Feline politics

[Jeebo]

Two of my neighbors' cats hang around my house. Callie is a pretty, sweet brown/gray/white tabby, about 18 months old. Stumpy is an older black three-legged cat who has been my neighbor and friend for some years. Three Halloweens ago, in fact, Stumpy was literally my first trick-or-treater. He came around expecting treats before any neighborhood kids did. I thought it was hilarious that my first trick-or-treater was literally a black cat!

Stumpy and Callie both know that I am a soft touch when it comes to critters. Their friendship with me is largely based on their mercenary instincts. When a critter approaches me asking for a handout, I cannot say no. And Stumpy and Callie both know it. (I always have cat food because of my own cat Fred, who almost never ventures outside the house.)

When Stumpy and Callie are both here expecting something good to eat, I will give them both equal portions of the same food. Nevertheless, Callie does not like Stumpy. She hisses and growls and raises her hackles at him, and seems to resent that I'm being just as generous with him as with her. I always tell her, "Callie, Stumpy is not your enemy! He isn't even your rival! I'm giving you the exact same thing that I would give you if he weren't even here!" And yet, when I put down a paper plate of cat food in front of her and another one in front of him, she will nibble around the edges of her food for a few seconds, and then trot over to Stumpy's food and try to keep him from eating it. Stumpy won't bother her, but she will try not only to eat her own food, but keep Stumpy from being able to eat his too.

The bottom line of this story is: Callie is a Republican. Stumpy is a Democrat. I honestly believe this tale illustrates the basic difference between the two political parties.

Another story: In June 2000, I discovered Amsterdam, and I swear to God, that whole country is literally picture-postcard pretty. I visited there about a dozen times from 2000 to my last visit in April 2007. For the second visit I discovered a 17th-century canal house in the Red Light District and ended up staying there on every visit except the first one. The man who owned the house, Mark, and his husband Rob made their living by renting rooms in the house to tourists. I discovered their house on a bed-and-breakfast site on the Internet.

I got pretty well acquainted with Mark and Rob during those several years. They're both good guys, and Mark, like me, is a cat lover. He had two pretty cats whom he called "my babies" and he pampered them. I don't remember the cats' names now, but one was male and the other female.

One day I was in his kitchen while he was feeding them. He said the female was very aggressive and protective toward her food, and when she thought Mark wasn't looking, she would shove the male cat aside and start eating his food instead of her own.

I asked Mark if he knew anything about U.S. politics. I told him, "She's a Republican, and he's a Democrat." This is the fundamental difference between our two political parties.

Maybe I should have posted this in one of the political forums instead of this one about pets. Not sure whether this is about pets or politics, but I guess it's about both.

-- Ron