My ADHD paralysis is overwhelming

[jfz9580m]

16. This is my last post for a year or so

Unless something changes. I am not this voluble. It’s kinda fracked out of me . Just now another asshole on a bike went by at 6:17 pm making as much noise as possible.
I sent in another police complaint. This is up here making it easy for the police or anyone else in a position of authority.

I have never had any mental health issues that were not entirely induced by these misogynists and predatory parasitic tech companies, their garbageware and encroachment into living and working spaces.

I don’t even need to organize so much as wrap up my work and get out. Trump 2.0, Roe v Wade dying etc has convinced me that only aggressive action will fix this.

I have decided to file complaints against the city, state and the govt in the Us where this started not to mention the host institution -especially the hospital. I am also filing complaints against the private sector companies and any hospitals involved here except my current hospital and my onc’s hospital.
I use marijuana medically and am very grateful to be able to buy modafinil from a responsible pharmacist known to our family for over 20 years. I normally go with the rules on medical stuff but I have not found anything helpful after my original adhd presc in 2009-2010. My last employer was truly loathsome and these creeps here are just unbearable.
And I don’t want to get involved with right wing or generally creepy bored people. I am filing complaints against the city, the state at least.
I hope my medical MJ company isn’t affected/
/

In the long run I have no doubt about being on the “right side of history”. None of this was my idea/
Looking in exasperation at this whole mess and these internet creeps and their pathetic ai and world domination ambitions.

The thing is none of the scientists or doctors I have ever seen are anything like these guys/ I saw this one Doctor Clayton Dalton and another science communicator Josh Silberg who are innocuous and seem cool or someone like Adam Becker is cool.



But in general these internet creeps of CS and their hangers on..they all like to talk and they don’t shut up and they don’t have anything worth listening to to say. If they do shut up it’s only because they are doing something sleazy and creepy.


I said from day 1 when I went to my last shithole of an employer ..when I caught on that it wasn’t a regular job that I wanted to leave/

I said it in a month/ I knew even then that this wa going to get super annoying and pointless and a lot of entirely worthless debate about every damn thing but simple stuff

My erudite sociological analysis has brought be to the conclusion that all these guys belong to one or more of the followinf sociological classes:
Creep; Bore (that’s all of them); generally sleazy; pompous and bombastic (contrarian); likes attention and for all the wrong reasons.

It’s one thing to want attention for a really well done piece of scientific work/ it’s another to go around being a giant nuisance and calling that funny and cool. My rocket exploded! They are not supposed to explode!


And that’s all these guys/ there methods are creepy and stupid and histrionic or brute force junk that splits your head. I hate all these people .


And I ..I am such a mediocre scientist and attacked as crazy for noticing simple and obvious shit like. You know we don’t need long discussions and analysis. It’s misogynistic,corrupt, creepy, conniving snd no one decent in science or outside sciencd functions like this


I myself got a headstart in the most shitty and sucky rubbish of no use to man or beast ever. And I also got a headstart in ways they attack one.


You know what. Go ahead. It will not stop me from filing a single damn complaint.

This is an affront to science, medicine, reality, democracy and pretty much any worthwhile thing. And legalization of marijuana, mental health, education, open science..nothing should be coupled with this fucking sloppy, lazy creepy awful trash and if you are online and not these unfortunate but hopefully not alarmed DUers (no it’s fine. It’s not anything. I am fine and not a bot or crazy. Just tired of trying to be polite about what looks like complete garbage& and irked by some fucking gadflies like that Curtis creep pr similar bore who shows up to be judge and jury or just stare slack jawed. It’s so annoying and it’s not lord of flies or yellow jackets as this stupid autocomplete suggests.

I don’t know what it is/ but this is why I disliked EECS and liked the natural sciences.
These Cs and economics creeps ..That Henry Murray personalities guy type should study them instead dissecting quiet scientists in the natural sciences who are nothing like this.

I have never come across peopel like these outside EECs and places like my last shithole (one of those MIT Harvard Stanford places..they only attract grandiose or generally annoying people. I don’t want to be their “DEI” plant which is an insult to diversity. I don’t want to “tell a story” because..who thinks like that?

I can’t tell you what a bad fit this was. It’s Solaris and every dystopian scifi bought to life but kinda lame and tacky and derivative because you are never ever ever going to know people who don’t want to get into these circuses.


It’s such a double edged thing/ you try to ev civil so it’s not the specstacl or a yet another sad podcast. My colleagues were nothing like this.

This is that type that’s more like those tech creeps. I didn’t even know that a concept like kayfabe existed. These are all sad and lame people/ I am reading Adam Becker’s book which I highly recommend and to an environmentalist, a real feminist (I lean Valerie Solanas..well minus the violence), a struggling scientist or any “not completely annoying person” it’s a punishment to be around these guys. To try to understand how they think and you instinctively get that they have huge egos. I reacted angrily at first and then later started fawning since I didn’t want to ..

Anyway, it’s not worth it. I am not going to bother with this. I will finish my paper and file all applicable complaints. I have nothing against my mentor or well..I have lots of things against him but it doesn’t rise to the level of a complaint. He is on the bridge between scientists I like (the far more common kind in physics/chemistry/biology/ecology) and those technology creeps. And he can go and buy into all that but I don’t want to. I think it is downright gullible to go and work with those creeps but he is welcome to, I won’t. And I am filing complaints/

I want to thank EarlG and cleverbot for tolerating me and now I have to go offline and try to remember who I was before these ghastly 14 years.
I have absolutely no penchant for this shit.
Another criminal noise polluting misogynist type on their damn bikes at 7:03 pm. Type 1 error or not, there’s a reason for it.
This is stupid.

These creeps have a bunch of data on some peopel they don’t know who don’t voluntarily talk to them and then analyze that to make up bs about mental health or personality ignoring the obvious.

And du and DUers are cool. Everyone here has to get past EarlG and MIRT so that’s good. I’ll be back in a year
It’s all embarassing ..to the tech creeps.

It was just uniformly creepy and annoying from where I stood and this is why I avoid technocrats/
These are the last people who should muck with the human brain and all their politics are junk.


I really hope irl I am not connected to all this..I hate so many people ..it’s not personal. It’s me not you.
Well except with any creeps actively bothering me

I want to file a criminal case against the creeps who drove by just again at 7:08 pm and every public official or data scientist or ai researcher or other predatory creep aware of or working with these creeps. I am filing a complaint with the police too/
You will “win” a nice “Turing test price” or whatever the fuck it is in terms of a solid harassment complaint against the whole crew.
Don’t pull this shit in places where acid attacks, stalking ans gangrape are not unheard of ans don’t bother with that men’s rights crap.
This whole thing should be aborted. All 14-15 years of it and laws built in so we have control over our data and private companies especially don’t and the state cannot prioritize creep rights and profit over decency.

Sorry DU had to see this. It’s not this place or the US. It’s not any stereotype. It’s the specific pathetic creepy men drawn to these things and these kleptocratic industries and the sleazy peopel in them.