Bereavement

3Hotdogs

(14,054 posts)

22. Not many of us get the parents we wanted or felt we were entitled to. I was lucky.

Mon Jan 20, 2025, 06:59 PM

Jan 20

I didn't appreciate it as much then as I do now. But a decade gone, looking back, I was lucky.

So where does that bring us?

It goes to a story on "This American Life," from maybe 20 years ago. Probably still available on their podcast. It is about two adult siblings, talking about their mother and their childhood. I won't call her evil but she was clearly fucked up. And the episode goes on to describe events from when the kids were in effect, "on their own." from the time they were pre-teens.
At the end, their summation: "She did the best she could."

--now back to me and my parents. As I said, I was lucky. Then came my mom's fucked up behavior which started when her mom (my grandmother) died. As years went on, she became more and more difficult to be with. Then about 10 years before she died, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. From that point, things that didn't make sense, began to make sense.

She did the best she could.

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Dark n Stormy Knight

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As if this day was not bad enough, [View all] murielm99 Jan 20 OP

It is hard to lose your mother no matter how strained your relationship was. sinkingfeeling Jan 20 #1

From what you say, all you need to do is what's next. Not the time to do more. Srkdqltr Jan 20 #2

... SheltieLover Jan 20 #3

I will just send you a hug for now, murielm.❤️ sheshe2 Jan 20 #4

Forgive and Love Yourself ZDU Jan 20 #5

... alwaysinasnit Jan 20 #6

One day, one step LoisB Jan 20 #7

Dear murielm99, just breathe today. irisblue Jan 20 #8

There is no right or wrong reaction Cirsium Jan 20 #9

That was me BonnieJW Jan 20 #20

Just do what you can, when you can. Katinfl Jan 20 #10

Holding you in love and light. How you feel is how you feel, whatever that is. niyad Jan 20 #11

Sending you hugs of support, murielm gademocrat7 Jan 20 #12

It is... Bluethroughu Jan 20 #13

From me to you William769 Jan 20 #14

I'm sorry for you IbogaProject Jan 20 #15

It's called complicated grief Chicagogrl1 Jan 20 #16

Believe me or not I understand. Hope22 Jan 20 #17

Take your time, murielm. Sparkly Jan 20 #18

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this now. yardwork Jan 20 #19

Understood. 🫶🏽 blm Jan 20 #21

Not many of us get the parents we wanted or felt we were entitled to. I was lucky. 3Hotdogs Jan 20 #22

Feel what you feel XanaDUer2 Jan 20 #23

There might be some small memories that you will treasure Delmette2.0 Jan 20 #24

Yes to this Unwind Your Mind Jan 21 #30

Take care of yourself, murielm. brer cat Jan 21 #25

End of life is such a confusing time that distorts thinking bucolic_frolic Jan 21 #26

I will pray for strength for you to get through this tough time, muriel99. Diamond_Dog Jan 21 #27

I'm sorry you have to deal with this murielm99. Clouds Passing Jan 21 #28

I understand what you mean Then again, strained Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 26 #31

I understand Unwind Your Mind Jan 21 #29