I had a meltdown on the artist's forum last night. I am so sorry to DU.

[LiberalLoner]

I am very grateful for the kind DUers who gave me support and hope.

I think everything has been getting to me a bit.

I don’t want to do art work anymore and I thought, I don’t think that will ever come back, I think my happiness is over, what is the point of anything? You know how you can spiral into those thoughts. And feeling like a failure because none of my work the last couple of months has been anything but garbage, and I thought, well there goes my hope that I still had something to give to the world, now I am useless and worthless. The dark thoughts.

Trying to do better today and stop myself from spiraling.

I feel shell shocked too from all that is going on, from what my husband tells me as a federal worker in DC. I feel hopeless on that front, too. We are all grappling with those feelings now.

It is so hard.

I’m grateful for the DUers who showed me kindness and patience last night and I apologize for my meltdown, and I should have posted it here and not there. I went there because I wanted to tell my fellow artists why I haven’t posted in awhile and why I maybe won’t post there ever again.