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[Tobin S.]

4. We all screw up sometimes.

It's hard to go through life without hurting someone. I've probably hurt some people very badly in my time. I know I have. There might be someone in therapy right now because of some stupid shit I pulled.

At the same time, I was mentally crippled by some people who were very close to me. That needed validation.

But we have to be honest with ourselves. Pointing a finger means that you might have to point it right back at yourself as well. I think if we expect to be whole, healthy people we have to acknowledge our own mistakes and faults. One thing that happens when you do that is that you will probably be less likely to make the same mistake again. It's also a very humbling experience...an ego deflating experience.

I had half of the equation down before my breakthrough/meltdown. I knew I had done some bad things in the past and not a day would go by when I would not be reminded of it. I actually loathed myself at times. When I turned it around and realized how badly I'd been treated in the past things started making a lot more sense to me. How could I love someone who had abused me? How could I turn out to be anything other than a very angry man?

I've screwed up bad. I had to acknowledge that. Hell, I beat myself up over it on a daily basis. But it was time to put it to rest. People hurt me really bad, so badly that I didn't even want to acknowledge it. Now it's time to put that to rest, too.