major nightmare trauma dump last night...and then I cleaned my room today...

[FirstLight]

6. ....Had another longer version of not being able to SPEAK dream...

this one wasn't as traumatic in the sense that I didn't wake up screaming. BUT, it was very long and drawn out and there was a lot of recurring moments of not being able to TALK, to ASK FOR HELP, TELL PEOPLE I WAS LOST, etc...

Where the first part of me says the recent trauma of being strangled is the cause (and also not telling anyonoe about my abuseive relationship..and not beinig taken seriously by people when asking for help)

...I can also see the theme being true through much of my life. Since I was the black sheep and always calling out the inconsistencies...being told to NOT say anything was a big way my Mom would have me avoid confrontation with my rageaholic father...Even as an adult, at family functions I was told to "stop being so LOUD"
I guess I have been muzzling myself for much of my life.

How do I continue to learn how to speak my truth? How do I remind mysle to OPEN my mouth when I need to?

This process will be continuing...