I'm officially a widow as of this afternoon--update

[karin_sj]

70. I'm so sorry

Lewy Body is a horrible disease. I believe my dad had it, although he was never formally diagnosed. He had every symptom (and there are so many different types of symptoms: physical and mental). It's different than some of the other dementias as the people afflicted with it have wild ups and downs, as opposed to the steady decline of Alzheimer's. The hallucinations, delusions, and anger also make it very difficult for those around them. Plus, people suffering from it are really good at hiding it from others if they choose to do so (called "show-timing" when they put on a show of being perfectly normal in front of doctors and others). My dad did this all the time, hoping to prove to others that he was perfectly fine. When my mom and I were alone with him though (especially in the evenings/nights), we experienced and witnessed the full effect the disease had on him. My dad often told us that he wanted to "end it all," but fortunately, he ended up passing away from kidney failure.

It's really hard for anyone to understand this disease unless you're "in the trenches" with the loved one who has it. I hope that your sons will realize that you were in an impossible situation. The caretakers/loved ones suffer a great deal, along with the victim of this terrible affliction.

Take care and know that a lot of people are thinking of you and sending their support to you.