeMontague Mar 2013 #33

The blogosphere is filled with debate about the appropriate choice for moms lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #24

Yes. That is correct. Bonobo Mar 2013 #25

the choice is there BainsBane Mar 2013 #29

The only Moms that have that choice are upper middle class BainsBane Mar 2013 #28

Exceptions proving the rule. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #30

Your rule is the top 1% BainsBane Mar 2013 #31

I was very fortunate to get the opportunity to be a stay at home dad. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2013 #32

It's great you had that opportunity BainsBane Mar 2013 #34

My response is in #25 below. nt Bonobo Mar 2013 #26