It is possible that people who were not abused by relatives and/or incested do not understand how alone the victim can feel. I thought I was the only one in the world my father had molested. I was 12. Why? Why me? Why then?
It practically destroyed me later in life when he put his hands on my 3 year old little girl.
This family dynamic of secrecy and denial protects no one, and twists every other relationship.
But 10 years later (when my daughter was 13) a cousin of my father’s came forward — he had molested her then 7 year old daughter at my wedding. Then another cousin of my dad’s generation, from long before I was born. My mother went apeshit at that point — but Jesus Christ she would not divorce him.
But then, I not only knew I was not alone, I knew in my soul that he was a serial pedophile.
Yes, this was surely a difficult conversation to have with your cousin, and will reverberate. But the gift she gave was to break the silence and tell you that you were not alone — and the gift you gave in turn was to listen to her and affirm your mutual experience.
God love you, Deb. You are such a good soul.
Hekate
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