Wow. I started posting here and the place died like my career!**trigger warning**

[OldBaldy1701E]

5. You know, I must apologize for something.

There are so many people becoming new members and many who have been here a while but are not aware, but we are both males.

I have to be honest here, my husband has every right to be upset about our situation, because as stated I have been little more than the 'hired help' (although I was not hired). It is so supremely frustrating to know that so many of my health issues could be addressed if only my last name was Soros, or Rockefeller. He has been working steadily with little in the way of breaks for a long time now. We are always dangling on the end of the rope, and I know it weighs on him so very much.

There is also the fact that we grew up (as well as had early adult years) in very different socioeconomic classes. (Although there were plenty of parallels as well.) I have made him into a 'farm hand' wage slave just because it is that or the whole thing ends and he goes on to his next part of life and mine is over, because without him I am truly nothing. He chose to be honorable and does things that he doesn't want to. (He is in food service management, and he is about the most introverted person you will never meet. I still don't know how he manages to do it, since he usually makes Teller look gregarious.)

(What may be the only positive thing I have brought to the table, but still part of the entire curse, is that my mother loves him to no end and would easily assist him in anything he asked of her. (Not so for myself.) So, that is a positive.)

We did get the chance to speak for a bit and I am hoping to speak further tomorrow. I just feel so worthless when we talk about stuff, especially when I have to see the pain in his eyes and know who is causing it.