at home, I'd've been there by now. But I have a responsibility to him, too. And I have no one here, really, that I can count on to help me out so I feel really really stuck and torn between responsibilities.
It's like you have one life preserver and both kids are drowning, which one do you save? Though the latter isn't in danger of drowning, but leaving him alone isn't a really a very good option except in an extreme emergency. And even then - well, it would be - complicated, not easy, fraught with complications for everyone - so many many issues to leaving him home.
I love my children. I'd do anything for them. But they all deserve everything I can do.
I find it ironic - okay this is a weird aside but it came up in conversation with the older - that the most stable one in the family is adopted and his birth family has some very very significant mental health, behavioural, and lifestyle issues. I just find that an interesting and slightly odd fact worth exploration. (Though I tend to seek surcease from sorrow and confusion in logic and puzzles on an esoteric level. You know, something to occupy my mind to keep from running screaming naked through streets brandishing scissors. . . )
Thank you, though. I feel so very alone. I don't feel I can talk to ANYone. Co-workers? Well some know something is going on because I've had to put them on notice I may just up and leave. My younger son - no . Not only doesn't he want to talk/hear about it, he probably shouldn't. the exhusband/dad? ROFLMAO. he's useless as far as I'm concerned. but the son - who blames the dad (and the f'er is to blame = though *I* should have stepped up sooner) for that vast majority of the incidents that exacerbated the issues - seems to listen to the (non-practicing alcoholic dad on occasion) though IMO the advice pretty much royally sucks - but at least he's TALKING. But *I* can't talk to him (the dad). I "stress him out". He doesn't want to 'hear it" - how bad it is. His big plan is we shoudl pull the plug and stop paying for everything (like he's paying for a damn thing.) I don't want to keep enabling, either, but my son has to get stable first, right?
= new reply since forum marked as read