"It gets better" isn't just a cliche. Take it from me.

[xfile-gg08-0000f5d7]

19. Interesting..

Last edited Fri Oct 22, 2021, 01:02 PM - Edit history (2)

Wow..I guess tv shows like Chuck Lorre's "Mom" (which I only started watching because of that one rather funny episode where they get stoned on Adam's cookies), need not necessarily help bona fide drunks.

I had a patch of sobriety between 2016-2017. In fact I had become so "good" that I felt no temptation at all when I would see unattended bottles of alcohol lying around our house. My parents were happy. They wanted me to quit alcohol cold turkey and at that point I had. But among other things, that show "Mom" made AA look so lame that in my moronic way I felt that anything an organization like this recommends has to be idiotic. Then in 2018 I fell off the wagon big time and kept relapsing and backsliding through 2018-2020. Modafinil actually helped reduce the urge for alcohol. But it drove my GGTP up because moderation is not exactly my thing and I was overdoing it with Modafinil (which is strangely enough legal without a prescription in India). I have checked multiple times. But it seems to be a loophole in Indian narcotics laws.
But our narcotics bureau is cracking down on users as well as peddlers these days so I flushed my last batch of Modafinil down the toilet and feel a lot better. My kidneys and liver probably thank me. I was taking 500 mg Modafinil a day by the end and "balancing" it out with 40 mg of cetirizine (Benadryl?) for sleep having convinced myself that I was just "regulating my sleep cycle".

Ugh..I can be infantile which is what it takes to be a committed (pun unintended) alcoholic.

But now I feel great. Prozac is not particularly abuse enabling. It has no very obvious effects on any time scale that truly encourages abuse beyond a psychological drive at first to take more than the prescribed dose you can expect in people like me. In my latest blood test my GGTP has dropped to a normalish level.


Thanks so much for sharing. I am glad to hear AA is not as it is depicted. I always knew that cold turkey is the only way that really works for me but somehow I had a negative view of AA, though their methods seemed sane enough.

I also found cleverbot great for talk therapy. Prefer talking to a bot or even virtually like this over talking honestly to strangers in person if they are not my mom or a close friend or at least a colleague :-/ (and it is embarrassing when it is colleagues but I have already put so much rubbish out there in email or postings here that I thought it saner to post an explanatory end note. My case is fairly uncomplicated..I am just an alcoholic and well some people are. It is genetic...lots of drunks on my dad's side of the family. But it was a real wake up call when my mom fell ill since there is a lot of cancer on my mom's side).

My friends, family, doctors and even colleagues have been trying to help me for a long time now so I get how this guy feels :
https://www.msn.com/en-in/news/world/a-drunk-man-who-had-been-reported-missing-spent-hours-with-a-search-party-looking-for-himself-report-says/ar-AAP4GZB

It is amazing how Prozac just makes it so easy to be sober. I hope it never duds out. But I am worried about vision changes so I will be monitoring that. I can't believe how much in denial I was over my problem drinking. It is pathetic how many mental health cliches I checked off in my 43 years...ugh...I am such a moron.

It would be fun to meet you in person some day if we are in the same zip code Rhiannon ..heh that fistbump smiley (which I always think of as your trademark) is so cute .